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Women's Roller Derby

sirkickyass

sirkickyass

Moderator Emeritus
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So I went to a Roller Derby match over the weekend. These things are shockingly fun.

Near as I can tell they've taken the best parts of various other sports.

Professional Wrestling: All the players have completely absurd self-generated monikers (my personal favorite that's jazzfanz publishable was "Chantilly Mace"). Several had elaborate face painting and tattoo schemes. Playing to the crowd seemed to be encouraged.

Basketball: Hilarious jawing at the referees at all times. All fouls and penalties are met with an immediate claim that they've never fouled anyone in their whole life.

Hockey: There's a penalty box. Teams with a man advantage take part in a "power jam."

Football: It's seriously full contact (lots of elbows thrown and tons of nasty spills) and most of the game action appears to revolve around tactics very similar to run blocking while one designated player from each team tries to pass "the pack." As a result all the blockers are simultaneously trying to defensively block the other team while offensively pushing out space for their teammates. Lots of jukes, fast diagonal cuts, and even a few stiff-arms.

Baseball: To be honest, I only like going to baseball games for the concessions. Roller Derby was sponsored by Maker's Mark and PBR. This made the event 27% more fascinating.

Underground boxing: You want a seedy venue? The event was held in an industrial neighborhood in the East Bay at a warehouse in an abandoned shipyard. You can't make something like that up. They claimed it was called the "Craneway Pavilion." I've been there, it's a ****ing warehouse.

Also, they had some great swag. I definitely purchased a t-shirt for the Richmond team bearing this logo:

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And the tickets were only $12.

Couldn't recommend more highly.
 
I went to one when I was about 14 or so at the Salt Palace. I had a blast. I went back the next night. If I hear of one in SLC I might take the wife, I think she'd love it. She likes to watch people fall down and get hurt.
 
I used to watch the LA Thunderbirds all the time when I was a kid, and since then, I will stop if I come across it on TV. Never been in person.
 
several friends from my bowling league do this, they skate in a league called Derby Lite, so maybe it's not quite a rough as "full" derby - - or maybe it's sponsored by Miller Lite, I'll have to ask!

they really enjoy it and they had all sorts of cheesy photos taken in their gear
 
Archie Moses said:
Wow, did you see how burley and ugly those chicks are? Gosh, I sincerely hope you don't think they're hot or anything. I know you didn't say that, but still, I really do hope.
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Considering most of the players are blockers it shouldn't be any real surprise that a lot of them are larger or burly. The same is true of dudes who play the line in football.

Similarly the skaters who are going for speed and manuverability tend to be smaller women.

Some of the derby girls are hardly ugly, but I would go in considering any cheesecake to be a pure bonus.
 
Sirkickyass said:
That's my definition of a keeper.
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Haha. Yeah, I didn't marry her for her looks.

Not sayin' my wife isn't beautiful, just sayin' that's not why I married her.

Archie, I don't care what you say, I found many of those women attractive.

I'm going to take my wife on Sep. 25th for her b-day. Thanks for the thread kicky!
 
There used to be a league on TV many years back that was pretty obviously fixed. It was a male league, though. Guys doing power bombs and things of that nature. Still a blast to watch, though.

These leagues you guys are mentioning seem to be legitimate competition. And with encouraging the participants to pander to the crowd, I can't see it NOT being a blast to watch.
 
Darkwing Duck said:
There used to be a league on TV many years back that was pretty obviously fixed. It was a male league, though. Guys doing power bombs and things of that nature. Still a blast to watch, though.

These leagues you guys are mentioning seem to be legitimate competition. And with encouraging the participants to pander to the crowd, I can't see it NOT being a blast to watch.
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I remember those leagues. Didn't they run the episodes on Comedy Central?

Anyway, this issue is actually addressed on one of the website's FAQs.

Q: Is the action real? I thought roller derby was fake, kinda like pro wrestling.
The short answer: It's not fake any more. Unlike the derby of the 70s or pro wrestling of today, modern roller derby is a completely legitimate, competitive sport.

The long answer: From its invention in the 1930s up through the 1950s and later, classic roller derby was a basically legit and very popular sport. Through the 60s and into the 70s, theatricality and predetermined outcomes became more prevalent.

By its demise in 1973, classic roller derby had fully embraced the pro wrestling philosophy of spectacle over sport, and most people today retain a vague memory of the sport in that state. Ill-fated revivals attempts in the 80's and 90's went even further down the rabbit hole, culminating in RollerJam's figure-8 track and alligator pit.

When roller derby was reinvented in Austin, Texas, starting in 2001, those same recollections of the old spectacle and fakery definitely informed the derby girls' original intent. As they trained up, though, they came to discover that the best way to make a knockdown look convincing was to actually knock the other skater down, and before long they'd dropped the choreography entirely in favor of real contact with consistent and enforced rules.
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I kind of wish they'd kept the alligator pit.
 
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