Stupid Pet Peeves

[LogGrad98]

I'll respectfully disagree. I do have a kid (only two months old) but I'll brush that aside as she's so young and so you're right, I don't have a full appreciation for the time and energy it will take to tend to and raise multiple children once they're a bit older.

That said, I find people, in general, to make excuses for why **** doesn't get done. Listen, I don't need a 100% clean house all the time. I wasn't saying that. In my particular case that I think alluded to, I would clean the whole house and 30 minutes later, MsSerp would leave crumbs all over the countertops. They'd still be there the next day, the next night. They take five seconds to wipe off into the trash. It's ****ed up. Sorry but it is. If someone is going to put forth all the energy to clean the whole house, have some respect for it. **** like that, basic disrespect or common courtesy is one thing I was mentioning that would bother me. There needs to be at least semi-equitable effort in the relationship imo.

Since yoy don't have to deal with multiple kids yet I'll give you a pass this time and just say this. More often than not its not about making excuses, it's simply about not enough hours in the day for one person.

 

[Gameface]

There seems to be a trend here.

I work more hours than my wife and yet I cook far more meals (but to be fair, I like cooking) and when I do they are typically from scratch and fairly elaborate. Since pretty early in our relationship I wash my clothes and she washes hers, but I've been the one washing my kids clothes the last several years. I do the dishes about 9:1, and I got tired of it and having heaps of dirty dishes waiting for me when I finish my work week of 12hr shifts so now I've got my kid doing them on the days I work. I deal with all car issues. I do all the yard work. I deal with all garbage. I change the ****ing cat box most often, even though I really try to let go until she gives up and does it, she's the one who wanted the damn cat in the first place.

I really don't care except that I don't ever task her with chores or anything else but for some reason she thinks it's okay when I have days off to give me a list of honey-dos. I have tried to overcome my passive aggressive tendencies, but there are still plenty of times I say sure, or I'll see if can get to it when I have zero intention of doing anything on the list.

 

[moevillini]

LOL....

here's a perspective from the other side

a (relatively minor) peeve:
When I cook dinner and my husband comes home and decides he wants something else. Now that the kids are out of the house and it's just the two of us, I almost never cook, unless I've cleared it with him in the morning.

But there were many times, even when the kids were young, when I'd have something all prepared (or at least underway) and he'd come in, ask what's for dinner, express some disappointment at the answer, and suggest either going out or getting take-out. Typically it would occur when he'd get a craving for something in the middle of the day, and there'd be no talking him out of it.
He'd always say (whatever I was making): "That tastes better the next day anyhow"

After a while, I'd learn to watch for certain clues in the morning that might indicate that he already had something in mind for supper and call him at work in the middle of the day before I'd plan to start cooking. That didn't completely solve the issue, but it did help.

As far as house keeping goes, he does nothing. He did cut the grass when we first moved into the house but when the lawn mower went kaput, we hired a service. He's always been ok with our having a cleaning lady so that helps too. Plus he's not fussy and can usually live with a bit of clutter, and if anything, tends to get annoyed when I complain about his stuff lying around.

I was pretty much a stay-at-home mom for years, though I did a bit of occasional free-lance work, and also a lot of volunteering at the schools and in the community so I was out of the house quite a bit. And I always loved spending time with the kids and taking them to the zoo, museums, and all sorts of "field trips" - so that kept us busy.

 

[Gameface]

LOL....

here's a perspective from the other side

a (relatively minor) peeve:
When I cook dinner and my husband comes home and decides he wants something else. Now that the kids are out of the house and it's just the two of us, I almost never cook, unless I've cleared it with him in the morning.

But there were many times, even when the kids were young, when I'd have something all prepared (or at least underway) and he'd come in, ask what's for dinner, express some disappointment at the answer, and suggest either going out or getting take-out. Typically it would occur when he'd get a craving for something in the middle of the day, and there'd be no talking him out of it.
He'd always say (whatever I was making): "That tastes better the next day anyhow"

After a while, I'd learn to watch for certain clues in the morning that might indicate that he already had something in mind for supper and call him at work in the middle of the day before I'd plan to start cooking. That didn't completely solve the issue, but it did help.

As far as house keeping goes, he does nothing. He did cut the grass when we first moved into the house but when the lawn mower went kaput, we hired a service. He's always been ok with our having a cleaning lady so that helps too. Plus he's not fussy and can usually live with a bit of clutter, and if anything, tends to get annoyed when I complain about his stuff lying around.

