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Churro Chapel: Jazzfanz Official Gathering Ground for Worshippers of the #rallychurro

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Years ago, the Jazz of Utah found themselves in a predicament.

The days of Stockton and Malone were but fading memories, slipping out of the minds of fans like sand in the hourglass.

As were the memories of brave Deron Williams, and the pre-spraypaint Carlos Boozer (peace be with him).



One prophet of Jazzfanz proclaimed that faith should be placed in the new apostle of the Jazz. Some referred to Him as God himself-- to the rest of the known world, he is referred to as Gordon Hayward.


One other prophet insisted that the hope lied within the new saviour of the Wasatch, Black Jesus himself.


These were trying times, indeed. The flashes of our God Gordon Hayward certainly appeared, though vanished in quick succession. Fickle like the Northern Lights themselves.

He known as Black Jesus never gathered is footing. Since being cursed by Chris Baal in the preseason,
an exorcism and crucifixion was inevitable.

With Saint Rudy of Normandy ordaining the exorcism, and Apostle Lindsey ordaining the sacrifice, Black Jesus is no longer with us.




...

Which brings us to the Rally Churro

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The brave prophet Dipship once attended a game, feeling a strange desire to obtain a churro from the concessions at the arena.

Upon receiving one, he strangely felt obliged not to finish his churro. The presence of this churro spurred the Jazz to victory.

The prophet received visions later that night-- the key to the dreams of Utah lied within the power of this idol, the ineffable power behind this symbol.

The Rally Churro it was named.

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This thread is will attempt to collect all rally churro honours posted in other threads. Continue to bless the game threads with your dedications, however we shall come here on Sundays to pay our respects.


Amen.

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The Churro Vision I had indicated playoffs was not enough let the miracles commence:

And lo the end time was nigh and I did lay eyes upon 3 seals. And the first seal was opened and I beheld a great beast within the key and the thunder and the sun(s) were blotted out and the pelicans did flee from before the presence of the beast. And all whose gaze fell upon the beast were struck with terror that did cause their very hearts to quake and did assail their inner most being and they realized there was no place for them. And the wingspan of the beast was five cubits and a span. And in his palm he wielded as it were a mighty churro.

And lo the second seal was opened and a great white horseman did ride forth upon the face of the court. And did cry out to all the unbelieving, to the unrepentant, the vile, the fair weather fan, those without faith - "Behold ye shall be cut down by the churro and made low. Ye shall weep and their shall be no solace, ye shall cry out but your cries shall not be heard for ye shall be left in a lake of fire and hell. Yea this is the second death."

And the third seal was opened and I beheld a great being of light who did rise up out of Georgia Tech and raised above his head as it were playoffs - and a might churro also. And he did cause the warriors to quake and the rockets did fall to their knees at his presence. And he returned all attempts at the rim whence they came and he did rain down with fire and with lightning and did crush all foes til they did utterly fail. And the heavens and the earth did roll forth at his feet and thus did commence a reign of one thousand years in the holy presence of the Larry O'Brien.
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dipship should really be at the head of these efforts, tbh. He's funnier and the originator. Dipship, please take over.
 
Well done dala.
@NOAS. Not here. Not now bro. Pick your bone with dala elswhere.

Good vibes only up in this bish.
[MENTION=848]dalamon[/MENTION] good job not taking the bait with a response.
 
Also guys, we need to ramp up our social media presence big time.

Start tweeting about the rally churro (takes photos from this thread) at every Jazz-associated handle on twitter!!

We got thousands of impressions last time around, and now our photoshops have honestly vastly improved.
 
Start submitting rally churro for "where are you watching segment."
 
We need to get a few churro winners. Maybe we could make a campaign for game 1 so they get flooded to the point where they have to give a nod.
 
Rally Churro screwed us in the Clippers game thread. Rally Churro is dead and you are about to hex us for the series.
 
Rally Churro screwed us in the Clippers game thread. Rally Churro is dead and you are about to hex us for the series.
Cry harder
 
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