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So, nah. . . . guys listen up. . . . .

count your blessings if your wife doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, and likes to shop. . . . that is, if she parks the car first. . . . .before going into the store.

Is there some story behind this or are you razzing?
 
That is decidedly no fun.

I've changed a few diapers, and I know what you mean. My wife, however, being the first of some 14 children. . . .42 if you count the extended "family" as she does. . . . was an expert teacher, however.
I give her credit because she didn't tell me "No that not's how to do" and do it over again. . . .Twins can make even pros melt down and take any help they can get. . . .
 
Is there some story behind this or are you razzing?

yes, there is a story behind that.

The alcoholic star, on the downslide of fame, drove her car right into a fast food outlet, a Hires or something. . . .

what is really sad about that is that it seems she was haunted from her youth with some kind of lack of self-assurance, which is what actually made her such a sympathetic sort of girl. None of that. . . . for lack of a better term. . .. cockiness. . . and self-importance that so often goes with beauty. . . .or talent of any kind.

And, no. As in NO. My wife is not alcoholic, has a rather good set of coordination/reflex skills, and could probably win the Grand Prix in her van, and has not had an accident. . . . yet. . . well, except for the drunk who plowed into her side when she was stopped at a stoplight. And she does it while talking and gesticulating for emphasis with literally both pointy fingers at the same time.

knock on wood.

I regularly tell her to slow down. Sometimes I insist on taking the wheel, and then drive even faster, hoping to ditch the evil spirits. I figure if angels can't fly that fast, the imps can't either. . . .

I had to throw that in, because since she maxed out on speeding tickets a couple of years ago, forcing me to seek refuge by dropping her from my insurance policy. she hasn't had another ticket, while I got one, and have been "let go" by two officers who could have given me tickets. . . .

with her, it's the "immortal illusion" of youth, with me it's the absentmindedness of age plus the cognitive dissonance involved in driving a good car instead of my old 93 Nissan PU that won't go eighty
 
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You were let go for speeding on two separate occassions? How fast were you going in those instances?

It wasn't seven mph.

I've also gotten tickets maybe five times where I took the ticket in court, and won. Three times I paid the fine anyway. Ya wanna prosecute the judges too?

I didn't say anything but to be grateful for the officer, and admitted the speed I saw when I saw the cop and looked at my speedometer. With me, as I said, it's occasional. The cops know me and usually see me driving slower than the speedlimit. Downhill and tailwind and new, good, smooth vehicles foil my sense of judgment for a few minutes sometimes. Besides, I religiously take every ticket to the court and do public penance for my sins, at the expense of methodical revenue operationss that depend on massive numbers of uncontested tickets to make a dollar for the government. . . . .

the officer makes a realistic judgment call about effective law enforcement. If a red light and a conversation will save my life, and possibly a cow's life, from my forgetful recklessness, I'd say they're doing very well. . . . I also make a point to say "thanks" to the officer first thing. And I will remember the event and check my speedometer every time of I think of it.

Every citizen should do as I do. It's your public duty.

oh, I know there are enforcement officers out there on a mission to lay down the law, who would make it a point to string me up to the full extent of the law. Is that the kind of person you prefer???
 
I just use cruise control most of the time. Worry-free driving and better mileage. Win-win.
 
I just use cruise control most of the time. Worry-free driving and better mileage. Win-win.

I don't trust new-fangled contraptions. I like the old trucks with standard transmission. If you're not involved in running the machine, maybe the machine is running you. All I usually see is elk, deer, antelope. . . maybe two or three other vehicles because I mostly drive at night, and make the headlights my focus and calculate my reaction time plus stopping distance. That keeps me under the speed limit pretty good. Daytime drives I look at the scenery too much, and forget to look at the speedometer.

We get a lot of wind, lots of 40 mph wind. If it's a headwind it'll cut my speed down by 10 mph because it whistles through the baling wire I use to tie the fenders in place, and everything rattles. If's a tailwind it's plus ten miles because it help push the truck along, and the noise is less. . . . You should see the look I get when I take my truck in for the safety inspection. . . . .

And did I ever tell anyone I make up good stories?????
 
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