I was pretty much a stay-at-home mom for years, though I did a bit of occasional free-lance work, and also a lot of volunteering at the schools and in the community so I was out of the house quite a bit. And I always loved spending time with the kids and taking them to the zoo, museums, and all sorts of "field trips" - so that kept us busy.

The funny thing is, if my wife posted her pet peeves about me, it would probably be pretty damned brutal. I imagine I'm pretty far above average when it comes to being difficult to live with. So I let **** go, for the most part.

 

[moevillini]

The funny thing is, if my wife posted her pet peeves about me, it would probably be pretty damned brutal. I imagine I'm pretty far above average when it comes to being difficult to live with. So I let **** go, for the most part.

guess I neglected to mention this was just the tip of the iceberg...

:wink:


and I'm pretty sure at this point in time his list for me would be quite long - - I think he was able to cut me a bit more slack when the kids were around and I was busy with them and their activities in addition to household chores, work and other activities - but now, not so much - - plus, as he's gotten older, he loses patience more quickly than 10 - 15 years ago.

 

[franklin]

I'll respectfully disagree. I do have a kid (only two months old) but I'll brush that aside as she's so young and so you're right, I don't have a full appreciation for the time and energy it will take to tend to and raise multiple children once they're a bit older.

There's an old saying "Wait until you have a second kid and become a real parent". I thought this was the most jackass, insensitive thing to say until I had a second. One kid you can give enough attention to satisfy them for an hour or two so you can get some stuff done. With two, it seems like they constantly need attention, need to get fed, need to potty, break something, etc.

It gotten to the point lately that I've flat out started ignoring my older two when I needed a mental break. Our infant was sick and screamed non-stop for two straight weeks. On top of that my other two both got sick at different times and kept me up several nights. Breast feeding always keeps my wife up.

That's how I imagine a stay at home mother's weeks often are. Constant stress, constantly having to do something for a child, constant 24-7 slavery to your kids needs and no time for yourself on top of lack of sleep and not even being able to shower for ten minutes in the morning.

That said, I find people, in general, to make excuses for why **** doesn't get done. Listen, I don't need a 100% clean house all the time. I wasn't saying that. In my particular case that I think alluded to, I would clean the whole house and 30 minutes later, MsSerp would leave crumbs all over the countertops. They'd still be there the next day, the next night. They take five seconds to wipe off into the trash. It's ****ed up. Sorry but it is. If someone is going to put forth all the energy to clean the whole house, have some respect for it. **** like that, basic disrespect or common courtesy is one thing I was mentioning that would bother me. There needs to be at least semi-equitable effort in the relationship imo.

I actually agree with this 100%.

The bolded part is my pet peeve. I almost always leave the house cleaner than I find it and the very next day it's wrecked.

My wife is an air head though (the type who leaves her keys in the front door, lights on when she leaves rooms, doesn't shut the door all the way when she leaves the house, loses everything all the damn time, texts me to complain I locked her out when she kissed me goodbye at the door and then went inside while I left) so a lot of our headbanging is me expecting her to do simple things that she just doesn't think of for some reason. If you open a cupboard then close it; if you eat at the couch that's fine but put your damn plate in the dishwasher. She gets distracted and leaves these things for later while she feeds the baby or whatever and then it slips her mind, entirely, for several days apparently. If you have an answer to that then I'm all ears.

 

[franklin]

a (relatively minor) peeve:
When I cook dinner and my husband comes home and decides he wants something else. Now that the kids are out of the house and it's just the two of us, I almost never cook, unless I've cleared it with him in the morning.

But there were many times, even when the kids were young, when I'd have something all prepared (or at least underway) and he'd come in, ask what's for dinner, express some disappointment at the answer, and suggest either going out or getting take-out. Typically it would occur when he'd get a craving for something in the middle of the day, and there'd be no talking him out of it.
He'd always say (whatever I was making): "That tastes better the next day anyhow"

I'd find that pretty offensive.

I need your advice on this: I get up at 6-6:30 and get home between 7:20 and 8. I usually don't want to eat dinner but my wife is insistent on cooking. I literally had to tell her over the phone at least 500 times over the years that I don't care what she cooks and if she had no ideas or didn't want to then don't worry about it. It started annoying the hell out of me on the drive home, you know those phone calls that begin with a sigh, have a nagging-depressing tone to them inquiring what I want her to cook me for dinner, empty spaces for moments when she wouldn't respond when I didn't tell her what she wanted to hear, then an angry tone that I wanted to get off the phone and drive if she wasn't going to keep the conversation fluid. How could I get this threw her head I kept thinking, and finally told her about 30 times in 30 days to never ever cook me anything for dinner. Cook what she wants and make plenty. If I'm hungry then I'll eat it and if not I'll take leftovers.

