Most of mine will not be entirely new, as I have overshared as a matter of habit on Jazzfanz for many years.
1) I am a five time felon as a juvenile. I've mentioned this before and left out the details. I was trying to play it up a bit and make it sound cooler than it actually was. Here's the brutal truth.
1st offense: Robbery.
I was in 4th grade. I sat next to the window and at the end of the school day the teacher instructed us next to the windows to close and lock them. I (gasp) closed but did not lock mine. I told some of the neighborhood kids what I had done. I was grounded at the time and couldn't go outside, so I couldn't participate in the school break-in. But they did. They broke in, sprayed fire extinguishers all over the place and then opened the door to the computer room, which was the only alarmed door in the school back in 1987.
2nd offense: Check fraud.
7th grade, kid in band class (I was second to last chair on trumpet, he was last chair) says he had been babysitting and the oldest kid he babysat gave him one of mommy and daddy's check books. He passed the checkbook off to me. I came up with an ingenious plan. Less than a year ago I had moved from SLC to Sandy so I ordered some glow in the dark fishing lures and had them sent to a vacant house two doors down from the house I had lived in. My best friend lived between my old house and the vacant house. I told him to expect the package. A police officer pulled me out of class and began by asking me if I liked to fish...
3rd Offense, Arson:
8th grade, I had just ended my first serious relationship. The girl I had been with for the previous year hit me up and we all met up at my best friend's tailor home. Same guy that I had informed about the shipment of glow in the dark lures. In the interim he had moved from ghetto SLC to a trailer park in West Valley. The three of us walked to the Valley Fair mall and at my insistence watched "Little Man Tate." I found in the sticky floor beneeth my seat a book of 7-11 matches. On the walk back to the trailer park (Mobile Haciendas, to be exact) we passed by Chris and Dicks hardware store. My ex-girlfriend's father was the manager of that store. They had some of those crappy evergreen type shrubberies on that strip between the sidewalk and the street. I had been playing with the matches and I lit one and dropped it into the shrubberies. I looked at it for a second, it seemed harmless, and I walked away. Then my ex exclaimed that the bush was on fire. I turned around and saw a modest flame. I approached intending to put it out but it had gotten larger. We were really just around the corner from my friend's trailer park so I said we should run. They ran for about 30 seconds and gave up. I kept going. Turns out the police caught up with them about 100 feet from his trailer. I was hiding in a stairwell next to the clubhouse. They rolled over on me immediately. I had to go to a class and was interrogated as to weather or not I had been molested. Turns out most firebugs have been molested. They didn't want to believe me that I hadn't been.
4th Offense: Grand theft auto, joyriding, curfew.
It's summer break after 8th grade. My friend is sleeping over at my hose (new friend). It's about 3am and we're bored. I suggest we take my parents car out. I snag the keys from my mom's purse, we manually open the garage and we push the car out into the street and get to it. It's a manual so we had to teach ourselves how to drive a stick. We cruse around for a bit, mostly up and down Dimple Dell, close to where I lived. We actually go back, put the car in the garage and go back inside. We twiddle our thumbs for a few minutes and decide we haven't had enough yet. Push the car back out of the garage and hit the road. We're far less timid this time around. My buddy drive to the top of Bell Canyon Rd, stops, get's out and we switch seats. He had skidded to a stop so we feel like we need to get out of there. I start driving back down Bell Canyon Rd. I shift to second, accelerate, I try to shift to third, it doesn't go, I look down at the stick, I get it in gear, I hit the gas, I look up...the road is bending, I don't make the turn. I go off into a field, hit slabs of discarded concrete and some boulders. I do a decent imitation of the Dukes of Hazard as I sail through the air and back to pavement where I come to a stop. My friend has to pry his door open as it won't open freely. We hear a hissing sound (all the tires had popped) and he yells, get out, it's gonna blow! I get out and we run down Bell Canyon Rd to Bell Canyon Cir., which is were I live. We get back inside and were kind of pumped up a bit. After a couple minutes I realize I left the keys in the car. I figure if I can go get the keys we can claim the car was stolen. So I run back up the street, grab the keys and start heading home again. But the ruckus had attracted attention and someone asks me what I'm doing. I tell them I heard the noise and came to see what was going on.
Long story short, After getting home I eventually walk into my parents room at 4am and tell them to wake up. They are confused. I tell them that I wrecked their car. They are more confused. We walk back up the street and I tell the sheriff it was me.
5th offense: Grand theft.
I work at Shopko on 94th S. Sandy. I'm 16. I work in the electronics dept as a cashier. Over a number of months I stole several Super Nintendo games and a decent camera. One day I didn't hear the manager say that it was time to go home after closing. I look around and realize I'm the only one in the store. I attempt to leave and end up having to unlock the doors to let myself out. I go home.
Next day I show up to work. I had swapped shifts with one of the other guys, he took the day and I took the closing shift. He's muttering "just get here, just get here" just as I get there. He says a super quick see ya later and gets the **** out. Very shortly after I'm called to the offices. They assumed I had robbed the place when I was there alone. They had a stack of VHS tapes they claimed showed that. I hadn't. However, my original friend from SLC had found a check book in the parking lot of the Albertson's he worked at and during Xmas time he rang a couple thousand dollars worth of stuff through my register. I was worried they might know about that. So, I copped to the shoplifting and took my lumps on that one. They never questioned me about the dirty checks I processed without verification. Looking back I should have just kept my mouth shut. I don't think they actually knew anything at all.
2) I'm a high school drop out. I got my HS diploma a week before going into boot camp...when I was 23.
3) My parents used my childhood home as a grow house. I think the picture must have been destroyed (I've looked for it) but when i was a child I remember snooping and finding a Polaroid of my father proudly hugging three lawn bags full of buds from his latest harvest.
