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Who are you??

43 yrs. young
6'1", bald and fat
B.S. Econ (Utah), MBA (Utah)
work in the "cloud"
also sing for one band, sing and play bass for another
travel a ton for work and play
married, 2 kids, divorced, re-married, re-divorced, now dating this gal a guy at work set me up with who just so happens to be his sister
used to be diehard jazz fan, now lukewarm
Utah football season ticket holder
mentally unstable
Have played basketball once against a few people on here
Trout is my insurance agent
bigb is my electrician (despite what he thinks of Utah fans)
I also read a lot, enjoy good food, dig walks on the beach, dancing in the rain, and pina coladas.

If you've read this far, you must be pretty bored.
 
colton said:
What the heck? How many guns have you had pulled on you in the States?? I'm 42, and I've never had a single gun pulled on me. And you're talking plural.
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I've had a gun pulled on me once by police when I was 13. I was locked out of my house an trying to jimmy open the back door. Neighbor called police and they arrived when I was on the roof. With guns drawn, they told me to go in the front yard where they then began to frisk me. After about a half hour they started to believe me.
 
bigb said:
I made the final table (top 5 overall finish) in Gameface's poker league. He should do that again.
Big time BYU fan. I think all Ute fans are mouth breathing, knuckle dragging, beer throwing, gas pumping, waste of my oxygen. They should be outlawed.
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This might be one of the greatest posts of all time.

But now onto the meat of things: I owe everyone on this board a big mother effing apology. If had had any inkling that telling Ugly about the GD forum would send this place directly into the crapper, I would have gladly shut my corn hole. I am to blame, and I am really having a hard time coping with that particular factoid. And while I'm here, I am the one that coined UGLI Baby. Might as well put that one on my back too, since I'm already Hell bound.

I'm a 32 year old white male (from the waist up) and I've been having my mid-life crisis for about six years now. I was an 18 year old know-it-all and started a fly fishing business and told college to eat my man chowder. Life was good for the next nine years, but when things went bad, they went bad in a hurry. In a matter of twelve month I went from making 100k to 12k. My wife and I had to take a $30,000.00 loss on our house to avoid foreclosure, and it was a beautiful home that we built next door to bigb. He was an excellent neighbor, for what it's worth, and I miss him dearly. I've been selling insurance for eight years now, as a full time job for the last four years. I fish a lot, which is why I live in a dumpy house and drive dumpy cars, but dammit, I'm an addict. If anyone ever wants to go, I need like 10 minutes notice. I'm an aspiring politician, which is weird, because I hate politicians. I have had a rather unhealthy obsession with MMA for the last eight years or so, and finally took the step to actually compete. I've only grappled so far and I'm planning on one more grappling tournament in December, after which I will try my hand at full contact MMA. I'm more interested in the cerebral aspect of the sport, not the meat-head, break your face, get tats and do drugs aspect. We'll see how well that goes...

My life really does revolve around fishing though, it's sad. It's awesome. My family is a very close second, and I love my girls more than anything on the planet. I lost my first baby girl at birth; Ash let me name her River. (told you I'm addicted) We named our second baby girl Sloan. Yes, after Jerry. I have one other little girl and if nobody is around, I call her Lucifer or The Morning Star, but her birth certificate says Piper, and man, what an apt name. The kid never shuts her aching pie hole! She looks just like her dad, has the same ****ty attitude as her dad, is a lazy *** like her dad, is deceptive and a brown nosing slime ball, just like her dad. You'd think I'd LOVE this kid, but I see all of my bad traits just bursting out of every one of her seems. She is in for a really rough life I'm afraid. My wife and I have been married since 2005. I was born a Mormon, but didn't buy into it at all. I met some bad *** missionaries when I was engaged to Ash and they asked if there was anything they could do for me -- I told them to go weed my front yard, laughed, and sent them on their merry way. I woke up the next morning and looked out my window to see six missionaries in their grubbies pulling weeds in my front yard. I felt like such a tool. I humored them and let them give me the 1st discussion... It was all over at that point. Been a flaming Mo ever since.

That's about it. I choked out Archie Moses on his first attempt to take me down last night. Full on guillotine from standing down to full guard. Later on I slapped on an armbar and accidentally kicked him - hard - in the face with the side of my heel. He said he didn't feel it and didn't remember me doing it, but he texted this to me a few minutes ago:

Chin_zpsba7d7365.jpg


"That gland thing is all swollen. I'm assuming that's where u kicked me, but then again, I don't even remember being kicked. It could be from multiple guillotines."

