I was thinking that in honor of Father's Day I should tell a bunch of dad jokes today.

[colton]

Then I realized I don't know anyone named Day.

Happy Father's Day, dads!

 

[Gameface]

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

 

[Rubashov]

What do you get a ginger kid with no arms and no legs for his birthday?

Cancer.

 

[colton]

Why should you never use puns with thieves?

They take things literally.

 

[Archie Moses]

I went to Lehi High which is only one high away from being an echo.

 

[colton]

What's icy and bad for your teeth?

A comet

 

[candrew]

What did one one snowman say to the other snowman?



Why does it always smell like carrots in here????

 

[str8line]

Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Because zippers scare the sheep.

 

[JazzGal]

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.

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[gandalfe]

“Dad, can you put my shoes on?”

“No, they won’t fit me. I have outgrown small shoes, just as I have outgrown feeling awe at the sun’s rise, joy at your mother’s smile, and belief in a just and loving God.”

Nihilist Dad Jokes Part II

 

[infection]

What's icy and bad for your teeth?

Icy Hot.

 

[infection]

What did one one snowman say to the other snowman?



Why does it always smell like carrots in here????

Why was the snowman smiling?

He saw the snowblower coming.

 

[Stoked]

There’s tons of these. Just search “dad joke battle” on YouTube.

 

[Stoked]

Also, I’ve had an amazing Dads Day weekend. Nothing special. Just good solid time with 3 of 4 kids and family. And tonight my oldest (the most elusive of the 4) told me she’s gonna spend a week with me during my vacation in two weeks.

Woot woot! Y’all don’t even know.

 

[fishonjazz]

I went swimming with my daughter and then drove to a lake and caught a couple fish.
Pretty sweet


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[Stoked]

I went swimming with my daughter and then drove to a lake and caught a couple fish.
Pretty sweet


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You cook’em?

 

[fishonjazz]

You cook’em?

Nah. Let the dog play with them a little and then turned em loose

Sent from my ONEPLUS A6013 using JazzFanz mobile app

 

[colton]

Also, I’ve had an amazing Dads Day weekend. Nothing special. Just good solid time with 3 of 4 kids and family. And tonight my oldest (the most elusive of the 4) told me she’s gonna spend a week with me during my vacation in two weeks.

Woot woot! Y’all don’t even know.

Awesome! I bet you're stoked!

 

[LogGrad98]

You cook’em?

Nah. Let the dog play with them a little and then turned em loose

Sent from my ONEPLUS A6013 using JazzFanz mobile app

That's no way to treat your kids!

 

[Stoked]

That's no way to treat your kids!

Depends on the kid tbh