I don't get it. Is this something I'm insulting her with? She always acted like it was work for her and made it sound as if she was doing me a favor (I don't buy that one bit, but whatever I'm sure she wanted the gratitude if she was going to cook anyway).

 

[moevillini]

I'd find that pretty offensive.

sometimes it would bug me, and if he would have requested that I cook something else, I'd be pissed - but since he was suggesting we go out to eat, I wouldn't get too upset about it. We have several decent restaurants within a couple blocks of home, so it wasn't a big production or anything like that. And typically it would get me off the hook for dinner the next day.

I need your advice on this: I get up at 6-6:30 and get home between 7:20 and 8. I usually don't want to eat dinner but my wife is insistent on cooking. I literally had to tell her over the phone at least 500 times over the years that I don't care what she cooks and if she had no ideas or didn't want to then don't worry about it. It started annoying the hell out of me on the drive home, you know those phone calls that begin with a sigh, have a nagging-depressing tone to them inquiring what I want her to cook me for dinner, empty spaces for moments when she wouldn't respond when I didn't tell her what she wanted to hear, then an angry tone that I wanted to get off the phone and drive if she wasn't going to keep the conversation fluid. How could I get this threw her head I kept thinking, and finally told her about 30 times in 30 days to never ever cook me anything for dinner. Cook what she wants and make plenty. If I'm hungry then I'll eat it and if not I'll take leftovers.

I don't get it. Is this something I'm insulting her with? She always acted like it was work for her and made it sound as if she was doing me a favor (I don't buy that one bit, but whatever I'm sure she wanted the gratitude if she was going to cook anyway).

Well, I would say perhaps she needs to find something to keep her busy that will make her feel she'd rather be doing that than cooking. (kids activities, a hobby, a club, volunteer work, whatever it would be)

For us, often times my husband would either not eat a thing during the day and come home starving - or there'd be a party or some event at work and he'd have eaten a lot and not be hungry at all. So if he'd tell me ahead of time, I'd know what to expect. Maybe you could work something out like that, where she knows (or at least thinks...) you'll be having a big lunch at work and she won't expect you to be hungry when you come home.

Do you have kids, so she has to have supper for them anyhow? That could be a factor.

Would she be adverse to the idea of you bringing something home for supper? There are tons of choices, restaurant carry-out or a rotisserie chicken and salad from the grocery store, or sub sandwiches, Chipotle, chinese carry-out or pizza, etc. though with your hours, that might be too late if your kids go to bed early.

But in general, it sounds as though she thinks of this as a way for her to feel useful and productive, so I'd consider my first comment as a place to begin. But that's just from my own personal experience since if I wasn't so busy with other things I wanted to do, I might have felt more that I was obligated to cook dinner for the family.

 

[8]

Lol married folk

 

[fishonjazz]

I work more hours than my wife and yet I cook far more meals (but to be fair, I like cooking) and when I do they are typically from scratch and fairly elaborate.

I don't ever task her with chores or anything else

Will you marry me?

 

[LogGrad98]

Neither my wife nor I like to cook, so we eat out way more than we should, hence the fact that I am a bit larger (read: a hell of a lot larger) than I would like to be. This is a compelling reason for me to find a second wife that can and likes to cook. I can work, my wife (#1) can clean and my wife (#2) can cook. We figure the rest out later.

FWIW my wife LOVES this idea.

 

[bigb]

I hear ya. No judging bro. I just have no patience for ******** like that.

My wife is more a result of her childhood than anything else. Her mom never cleaned much, was/is very unorganized, etc. Now my wife is that way. For her, she simply can't see a mess and envision how to clean it, so she chooses to do nothing with it. I can walk into a room, take in everything there and within two minutes, have a very clear cut idea of how to put things away, etc. She gets intimidated by it, I just go into action.

 

[bigb]

Neither my wife nor I like to cook, so we eat out way more than we should, hence the fact that I am a bit larger (read: a hell of a lot larger) than I would like to be. This is a compelling reason for me to find a second wife that can and likes to cook. I can work, my wife (#1) can clean and my wife (#2) can cook. We figure the rest out later.

FWIW my wife LOVES this idea.

