I smoked like a chimney for almost five solid years. I agree 100% with Conan. To argue otherwise is foolish beyond measure. Conan is trolling you guys like it's his job -- and you're doing a wonderful job of playing along, mind you -- but in the end, strip off all of the trollishness, he's spot on.
Also, not that it has any relevance on the issue, but I was in the car when my buddy crashed. We were all blazed out of our minds in the Molca Salsa drive thru when he just put his head back and started rambling about politics. His foot slid off the brake and we rolled into the side of the building. Not one of the three of us in the car noticed it was happening until it went 'boom'.