News That Makes Me Laugh

[JazzGal]

Now for some lighthearted news . . .

http://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/more-sports/michael-phelps-is-going-to-race-a-shark-seriously/ar-BBCMnvL

Michael Phelps is Going to Race a Shark. Seriously.

When you've won 23 gold medal's there's really nothing left to do but race a shark.

The Discovery Channel announced Friday that Olympian Michael Phelps will take on the dangerous animal during the network's very popular, Shark Week.

There aren't many specifics yet, but here's the information from a release sent by Discovery:

"They are one of the fastest and most efficient predators on the planet: Sharks. He is our greatest champion to ever get in the water: Michael Phelps. 39 world records. 23 Olympic golds. But he has one competition left to win. An event so monumental no one has ever attempted it before. The world’s most decorated athlete takes on the ocean’s most efficient predator: Phelps V Shark - the race is on! Produced by Peacock Productions."

What kind of shark will it be? How close will Phelps be to the shark? Will the shark be in a Speedo? So many questions still need to be answered about this monumental event.

The race will air on Sunday, July 23 at 8 p.m., ET.

What news item made you laugh today?

 

[Rubashov]

Now for some lighthearted news . . .

http://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/more-sports/michael-phelps-is-going-to-race-a-shark-seriously/ar-BBCMnvL



What news item made you laugh today?

Just saw T.Rump talk about Cuba, made me chuckle, hypocritical arsehole.

 

[moevillini]

the one about people thinking chocolate milk comes from brown cows

 

[Rubashov]

the one about people thinking chocolate milk comes from brown cows

I didn't know about the chocolate milk but brown cows do make about the worst chocolate moose I've ever had.

 

[franklin]

the one about people thinking chocolate milk comes from brown cows

The people who actually think the 7% weren't drunks trying to be funny...

 

[Gameface]

The people who actually think the 7% weren't drunks trying to be funny...

The headline I read just said 7% of people. I wondered what percentage of our population is under 5 years of age?

 

[moevillini]

The headline I read just said 7% of people. I wondered what percentage of our population is under 5 years of age?

the story I read specifically said "adults"

it also mentioned that a lot of children don't realize that all vegetables are plants

I remember when my daughter was in first grade many years ago (like 25 or so), the class moms came in to help the kids cook a Thanksgiving "feast". The menu included mashed potatoes and we used whole potatoes that we peeled, boiled and mashed. Several of the children could not believe that those were potatoes - they thought potatoes were white flakes that come in a box.

Now our neighborhood school has a garden that is part of the curriculum for the younger grades. They grow tomatoes, peppers, beans, carrots and a few other things. The school where I tutor in the inner city has a hen house and a small vegetable garden as well. The kids (boys in grades 5-8) learn to cook with stuff they've grown in their gardens and eggs from their hens. All pretty cool.

 

[moevillini]

just came across this news item in the "Random Question" thread, it's still funny...

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2017/05/22/sinkhole-forms-in-front-of-mar-a-lago-metaphors-pour-in/?utm_term=.401278321269

A large sinkhole has formed in front of Mar-a-Lago, the Palm Beach estate belonging to President Trump.

Town officials posted a run-of-the-mill advisory about the sinkhole Monday morning:

"A 4' x 4' sinkhole has formed on Southern Boulevard directly in front of Mar-a-Lago," the traffic alert read. "It appears to be in the vicinity of the newly installed water main. West Palm Beach Utilities distribution crews have secured the area and will most likely need to do some exploratory excavation today."

But where utility workers saw a repair project, the Internet saw a giant opening — for metaphors...

 

[moevillini]

REAL NEWS that's about FAKE NEWS is always funny!

http://www.foxnews.com/travel/2017/06/28/fake-time-magazine-covers-featuring-donald-trump-found-hanging-in-several-trump-golf-clubs.html

President Trump might want to take his crusade against “fake news” to his own golf clubs.

According to an investigation by The Washington Post, several Trump-owned golf clubs in the U.S., Ireland and Scotland had been displaying fake Time magazine covers featuring Trump’s photo.

Since the story broke on Tuesday, a reporter with NJ.com also claims to have spotted one at the Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, N.J.

Time has since asked the Trump Organization to remove the framed magazine covers from his properties, reports the Post.

The fake covers were first discovered by a reporter during a visit to one of Trump’s private clubs. The eagle-eyed visitor noticed several discrepancies between a traditional Time cover and the fake, namely: the lack of a thin white border inside the red border; the exclamation points after two of the cover lines; and the headlines aligned on the right of the page, rather than the top...

 

[LogGrad98]

the one about people thinking chocolate milk comes from brown cows

It doesn't?

 

[moevillini]

I didn't know about the chocolate milk but brown cows do make about the worst chocolate moose I've ever had.

well, if it's chocolate mousse you want you probably need to find a brown moose

most are sort of grey - that doesn't sound like it would be such a good flavor

though why anybody thinks Grey Goose would be good is a little confounding

 

[moevillini]

this is especially for JG, the originator of this thread

https://www.wsj.com/articles/why-geezers-have-taken-over-professional-tennis-1498906804

Why Geezers Have Taken Over Professional Tennis

For the first time in the game’s modern era, the top five players in the world—and the top five seeds at Wimbledon—are over 30 years old
By Matthew Futterman
July 1, 2017 7:00 a.m. ET

When Andy Murray and Novak Djokovic both hit “The Big Three-Oh” earlier this year, it was truly a senior moment for men’s tennis. For the first time in the game’s modern era, the five best players in the world—and the five top seeds at Wimbledon—are all over 30 years old....

you need to log-in for the rest of the article, sorry...
but you get the drift