What's new
By:

Karl Malone is a fool.

My family had season tickets to Chuck E. Cheese's for 36 years. They didn't guarantee us any specific seats or get us a discount of any kind, but there was not a single time in all the years we held those tickets that we were not allowed to come in and pay fair price in order to be served. Three generations of my kin have spent the most wonderful moments of our lives with the wind blowing through our hair on their amazing rides, playing their exciting games of skill to collect tickets for incredibly valuable prizes, and partaking in the healthiest food known to man. I have been told that the pizza has a special ingredient designed to clog only certain arteries. This helps redirect the blood to better arteries (much the same way as the Hoover Dam slows down flow of water in the Colorado so that the people of Las Vegas can stick straws in and suck out more and more... and then recycle that water several times so that they can enjoy drinking the same liquid over and over again). And speaking of the prizes, I want to mention that I particularly treasured a lava lamp worth 1 million tickets that our entire family worked together to obtain over the course of several years. Unfortunately, it busted before we ever got it home when my little brother apparently squeezed it too hard. The glass shards cut through his hand and also maimed my grandmother, while the toxic liquid inside splashed into my father's eyes and blinded him, causing a terrible collision with a Best Buy semi truck.

But I apologize that I've gotten off track. My point was that we had these glorious season tickets, and then one day our family dog was smashed right before our eyes by a monster truck, and the big black driver who was wearing a cowboy hat looked out at us and said, "Suck it, people. It's time to do a complete 360. You can forget about your season tickets to the pizza parlor because I own the place now and they are not going to be renewed because they were actually in the dog's name!!!"

"How can this be happening," I cried.

And the big man in the truck answered, "Karl Malone gotta do what Karl Malone gotta do."
 
Joe Bagadonuts said:
My family had season tickets to Chuck E. Cheese's for 36 years. They didn't guarantee us any specific seats or get us a discount of any kind, but there was not a single time in all the years we held those tickets that we were not allowed to come in and pay fair price in order to be served. Three generations of my kin have spent the most wonderful moments of our lives with the wind blowing through our hair on their amazing rides, playing their exciting games of skill to collect tickets for incredibly valuable prizes, and partaking in the healthiest food known to man. I have been told that the pizza has a special ingredient designed to clog only certain arteries. This helps redirect the blood to better arteries (much the same way as the Hoover Dam slows down flow of water in the Colorado so that the people of Las Vegas can stick straws in and suck out more and more... and then recycle that water several times so that they can enjoy drinking the same liquid over and over again). And speaking of the prizes, I want to mention that I particularly treasured a lava lamp worth 1 million tickets that our entire family worked together to obtain over the course of several years. Unfortunately, it busted before we ever got it home when my little brother apparently squeezed it too hard. The glass shards cut through his hand and also maimed my grandmother, while the toxic liquid inside splashed into my father's eyes and blinded him, causing a terrible collision with a Best Buy semi truck.

But I apologize that I've gotten off track. My point was that we had these glorious season tickets, and then one day our family dog was smashed right before our eyes by a monster truck, and the big black driver who was wearing a cowboy hat looked out at us and said, "Suck it, people. It's time to do a complete 360. You can forget about your season tickets to the pizza parlor because I own the place now and they are not going to be renewed because they were actually in the dog's name!!!"

"How can this be happening," I cried.

And the big man in the truck answered, "Karl Malone gotta do what Karl Malone gotta do."
Click to expand...

This post wins the thread.
top notch
rep the man
 
You broke my heart...

130_879_a984bfaf6a3b9e0.jpg
 
I miss Brian Grant.

edit: Also, I really think today's game is so much more physical than ever before. It's a good thing players can protect themselves with all that body armor.
 
According to sources...Karl Malone originally requested John Stockton to be his presenter at the HOF induction, but Stockton declined, citing "irreconcilable differences".
 
...you may think he's a fool, but he's got 35,000 points that says he's the smartest power forward to ever play the game!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Share this page
Back
Top