1) I am a five time felon as a juvenile. I've mentioned this before and left out the details. I was trying to play it up a bit and make it sound cooler than it actually was. Here's the brutal truth.
1st offense: Robbery.
I was in 4th grade. I sat next to the window and at the end of the school day the teacher instructed us next to the windows to close and lock them. I (gasp) closed but did not lock mine. I told some of the neighborhood kids what I had done. I was grounded at the time and couldn't go outside, so I couldn't participate in the school break-in. But they did. They broke in, sprayed fire extinguishers all over the place and then opened the door to the computer room, which was the only alarmed door in the school back in 1987.
2nd offense: Check fraud.
7th grade, kid in band class (I was second to last chair on trumpet, he was last chair) says he had been babysitting and the oldest kid he babysat gave him one of mommy and daddy's check books. He passed the checkbook off to me. I came up with an ingenious plan. Less than a year ago I had moved from SLC to Sandy so I ordered some glow in the dark fishing lures and had them sent to a vacant house two doors down from the house I had lived in. My best friend lived between my old house and the vacant house. I told him to expect the package. A police officer pulled me out of class and began by asking me if I liked to fish...
3rd Offense, Arson:
8th grade, I had just ended my first serious relationship. The girl I had been with for the previous year hit me up and we all met up at my best friend's tailor home. Same guy that I had informed about the shipment of glow in the dark lures. In the interim he had moved from ghetto SLC to a trailer park in West Valley. The three of us walked to the Valley Fair mall and at my insistence watched "Little Man Tate." I found in the sticky floor beneeth my seat a book of 7-11 matches. On the walk back to the trailer park (Mobile Haciendas, to be exact) we passed by Chris and Dicks hardware store. My ex-girlfriend's father was the manager of that store. They had some of those crappy evergreen type shrubberies on that strip between the sidewalk and the street. I had been playing with the matches and I lit one and dropped it into the shrubberies. I looked at it for a second, it seemed harmless, and I walked away. Then my ex exclaimed that the bush was on fire. I turned around and saw a modest flame. I approached intending to put it out but it had gotten larger. We were really just around the corner from my friend's trailer park so I said we should run. They ran for about 30 seconds and gave up. I kept going. Turns out the police caught up with them about 100 feet from his trailer. I was hiding in a stairwell next to the clubhouse. They rolled over on me immediately. I had to go to a class and was interrogated as to weather or not I had been molested. Turns out most firebugs have been molested. They didn't want to believe me that I hadn't been.
4th Offense: Grand theft auto, joyriding, curfew.
It's summer break after 8th grade. My friend is sleeping over at my hose (new friend). It's about 3am and we're bored. I suggest we take my parents car out. I snag the keys from my mom's purse, we manually open the garage and we push the car out into the street and get to it. It's a manual so we had to teach ourselves how to drive a stick. We cruse around for a bit, mostly up and down Dimple Dell, close to where I lived. We actually go back, put the car in the garage and go back inside. We twiddle our thumbs for a few minutes and decide we haven't had enough yet. Push the car back out of the garage and hit the road. We're far less timid this time around. My buddy drive to the top of Bell Canyon Rd, stops, get's out and we switch seats. He had skidded to a stop so we feel like we need to get out of there. I start driving back down Bell Canyon Rd. I shift to second, accelerate, I try to shift to third, it doesn't go, I look down at the stick, I get it in gear, I hit the gas, I look up...the road is bending, I don't make the turn. I go off into a field, hit slabs of discarded concrete and some boulders. I do a decent imitation of the Dukes of Hazard as I sail through the air and back to pavement where I come to a stop. My friend has to pry his door open as it won't open freely. We hear a hissing sound (all the tires had popped) and he yells, get out, it's gonna blow! I get out and we run down Bell Canyon Rd to Bell Canyon Cir., which is were I live. We get back inside and were kind of pumped up a bit. After a couple minutes I realize I left the keys in the car. I figure if I can go get the keys we can claim the car was stolen. So I run back up the street, grab the keys and start heading home again. But the ruckus had attracted attention and someone asks me what I'm doing. I tell them I heard the noise and came to see what was going on.
Long story short, After getting home I eventually walk into my parents room at 4am and tell them to wake up. They are confused. I tell them that I wrecked their car. They are more confused. We walk back up the street and I tell the sheriff it was me.
5th offense: Grand theft.
I work at Shopko on 94th S. Sandy. I'm 16. I work in the electronics dept as a cashier. Over a number of months I stole several Super Nintendo games and a decent camera. One day I didn't hear the manager say that it was time to go home after closing. I look around and realize I'm the only one in the store. I attempt to leave and end up having to unlock the doors to let myself out. I go home.
Next day I show up to work. I had swapped shifts with one of the other guys, he took the day and I took the closing shift. He's muttering "just get here, just get here" just as I get there. He says a super quick see ya later and gets the **** out. Very shortly after I'm called to the offices. They assumed I had robbed the place when I was there alone. They had a stack of VHS tapes they claimed showed that. I hadn't. However, my original friend from SLC had found a check book in the parking lot of the Albertson's he worked at and during Xmas time he rang a couple thousand dollars worth of stuff through my register. I was worried they might know about that. So, I copped to the shoplifting and took my lumps on that one. They never questioned me about the dirty checks I processed without verification. Looking back I should have just kept my mouth shut. I don't think they actually knew anything at all.
2) I'm a high school drop out. I got my HS diploma a week before going into boot camp...when I was 23.
3) My parents used my childhood home as a grow house. I think the picture must have been destroyed (I've looked for it) but when i was a child I remember snooping and finding a Polaroid of my father proudly hugging three lawn bags full of buds from his latest harvest.
