larryselbows
Banned
Any of you guys got any good ones? I'm running out of material here.
Facebook Status Updates
- Thread starter larryselbows
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C l u t c H 385
Banned
um...it's YOUR status. what do you mean 'good ones?'
larryselbows
Banned
Blast! Once again, I look like an idiot on JazzFanz!
Archie Moses
Well-Known Member
<----- Now with 25% more sexiness.........daughter tested cougar mother approved.
My sex drive isn't too bad..... There's a strip club just a half a mile from here.
How awkward do you think Prince William's bachelor party is going to be when he realizes he's stuffing pictures of his Grandma into a strippers thong?
Has just been kidnapped by a fat man in a red suit and put in a bag, ALRIGHT! FESS UP! Who put me on their Christmas list?
Cartoon week is almost over. Next week is "Cure World Hunger Week." All women have to post a pic of themselves in a bikini. Your eye candy will
help feed thousands across the globe, and such a minimal sacrifice. In fact, the more minimal the better ;-)
At what age do you tell your highway that it's adopted?
My life would make one really good Soap Opera, or at least four really bad country songs.
was apparently misinformed about the meaning of 'cyber' Monday. *zips pants* My apologies to all of my co-workers.
Facebook is like jail you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know.
I'm tired. I just finished painting all the rocks in my yard white...Just in case my neighbor wants a snow ball fight later this week.
It's normal for kids to play 'doctor.' Start worrying if you find them playing 'airport security.'
The problem with the girl of my dreams is that she's never around when I'm awake.
My sex drive isn't too bad..... There's a strip club just a half a mile from here.
How awkward do you think Prince William's bachelor party is going to be when he realizes he's stuffing pictures of his Grandma into a strippers thong?
Has just been kidnapped by a fat man in a red suit and put in a bag, ALRIGHT! FESS UP! Who put me on their Christmas list?
Cartoon week is almost over. Next week is "Cure World Hunger Week." All women have to post a pic of themselves in a bikini. Your eye candy will
help feed thousands across the globe, and such a minimal sacrifice. In fact, the more minimal the better ;-)
At what age do you tell your highway that it's adopted?
My life would make one really good Soap Opera, or at least four really bad country songs.
was apparently misinformed about the meaning of 'cyber' Monday. *zips pants* My apologies to all of my co-workers.
Facebook is like jail you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know.
I'm tired. I just finished painting all the rocks in my yard white...Just in case my neighbor wants a snow ball fight later this week.
It's normal for kids to play 'doctor.' Start worrying if you find them playing 'airport security.'
The problem with the girl of my dreams is that she's never around when I'm awake.
Archie Moses
Well-Known Member
Dude, you're blunt. A simple, "hehepeepeecaca" would have been much appreciated, you know?
Archie Moses
Well-Known Member
Every time a T.S.A. Agent touches your junk... the terrorist win.
I'm a good boyfriend..I always talk to her, play with her, touch her buttons...I definitely turn her on... I love you Xbox.
In addition to being able to click "Like", Facebook needs a "That's what she said." option
Dont tell me the sky is the limit when there are damn footprints on the moon.
I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.
<---- is helping senior Citizens...one Cougar at a time.....
It's is an awkward moment when an emo orders a Happy Meal at McDonalds.
Yeah....Hi, I'm watching your commercial cash for gold and you just showed a woman selling her wedding ring for $500. No, I don't want to sell gold, I want to meet her. She's hot and we know her marriage isn't working.
Ladies, my lost and found box is getting full. So, if you're missing an earring, silk scarves, lingerie or a prosthetic leg....let me know
Today, I was rejected by a girl when she told me she is not ready to date. We met on a dating website.
Hi. Does anyone know if it's possible to a background that would essentially turn my computer monitor into a mirror? Scanning a mirror doesn't work.
I'm a good boyfriend..I always talk to her, play with her, touch her buttons...I definitely turn her on... I love you Xbox.
In addition to being able to click "Like", Facebook needs a "That's what she said." option
Dont tell me the sky is the limit when there are damn footprints on the moon.
I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.
<---- is helping senior Citizens...one Cougar at a time.....
It's is an awkward moment when an emo orders a Happy Meal at McDonalds.
Yeah....Hi, I'm watching your commercial cash for gold and you just showed a woman selling her wedding ring for $500. No, I don't want to sell gold, I want to meet her. She's hot and we know her marriage isn't working.
Ladies, my lost and found box is getting full. So, if you're missing an earring, silk scarves, lingerie or a prosthetic leg....let me know
Today, I was rejected by a girl when she told me she is not ready to date. We met on a dating website.
Hi. Does anyone know if it's possible to a background that would essentially turn my computer monitor into a mirror? Scanning a mirror doesn't work.
Hitman
Well-Known Member
Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn't mine. But if you stopped posting about your emo life and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You're on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like. What's on your keyboard? Back to my status. It's on a profile with those games you like. Look again. This status is now liked. Anything is possible when your status is like mine and not like yours. I'm on the internet.
^LOL, that's a good one!
unluckyseventeen
Well-Known Member
Aren't updates supposed to be related to your life? If you're asking "what should I make my facebook update say" aren't you kind of missing the point?