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Toilet Paper

Jamezz said:
No seriously, as a kid that was raised in a small town of a rural area in Spain there were times I was too far from home to rush back to take a dump. So I had to use whatever was at hand to wipe my butt.
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So I thought Spain was more civilized, even back in the dark ages. All those Roman baths and magnificent architecture, and you're still using rocks, grass, leaves, and sand to wipe?

Please be a good boy scout here when you go off the trail. You can always scape a little dirt over your pile.

Also, I hope the new toilet gizmo has about a five year trajectory to becoming the standard toilet.
 
babe said:
So I thought Spain was more civilized, even back in the dark ages. All those Roman baths and magnificent architecture, and you're still using rocks, grass, leaves, and sand to wipe?

Please be a good boy scout here when you go off the trail. You can always scape a little dirt over your pile.

Also, I hope the new toilet gizmo has about a five year trajectory to becoming the standard toilet.
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Right in Zaragoza (my hometown). Try taking a dump there and see what happens.
 
The Thriller said:
Weird question.

I'm very particular about what kind of TP I use. I'm all about the double ply white and comfy stuff. Unfortunately, the job I work at uses the thinnest, hardest, most transparent stuff there is. It's awful. You wipe and 45 mins later ya have to go back and wipe again because it's so damn itchy. Then you have to go back again and by that time you're bleeding. I talked to a coworker recently about this and he uses baby wipes.

I'm not a huge fan as they feel weird on my butt. Besides, I don't want to carry them every time I need to use the throne.

Obviously, I can't be the only one suffering from this type of cheap crappy toilet paper. What do y'all do? Wrap it around your hand a million times to give yourself some padding? Douse the paper in water? Bring your own TP? What kind?

Have you changed your wiping techniques? I've always been a come in from the right side and wipe up towards the lower back wiper.
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Nice topic.

I was in E. Europe shortly after it opened up. One sure way to tell whether you crossed over into former communist areas (other than the prevalence of Trabants on the road) was the quality of toilet paper. In the formerly communist areas, you could almost still see the wood pulp in it. It was that bad.
 
jimmy eat jazz said:
Nice topic.
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I was in E. Europe shortly after it opened up. One sure way to tell whether you crossed over into former communist areas (other than the prevalence of Trabants on the road) was the quality of toilet paper. In the formerly communist areas, you could almost still see the wood pulp in it. It was that bad.

In the Middle East, they use lots of bidets in public restrooms, which seems like a good idea, until you walk into a stall and the ground and toiler are covered with fecal contaminated water from all the splashing. Yech!

The worst, however, is that in many parts of the developing world, the toilets are largely squat toilets. Ok for peeing (for a man that is) but doing the deuce is not a pleasant experience.
 
jimmy eat jazz said:
I was in E. Europe shortly after it opened up. One sure way to tell whether you crossed over into former communist areas (other than the prevalence of Trabants on the road) was the quality of toilet paper. In the formerly communist areas, you could almost still see the wood pulp in it. It was that bad.

In the Middle East, they use lots of bidets in public restrooms, which seems like a good idea, until you walk into a stall and the ground and toiler are covered with fecal contaminated water from all the splashing. Yech!

The worst, however, is that in many parts of the developing world, the toilets are largely squat toilets. Ok for peeing (for a man that is) but doing the deuce is not a pleasant experience.
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So translate this into a tropical paradise. Riding on bus through the jungle, people jump out and do their business in the bushes. Watch your step, and look out for the pigs.
 
babe said:
So translate this into a tropical paradise. Riding on bus through the jungle, people jump out and do their business in the bushes. Watch your step, and look out for the pigs.
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I am profoundly aware of and grateful for the blessings of indoor plumbing and flush toilets.
 
The Thriller said:
You wipe and 45 mins later ya have to go back and wipe again because it's so damn itchy.
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I believe this is referred to as "afterburner itch." I've experienced this from time to time but no often. My work is the same and the toilet paper provided is less than stellar quality. That being said, I don't have a problem wiping. Have you thought about finding a tutorial online? I'm sure there has to be one out there. I think you and the people of your ilk -- those that were not taught correctly by their parental figures -- have to have some sort of support group...maybe on the facebook? Hell, ask Balloun what he does.
 