Wouldn't it be easier/cheaper to just hire a cleaning service like Daisy Maids? A hell of a lot less nagging.

 

[bigb]

LOL....

here's a perspective from the other side

a (relatively minor) peeve:
When I cook dinner and my husband comes home and decides he wants something else. Now that the kids are out of the house and it's just the two of us, I almost never cook, unless I've cleared it with him in the morning.

But there were many times, even when the kids were young, when I'd have something all prepared (or at least underway) and he'd come in, ask what's for dinner, express some disappointment at the answer, and suggest either going out or getting take-out. Typically it would occur when he'd get a craving for something in the middle of the day, and there'd be no talking him out of it.
He'd always say (whatever I was making): "That tastes better the next day anyhow"

After a while, I'd learn to watch for certain clues in the morning that might indicate that he already had something in mind for supper and call him at work in the middle of the day before I'd plan to start cooking. That didn't completely solve the issue, but it did help.

As far as house keeping goes, he does nothing. He did cut the grass when we first moved into the house but when the lawn mower went kaput, we hired a service. He's always been ok with our having a cleaning lady so that helps too. Plus he's not fussy and can usually live with a bit of clutter, and if anything, tends to get annoyed when I complain about his stuff lying around.

I was pretty much a stay-at-home mom for years, though I did a bit of occasional free-lance work, and also a lot of volunteering at the schools and in the community so I was out of the house quite a bit. And I always loved spending time with the kids and taking them to the zoo, museums, and all sorts of "field trips" - so that kept us busy.

I would consider that extremely rude. No matter what my wife makes for dinner, I eat it without showing my disdain for it. It doesn't matter if it's frozen corn dogs for the third night in a row or a meal that got ruined/burnt, down the gullet it goes. I recognize she put forth an effort while dealing with a basketball team of kids (likely screaming/crying) and deserves the reward of me showing appreciation. Plus, I want to help my kids learn to eat what's in front if them, regardless of what it is.

 

[Scat]

My biggest pet peeve of late if people bringing their dogs to the grocery store. And even worse, store employees looking at the dogs and playing with them. In one instance there was a dumb stoner looking dude that had 6-8 month old lab puppy in the cart. The dog was filthy and had mud all over it's paws. My food goes in that cart and there should not be some poop eating, ball licking, dirt digging, fur shedding animal in the cart that people put food in. I don't care how much of a family member you think your dog is, THEY DO NOT BELONG IN GROCERY STORES!!

 

[LogGrad98]

My biggest pet peeve of late if people bringing their dogs to the grocery store. And even worse, store employees looking at the dogs and playing with them. In one instance there was a dumb stoner looking dude that had 6-8 month old lab puppy in the cart. The dog was filthy and had mud all over it's paws. My food goes in that cart and there should not be some poop eating, ball licking, dirt digging, fur shedding animal in the cart that people put food in. I don't care how much of a family member you think your dog is, THEY DO NOT BELONG IN GROCERY STORES!!

Don't go to europe.

 

[Gameface]

My biggest pet peeve of late if people bringing their dogs to the grocery store. And even worse, store employees looking at the dogs and playing with them. In one instance there was a dumb stoner looking dude that had 6-8 month old lab puppy in the cart. The dog was filthy and had mud all over it's paws. My food goes in that cart and there should not be some poop eating, ball licking, dirt digging, fur shedding animal in the cart that people put food in. I don't care how much of a family member you think your dog is, THEY DO NOT BELONG IN GROCERY STORES!!

Completely with you on this one. I like animals but I don't need to be around them in places where there is food

 

[franklin]

My biggest pet peeve of late if people bringing their dogs to the grocery store. And even worse, store employees looking at the dogs and playing with them. In one instance there was a dumb stoner looking dude that had 6-8 month old lab puppy in the cart. The dog was filthy and had mud all over it's paws. My food goes in that cart and there should not be some poop eating, ball licking, dirt digging, fur shedding animal in the cart that people put food in. I don't care how much of a family member you think your dog is, THEY DO NOT BELONG IN GROCERY STORES!!

We would make a law to euthanize them but our pet shelters are full so we wouldn't have a place to transplant the innocent animals.

 

[franklin]

Don't go to europe.

Calm down, Columbus. It can't be that bad.

 

[Siro]

I have decided that being in a relationship isn't for me. I'm never happy after the initial high is gone, and my 6 years of marriage were some of the worst in my life. It is sad because I really like kids and would have liked to raise a couple, but I think I like singlehood more. This thread just confirms that I made the right choice.