Would you like an extra spouse with that?

[moevillini]

Sounds like you want a live in nanny that you don't want to bang.

Mrs. Doubtfire perhaps!

 

[Dr. Jones]

Would have zero desire to have multiple wives.
If I were single, I'd prefer to date many.. but that's completely different.

 

[TroutBum]

I'd sooner cut my balls off and feed them to my cats. One psychotic person in this house is enough. Besides, I'm positive my wife couldn't handle another "me".

 

[LogGrad98]

so does your question apply to a woman having multiple husbands? or multiple folks of any variety of genders having friendships with benefits with others in the group?


seems to me like it would just get very confusing

Yes. I was careful to say "spouse" and "partner", not just "wife" in this. Makes for more interesting discussion.

 

[LogGrad98]

A polygamous relationship is usually based gender power inequality. Women literally needed a man to have a good life. There wasn't enough strong men to go around. So the women shared.

I don't see the need or utility of it in modern society. Women are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves. Now if you had some sort of love triangle thing going on, maybe there would be reason for it.

The way this came up in conversation with my wife was through a friend of hers who went through an ugly divorce about 8 years ago. She is now in her late 30's and was talking to my wife about how hard it is to date at that age, especially considering the fact that she has a kid whom she has custody of. We have invited her to many activities in our family over the years and I would consider her my friend too. She was pretty down and told my wife she feels like the "good men" are so few and far between, and told her she was lucky to have me. She is LDS and finding single LDS men at that age can come with it's own weird baggage. My wife thought about that and thought well what if she could marry me? She would have a decent husband and father, someone who at least approximates her values, and they both are more or less best friends to begin with.

 

[framer]

My great, great grandfather was actually a polygamist and kept a detailed journal. In his later years he claims that he loved each of his three wives and all of his children more than life itself, but that the institution of plural marriage was complete hell and he wouldn't recommend it.

 

[Fishsticks]

The way this came up in conversation with my wife was through a friend of hers who went through an ugly divorce about 8 years ago. She is now in her late 30's and was talking to my wife about how hard it is to date at that age, especially considering the fact that she has a kid whom she has custody of. We have invited her to many activities in our family over the years and I would consider her my friend too. She was pretty down and told my wife she feels like the "good men" are so few and far between, and told her she was lucky to have me. She is LDS and finding single LDS men at that age can come with it's own weird baggage. My wife thought about that and thought well what if she could marry me? She would have a decent husband and father, someone who at least approximates her values, and they both are more or less best friends to begin with.

So your wife is cool witchu you hittin dat too? Your wife is pretty bad *** and I'd say just do it bro.

 

[candrew]

I think you take religion out of the equation and have a marriage of 3 true equals you'd get a lot of "2 against 1" scenarios with the two women inevitably teaming up to slit the man's throat while he's sleeping.

 

[fallenchicken]

I couldn't see that--not for any morality reason, it's just not the life/relationship I want. Although I respect anyone (or group of people) who want that, whether it's a man and his wives or a woman and her husbands. A long as everyone is an adult, safe, and happy, I'm like the Pope; who am I to judge?

 

[LogGrad98]

So your wife is cool witchu you hittin dat too? Your wife is pretty bad *** and I'd say just do it bro.

My wife was on the fence about that aspect. She said she felt she could deal with it considering that they are best friends, but the jealousy aspect would have to potentially be a big issue for the "sharing" spouse, I would think. My wife said since she never really had to deal with any jealousy issues like that, that she wasn't sure how she would feel about it. It might not be an issue at all, but you never know.

My great, great grandfather was actually a polygamist and kept a detailed journal. In his later years he claims that he loved each of his three wives and all of his children more than life itself, but that the institution of plural marriage was complete hell and he wouldn't recommend it.

I wonder about the wives. Were they jealous of each other? Did they love him the same way, and the other wives? Were they in it out of duty or some other motivation?

 

[default]

Just let the friend and her kid move into your basement. You don't have to marry her or even have sex. Three adults helping each other out and saving some money. If she finds someone, she can leave. If it turns into something physical, that is between the three consenting adults to decide.

 

[franklin]

I think you take religion out of the equation and have a marriage of 3 true equals you'd get a lot of "2 against 1" scenarios with the two women inevitably teaming up to slit the man's throat while he's sleeping.