VINYLONE said:
I believe this is referred to as "afterburner itch." I've experienced this from time to time but no often. My work is the same and the toilet paper provided is less than stellar quality. That being said, I don't have a problem wiping. Have you thought about finding a tutorial online? I'm sure there has to be one out there. I think you and the people of your ilk -- those that were not taught correctly by their parental figures -- have to have some sort of support group...maybe on the facebook? Hell, ask Balloun what he does.
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Wiping Your *** for Dummies
 
jimmy eat jazz said:
I was in E. Europe shortly after it opened up. One sure way to tell whether you crossed over into former communist areas (other than the prevalence of Trabants on the road) was the quality of toilet paper. In the formerly communist areas, you could almost still see the wood pulp in it. It was that bad.

In the Middle East, they use lots of bidets in public restrooms, which seems like a good idea, until you walk into a stall and the ground and toiler are covered with fecal contaminated water from all the splashing. Yech!

The worst, however, is that in many parts of the developing world, the toilets are largely squat toilets. Ok for peeing (for a man that is) but doing the deuce is not a pleasant experience.
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Squatting while you **** is actually healthier and is cleaner (easier wiping afterwards).
 
Jamezz said:
No seriously, as a kid that was raised in a small town of a rural area in Spain there were times I was too far from home to rush back to take a dump. So I had to use whatever was at hand to wipe my butt.
Click to expand...

Ive been taking a **** at home and went to reach for the TP and realized my ****ing roommate used the last of it and forgot to inform/buy more so I just had to use napkins or newspaper.
 
You have fungus from doing MMA dumbass.

My ******* has been infected with fungus since I was 18. I was proscribed lystatin for two weeks but it didn't work so I kept it up for a month. Plus It made my ******* twitch all day long and what can I say, I was 18 w a hard on so I rolled with it. Fun times.

Next I was proscribed clotrimazole with some other ingredient I do not remember. Keep in mind this is two and a half years after bleeding ********. It did not work.

I turned to chlorox and sticking my ******* in the sunshine for two hours per day. Those uv rays you know? Plus the sensation of pulling my cheeks apart for so long Then I blasted my *** w baking powder like a 1950's greaser looking to get laid. If you are daft it is to keep things dry. Not Fun Gus hates dry.

Finally, I purchased a soldering iron for the anal fissures. You must dig deep into the anal fissures or it will keep coming back like a bad streptococcus infection. This is what happens when you try to scratch the fungus from your ********.
 
Boris said:
You have fungus from doing MMA dumbass.

My ******* has been infected with fungus since I was 18. I was proscribed lystatin for two weeks but it didn't work so I kept it up for a month. Plus It made my ******* twitch all day long and what can I say, I was 18 w a hard on so I rolled with it. Fun times.

Next I was proscribed clotrimazole with some other ingredient I do not remember. Keep in mind this is two and a half years after bleeding ********. It did not work.

I turned to chlorox and sticking my ******* in the sunshine for two hours per day. Those uv rays you know? Plus the sensation of pulling my cheeks apart for so long Then I blasted my *** w baking powder like a 1950's greaser looking to get laid. If you are daft it is to keep things dry. Not Fun Gus hates dry.

Finally, I purchased a soldering iron for the anal fissures. You must dig deep into the anal fissures or it will keep coming back like a bad streptococcus infection. This is what happens when you try to scratch the fungus from your ********.
Click to expand...

KyzW3RW.gif
 
Funny story from my brother about my nearly 5-year-old niece:

Tonight I was sitting with Peyton as she went to bed, she had eyes closed, I was rubbing her back, she was just about asleep, when she all of a sudden sat up, looked at me and said, "Dad, sometimes I talk about poop!" After trying not to laugh, I said, "so do I." She laid back down and went to sleep.
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Quite the confession from my girl. :D
 
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