Search results

I know a guy who does a presentation on foods and how to grow a healthy garden. It is really eye opening to see the information he has. He talks a lot about how the consumer food market is owned by certain companies who don't care how nutrient deficient a crop is, or how their chemicals are...

That was awesome. I found myself on page 9 with 501 posts!!! Man, no wonder I can never get anything done.

I would break into my dentists office and od on the laughing gas. I really can't think of a better way to go. There was some crazy old guy that lit himself on fire on the bullet train here in Japan a couple of weeks ago. If I remember correctly one other person died and like 20 others were...

Hey, I am already in Japan... I guess this doesn't say much for me.

Thanks for the suggestions. There are 6 of us (including 2 small children). 6 hours in an airport with small children ain't no good time for nobody. I just can't think of any other business where someone can purchase one thing and have something else delivered and the business is like, "Well...

So we booked a trip to Japan through Kayak a couple of months ago. About a month after we booked it we got an email saying that they've moved our departure flight from SLC up from 10:30 am to 7:05 am. I was pretty upset because this means we have to leave our house at 4:00 in the morning now...

The efficiency expert The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. “You don’t want to try these techniques at home.” “Why not?” asked someone from the back of the audience. “I watched my wife’s routine at breakfast for years,” the expert explained. “She made lots of...

Salesman extraordinaire ‘Now many customers did you serve today?” the manager asked a new salesman. “One.” “Only one.” “How much was the sale?” “$58, 334.00” Flabbergasted the manager asked him to explain. The boy said, “First I sold the man a fishhook. Then I sold him a rod and a reel...

I went to the store the other day, and was there for only about five minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, “Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?” He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a...

Norwegian Firefighters One dark night outside a small town in Minnesota, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around. When the volunteer fire fighters appeared...

Flag Pole A group of managers is trying to calculate the height of a flag pole. They try to measure its height by lining up their thumbs and then turning the thumb 90 degrees and marking a spot on the ground. Then they try to use its shadow and trig functions, but no luck. An engineer comes by...

Elderly Golfers.... Three elderly golfers are walking down the fairway. "Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old, "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time nothing happens." "Ah, that's nothing," said the 70-year-old. "When you're 70, you don't have a bowel...

Car starting A little boy was caught swearing by his teacher. “Jeffrey,” she said, “you shouldn’t use that kind of language. Where did you hear it?” “My daddy said it,” he responded. “Well, it doesn’t matter,” explained the teacher, “you don’t even know what it means.” “I do, so!” Jeffrey...

One last one: Dear Dad A FATHER PASSING BY HIS SON’S BEDROOM WAS ASTONISHED TO SEE THAT THE BED WAS NICELY MADE AND EVERYTHING WAS PICKED UP. THEN HE SAW AN ENVELOPE PROPPED UP PROMINENTLY ON THE CENTER OF THE BED. IT WAS ADDRESSED “DAD”. WITH THE WORST PREMONITION, HE OPENED THE ENVELOPE AND...

Dear Abby, My husband is not happy with my mood swings. The other day, he bought me a mood ring so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I’m in a good mood it turns green. When I’m in a bad mood it leaves a big ugly red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time the bum will buy me a diamond...

Bread Truck A guy was sitting in an airplane when another guy took the seat beside him. The new guy was a wreck, pale, hands shaking, biting his nails and moaning in fear. “Hey, pal, what’s the matter?” said the first guy. “I’ve been transferred to Los Angeles, California,” he answered...

Blonde Joke A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight From LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The...

Biker gang A guy arrives at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted. St. Peter is reading through the Big Book to see if the guy’s name is written in it. After several minutes, St. Peter closes the book, furrows his brow, and says, “I’m sorry, I don’t see your name written in the Book.” “How...

All Lawyers Are Jerks Having many legal problems, including a divorce, a man had become thoroughly disgusted with lawyers in general. One evening in a cafe, the conversation got around to his pet peeve and he started “venting.” “All lawyers are jerks,” he loudly proclaimed. Another man...

I have shared a couple of stories that my dad gave me on here before. Here is another one, it has some religious overtones so if you are offended then please feel free to skip it. :) My Daddy is the Pilot Years ago, I was enthralled as I listened to a pastor who for several years had...