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Infidelity

candrew, how did the husband find out? Is there a possibility some of the kids are fathered by the other guy?
 
CONAN said:
candrew, how did the husband find out? Is there a possibility some of the kids are fathered by the other guy?
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You know I'm not exactly clear on how he found out. I was told he "accidentally" found out through his sister-in-law as in he overheard a conversation that she was having with his wife. My guess is he had his suspicions and was eavesdropping.

I will say all 3 kids (2 girls and a boy) look exactly like him. I guess anything is possible but I would say they're all his. Even if they weren't, I doubt it would change much - his life revolves around his kids.
 
Is this thread a draft of a script for a new Seinfeld episode?


If so, it might seriously win an Emmy.



Anyhow, good luck to your brother-in-law. That is certainly a difficult situation.

My hunch is that his wife does't want a divorce, after four years of this she's perhaps grown accustomed to keeping up her dual life.
 
candrew said:
My brother-in-law recently found out that his wife has been cheating on him. His wife is a nurse and apparently she's been seeing a doctor on the side for 4 years.

At this point my brother-in-law has decided not to seek a divorce - mainly because he has 3 children and they're all under 10 years old.

I have to question whether or not this is the right move, sometimes keeping a toxic marraige together is worse than a divorce.

How would you folks handle it? I know personally I'd divorce her, even if I was in his situation; but I can tell you he's not doing it out of weakness - he's a better man than me. Because of issues many years ago with his father, he was homeless for a short time in his early 20's and has gone from literally nothing to being an IT Executive for a major communications company.

It bears mentioning that she didn't confess to the affair. He accidentally found out from his sister in law - his wife didn't confess until he confronted her.
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He is a stronger man than I am or dumber. I am sorry for this situation. I would divorce her. I am not good with forgiveness which is obviously a bad trait for me.
 
Cyrone Torbin said:
They were co-workers so it makes it pretty easy to hide. Probably banged at work, earning that OT. I think a huge % of affairs happen with co-workers.
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Makes sense i guess, people spend 7 hours a day with them. By the time people get home, they are exhausted or unhappy with their lives. It's kind of sad.

Regarding this particular story, I've been in this ugly situation before, but mine only lasted 2 months. I can't imagine the horror if it lasted four years. We had to forgive and forget, but it's a very tough thing to do at first because the scar left on my heart will last forever. If an affair dragged on that long, it would be best to say goodbye. Let the doctor's wife know and see how the whole thing plays out for her.
 
Was the Doctor sleeping with her while she was preggers with his kids? Kind of messed up. Also DNA tests for all kids.
 
GoJazz said:
Was the Doctor sleeping with her while she was preggers with his kids? Kind of messed up. Also DNA tests for all kids.
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I was going to say this as well. Find out the level of betrayal. Doesn't mean you have to not love that kid. I am just one that really has to know. Otherwise, it would drive me crazy.
 
GoJazz said:
Was the Doctor sleeping with her while she was preggers with his kids? Kind of messed up. Also DNA tests for all kids.
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This is where I chime in with a little moderation advice. They might not have your DNA but that doesn't mean they're not your children. If I were to find out mine aren't "mine" it would not affect my feelings as their father. If the mother tried to take legal action to reverse this it would do nothing but mess up the children.
 
franklin said:
This is where I chime in with a little moderation advice. They might not have your DNA but that doesn't mean they're not your children. If I were to find out mine aren't "mine" it would not affect my feelings as their father. If the mother tried to take legal action to reverse this it would do nothing but mess up the children.
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It makes it even more tough to know that a kid really isn't yours. I would tell myself that i'll never treat them differently, but I'm afraid that the pain would be too unbearable. In some cases, I think I would rather not know. I think I saw this on the Muary show, but a dad found out none of his 5 kids had his DNA and their ages ranged from 3 to 12. The look on his face and the level of pain was nearly unbearable to watch.
 
Cyrone Torbin said:
They were co-workers so it makes it pretty easy to hide. Probably banged at work, earning that OT. I think a huge % of affairs happen with co-workers.
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That's correct - his position required periodic traveling. His wife worked odd hours at a hospital as a nurse. They often had schedules that would result in them not seeing each other for the entire day.
 
franklin said:
This is where I chime in with a little moderation advice. They might not have your DNA but that doesn't mean they're not your children. If I were to find out mine aren't "mine" it would not affect my feelings as their father. If the mother tried to take legal action to reverse this it would do nothing but mess up the children.
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This. My oldest daughter is not biologically mine. Anyone who tries to take her away from me will have the fight of their lives on their hands.
 
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