Solved.

https://jazzfanz.com/showthread.php...-quot&highlight=christian+domestic+discipline

 

[Gameface]

franklin, I searched "2girls, one kid" and it came up with a youtube video of a couple girls dancing in front of their obese baby brother than trying to pull him off the couch but causing him to fall on his face. He laid there and they pretended to kick him. That can't be what you were talking about?

 

[candrew]

Solved.

https://jazzfanz.com/showthread.php...-quot&highlight=christian+domestic+discipline

Right - I think it goes without saying that in any culture where polygamy had any degree of success the women were subservient to the men. If you can make it work otherwise then more power to you - I wouldn't even be inclined to try.

 

[Gameface]

It sounds okay but I just think human emotions get in the way of it really working. If people can actually handle it it sounds just fine to me. I think more people think they could handle it than actually could. If I thought I could do it I would be interested, but I know that I just couldn't handle it and I couldn't handle either or both of the women (only situation I would even consider) getting jealous or whatever.

I'd have to take a pass.

 

[Harambe]

So I haven't read any of this thread and don't really care to right now. Seems like this is just a curiosity thing someone had, so I'll provide my opinion.

I'm not married, but in a commitment with the woman I live with.

Yes, as it turns out, I'm not gay.

Objectively, can any of you honestly tell me that you can not fathom a situation where X loves Y just as much as Z, Y loves X just as much as Z, and Z loves Y just as much as X?

From a mechanical standpoint the more parts you have the more likely the machine is to break. I get that. But it's hard to argue that there isn't the potential for huge benefits to adding more parts.

Why isn't the same true with relationships?

 

[jimmy eat jazz]

Only if it involved threesomes.

Seriously, why not ask about polyandry also? Polygamy has always been about asymmetric power relations. Women submit to it because they lack the power to oppose it. Men practice it because both they have the power and it gives them more power, and as I think we see with so many 'great men,' sex and power often go hand in hand.

In today's Western society, women are increasingly educated and earning incomes. I believe also in the US, women now outnumber men at universities and women are increasingly becoming the primary breadwinner in families, or if not the primary breadwinner, a significant contributor. It's not outside the realm of the thinkable that if current trends continue, women will become the/a dominant economic force within society and within households. Money is power, and power is . . . well you get it.

This whole discussion polygamy, and the corresponding lack of consideration for polyandry, only goes to show how inherently sexist this whole discussion is. Ask yourselves whether you'd like to be in a polyandrous relationship (I think we know the answer in 99% of cases) and then ask yourselves again why women would feel any differently than you where it comes to polygamy, particularly as they are increasingly less reliant on men for their economic survival.

I also just have to address the comment someone made about how polygamy was/is practiced because men out number women. This is a canard, never was the case, least of all in LDS history. It is a sexist practice that demeans and objectifies women on the whole.

How any otherwise decent person can rationalize this truly horrendous practice away as somehow divine and acceptable is far beyond my abilities to comprehend (and is one of many, but still primary, reasons why I left the LDS Church).

 

[LogGrad98]

This whole discussion polygamy, and the corresponding lack of consideration for polyandry, only goes to show how inherently sexist this whole discussion is. Ask yourselves whether you'd like to be in a polyandrous relationship (I think we know the answer in 99% of cases) and then ask yourselves again why women would feel any differently than you where it comes to polygamy, particularly as they are increasingly less reliant on men for their economic survival.

I used polygamy because it is the non-gender term.

Polygamy (from πολύς γάμος polys gamos, translated literally in Late Greek as "many married")[1] is a marriage which includes more than two partners.[1] When a man is married to more than one wife at a time, the relationship is called polygyny, and there is no marriage bond between the wives; and when a woman is married to more than one husband at a time, it is called polyandry, and there is no marriage bond between the husbands. If a marriage includes multiple husbands and wives, it can be called group marriage.[1]

 

[One Brow]

So, would you want to live in a polygamous relationship? Why or why not? What if you spouse not only gave consent, but encouraged it and helped you find new partners?

My wife and I had an open marriage briefly, but monogamy works better for both of us.

 

[One Brow]

Right - I think it goes without saying that in any culture where polygamy had any degree of success the women were subservient to the men. If you can make it work otherwise then more power to you - I wouldn't even be inclined to try.

While the reverse is true in the handful of cultures that practiced polyandry, but not polygyny. I don't think there has been a culture that practiced polygamy with either sex having multiple partners.

However, at least on atheist blogs, it's common to see people of any sex describe themselves as polyamorous.