What's new
By:

The funny thing kids say

bigb said:
Holy hell, my 6 year old is funny as ****. We were on a long drive and when he woke up his ears needed to pop. He said "hey, why are my ears broken? Wow, I can't even hear myself talk."

Just the other day my two year old wandered min to my bedroom while I was showering. When I got out he said "me spank you bum". He then hit my butt a few times. Then all the sudden he yells "ME SPANK YOU PEEPEE" and tried to hit that. I now lock the door at all times.
Click to expand...

Just wait until your 17 year old wants to spank your peepee. Then it's awkward. Right YB?
 
I still remember when my grade 5 health teacher taught me that most couples have sex for pleasure-rooted purposes, and not to have kids.

It completely baffled me (as I knew that couples would have sex to have kids), so I thought he was mistaken for the rest of the class, and I had several urges to correct him (but I never did, as I hated being that dude who corrects teachers-- still do).


It really didn't click with me until I started going through puberty myself, and realized that I had certain temptations with no desires in kids being the result.
 
I said this, not my kids but I was at the bank and parked between 4 suvs I told the teller "wow its an suv fest out there". Got some weird looks, I crack myself up.

Sent from the JazzFanz app
 
My mother-in-law has MS, and her condition has deteriorated significantly the last couple of years. My 11 year old son was asking my wife questions about MS, pretty reasonable questions for a kid his age. His final question was "Do they know the cure for it?" My wife told him that they are working on it, but don't have an answer just yet. He replied, with complete sincerity, "Why don't they just Google it?"
 
Bronco70 said:
My mother-in-law has MS, and her condition has deteriorated significantly the last couple of years. My 11 year old son was asking my wife questions about MS, pretty reasonable questions for a kid his age. His final question was "Do they know the cure for it?" My wife told him that they are working on it, but don't have an answer just yet. He replied, with complete sincerity, "Why don't they just Google it?"
Click to expand...

If it works for CarolinaJazz, why wouldn't it work for doctors?
 
kiri.de.carlos said:
A co-workers 3 yr old was doing a puzzle with grandma, grandma put a piece in the wrong spot and she responded with, "that's not where it goes you stupid a-hole" after grandma was done laughing she asked where she learned that the answer, "my dad calls my mom that daily."
Click to expand...

That one ain't funny.
 
LogGrad98 said:
Well my 12 year old asked what a condom was. We were eating dinner and she just kind of casually asked what a condom is. My other 2 kids at home are 19 and 17, with the 19 year old preparing to go on a mission. They both said "oh you don't want to ask dad THAT question". My wife and I tried delicately to explain what a condom is, trying to be kid and dinner table friendly. About half way through she had this disgusted look on her face. Then said "wait wait wait..." handed me a bottle of mustard and asked "I thought this was a condom". We both got real quiet while my other kids just busted up laughing. My wife just kind of whispered "no, that's a condiment". The 12 year old just said "oh" then went back to eating, giving me and my wife some weird looks the rest of dinner.

I can't imagine what she thought we were doing with the mustard.
Click to expand...

You gotta learn to ask why they came up with that question before answering. It saves a lot of hassle and fills you in on who/what is influencing them or what their thinking pattern is.
 
PearlWatson said:
You gotta learn to ask why they came up with that question before answering. It saves a lot of hassle and fills you in on who/what is influencing them or what their thinking pattern is.
Click to expand...

Finding out what's influencing my kid? That's like eating a hot dog after watching how it was made. Ain't nobody want to know that.
 
true story here...


a 3-4 year old boy who shall remain unidentified was very intrigued by his penis when it would become erect, and told his mother "When my penis gets big I call it my Magic Fairy Wand and if you say Abracadabra I can make your wish come true."

So a while later the mom is hosting her book group - a group of women sitting in the living room chatting - when the little boy comes running into the room grabbing his crotch and calls to his mom "Mom, make a wish and say Abracadabra. Hurry!"

Naturally, after her son left the room the mom had to explain what the fuss was all about. Too, too funny.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.

Share this page
Back
Top