That guy may look/act like a femmy florist, but he is long, lanky, and strong as ****. I'm more sore today than I have ever been, and I've been pretty damn sore.

I am truly sorry for UGLI.
 
colton said:
What the heck? How many guns have you had pulled on you in the States?? I'm 42, and I've never had a single gun pulled on me. And you're talking plural.
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Yes plural. I have had 3 guns pulled on me or those I am with in the states. 2 in honduras.

Edit: One of the times in Honduras I was staring down the barrell of the gun. Man was calling me the antichrist in slurred spanish as he has drunk. He was having a hard time telling me that he was going to kill me. I am here only because a pretty woman chose that moment to walk by. He got disctracted and I didn't wait around.
 
Stoked said:
Yes plural. I have had 3 guns pulled on me or those I am with in the states. 2 in honduras.
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Scary. I'm with colton in that it's never happened to me.

So 2 times in 2 years in Honduras, 3 times in 30+ years in the US? Math is going to favor Honduras as the more dangerous location.
 
bordelais7 said:
Scary. I'm with colton in that it's never happened to me.

So 2 times in 2 years in Honduras, 3 times in 30+ years in the US? Math is going to favor Honduras as the more dangerous location.
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Math. How does that **** work?

dat jazzfanz.com mobile app doe
 
Are you saying Arch didn't have a double chin until you kicked him in the face?? You're bad mother ****er. Could you maybe un-kick me?
 
First off, I was two for two on take downs. So what if I walked right into your guillotine. Second off, you attempted an arm bar on me, you didn't land it. Third off, you kicked me in the face and I didn't even notice. Yeah, I'm a bad ***. Other than that, Trout knows his submissions and it was funny rolling with him. I'll get him soon enough.
 
Stoked said:
Yes plural. I have had 3 guns pulled on me or those I am with in the states. 2 in honduras.
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Yikes. 5 times, and you're not even 40 yet? Them's not great odds, friend.

Edit: One of the times in Honduras I was staring down the barrell of the gun. Man was calling me the antichrist in slurred spanish as he has drunk. He was having a hard time telling me that he was going to kill me. I am here only because a pretty woman chose that moment to walk by. He got disctracted and I didn't wait around.
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If it's any consolation, I once had a self defense instructor tell me that people nearly always miss (90%?) when trying to shoot other people even at close range unless they are highly trained. And sometimes even if they are highly trained. Something about psychology, the shooter tends to jerk the gun away when actually confronted with the possibility of taking a human life. Course I don't know if that's true or not, but it sounded good.
 
Stoked said:
Yes plural. I have had 3 guns pulled on me or those I am with in the states. 2 in honduras.

Edit: One of the times in Honduras I was staring down the barrell of the gun. Man was calling me the antichrist in slurred spanish as he has drunk. He was having a hard time telling me that he was going to kill me. I am here only because a pretty woman chose that moment to walk by. He got disctracted and I didn't wait around.
Click to expand...

You need to spend a weekend with Dutch learning dat Krag Mava

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWP3vZcKUvo
 
29, White Male, 5'10 170lbs. I'm from Alaska, hence the name. Growing up, Trajan Langdon was my hero. I just moved out of Alaska about 2 years ago to Arizona. I have 6-months left to finish my Masters in Accounting, also getting ready to take the CPA exam. LDS (converted at 18), served my mission in Madagascar.

My claim to fame here is that Carlos Boozer once dunked on me in a basketball game. This is no lie.

19717_500.jpg
 
I am 21. 6 feet tall. Living in Turkey and studying English Language Teaching. Single(for way too long). Agnostic. I am drawing some stuff and trying to get better as an artist(or become one).

My hobbies are playing basketball(I could dunk before I got a chest operation), reading, biking and drinking.
 
bordelais7 said:
Scary. I'm with colton in that it's never happened to me.

So 2 times in 2 years in Honduras, 3 times in 30+ years in the US? Math is going to favor Honduras as the more dangerous location.
Click to expand...

In Honduras I am in a much higher profile. I'm walking around in pressed shirt, slacks and tie amoung people that live in Adobe houses. In the state's I'm just another face.
 
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