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Bully-ing

bullying?

  • Yes it should stop forever and ever and ever

    Votes: 9 69.2%

  • No, bullying is part of (human)nature

    Votes: 1 7.7%

  • Depends on the level of bullying

    Votes: 2 15.4%

  • hmmmmmmm donuts

    Votes: 1 7.7%
  • Total voters
    13
D

DutchJazzer

Banned
So i was sitting in my underpants sunday on the couch having a lazy day when i saw this fatman on tv who calls him self dr phil. seeing as i was bored out of my skull i watched for a few minutes. needles to say dr phill sucks. but anywhoooos he was talking about bullying talking to bullies. ofcourse he was trying to confince bullies to stop bullying yada yadie hoo but who cares what he thinks or does dr phil sucks.

so i was thginking for a couple of minutes about bullying.
is bullying really wrong or bad. or is it jsut part of mother nature.
even animals resort to bullying.
i think being bullied builds character. sure bullying can lead to suicide if the victim is to weak to go on living, but is that really bad. sure any loss of human live is a pity. but taking the cowards way out gives evolution a much needed push.
i myself have been through my youth on both sides of the bulllying line. part of my life being the big bad bully. other part being the bullied, that ended when the bully switched from verbal to physical attacks and i kicked his sorry *** back to his mothers womb.

so in short i think bullying ***** is not bad. maybe the level of bullying.

so what you guys think about bullying?
 
If every bully had some cheese, he would stop bullying as he would be too happy enjoying the cheese.
Donuts would give him too much sugar and when he came down from his sugar high he would become grouchy and bully some more.

Therefore, cheese is the correct option.
 
I voted my observation that it is just nature. Besides I have had many bulls and I actually know what bullying is.

That said, I consider it my duty to make sure our government isn't the biggest bully on the block. I figure we need about 51% of the voters to just vote the bums out every election, and not re-elect them later like that bum Jerry Brown in the PRK, who's working his people over real good for a second time.
 
begin bullied builds character, so in effect when a bullied victim goes in the cheese business it would benefit cheese.

we should just learn to live with bullies and try to not blow things out of proportions.

if my son one day comes home complaining about bullies i would tell him stop being a cry baby and take care of business. like my father told me first day of school: remember if someone hits you kick the crap out of him then turn yourself in to the teacher/principle.
 
In all seriousness, bullying serves no purpose. It is not a great evolutionary force. It is typically insecure emotionally stunted strong kids picking on insecure emotionally stunted weak kids. And really at the ages most of this occurs that describes pretty much every kid to some degree. I have had my kids bullied and had to intervene when one of my kids became the bully. I got bullied in school somewhat. I think most probably had been at one point or another. At some point I believe most kids engage in behavior that could lead to or become bullying on one side or the other. I think to some degree it is a natural part of the development of their micro-society as kids learn to interact with others in a productive way. But I believe it is neither necessary nor beneficial.

My daughter who was bullied the most was a sweet, quiet kid and took the abuse for about 2 years (6th and 7th grade). She underwent counseling for about a semester to help her get past it. Now she is in the running for the valedictorian spot at her high school with a 3.8+ GPA and many extracurricular activities. This included 3 years running of fund raisers for childhood cancer research that she organized and directed (with the help of teacher sponsors of course - it was a school district thing, I believe, since most schools in the area had a drive of one sort or another) and that were so well-organized that the amounts from her small 500-student charter school's activities dwarfed those from the local 5A high school.

So would it have been better for society or evolution if she had committed suicide instead of finally talking to us about it?

Luckily it never got that bad for her, she never contemplated suicide, but as we read all too often in the paper it doesn't end that easily for a lot of kids. So I voted that bullying should stop altogether.
 
nice post log but you talk about kids. yet there seems to be bullies in all ages. even in old folks home. i'm not just talking about bullying kids just bullying in generaln.
i dont have kids yet so my views might be differnt now then when i have kids getting bullied or being a bully.

but lg98 isnt your daughter "stronger" now because she had to go through adversity? imagne her not facing any adversity. till she is 18 or 21 or whatever and leaves the house. the real world is jsut full of adversity, getting bullied in a way helps her dealing with adversity, helps her dealing with a "problem". yes i know she learns problems in school math problems and whatever. but schoolteachers cant teach us anything. i am willing to ebt that this experience might benefit her in the longrun? if you understand what i'm trying to say

now this is just part of my opinion put into words as best as I can. it might also change due to me not being a parent yet. for now i will have to say it would not worry me if my kid was being bullied to a certain degree. as to say as long as the bully does not go to far. now about what going to far I am not sure about. so yeah there should be "some" bullying in live
 
DutchJazzer said:
begin bullied builds character, so in effect when a bullied victim goes in the cheese business it would benefit cheese.

we should just learn to live with bullies and try to not blow things out of proportions.

if my son one day comes home complaining about bullies i would tell him stop being a cry baby and take care of business. like my father told me first day of school: remember if someone hits you kick the crap out of him then turn yourself in to the teacher/principle.
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The problem is not necessarily weakness but lacking the tools to deal with it. A lot of these kids don't know how to approach someone about it. It makes them feel weak and less than a person if they can't simply handle the bullying on their own, when there is no way we can expect kids in their teens and younger to have the kind of medation skills and other social tools to address this with a bully, or worse a group of bullies. And since it is often degrading in nature it makes it harder for kids to talk to even their parents about.

My daughter's bullying came to light when I actually saw it happen when I went to her school in the middle of the day to get her for a dentist appointment. It was between classes at her middle school and I walked into the office and saw her down the hall walking toward the office with 3 other girls. The other girls were laughing and my daughter had her arms folded tightly across her chest, obviously trying to control her composure. When we got in the car I asked her what that was all about. It took me haranguing her for almost the whole day before she started telling me stuff. They were making fun of her weight and her breast size (she is a little heavy, nothing crazy, and was particularly well-endowed for a 6th grader) and they made the connection of big boobs to promiscuity. It wasn't true, but the label stuck and caught on with other kids. When she finally opened up one thing she said was "how could I ever tell you and mom about that, what would you think of me? I don't want you to think of me like that." She was also afraid of reprisal for telling.

She simply did not have the social skills in 6th and 7th grade to know how to deal with something like that. Her physical development was new to her. This was the first time she had been confronted with it, and it was done cruelly. How could we expect kids to be able to be "adult" about things like that when they simply are in no way prepared for it? That is unrealistic.
 
DutchJazzer said:
nice post log but you talk about kids. yet there seems to be bullies in all ages. even in old folks home. i'm not just talking about bullying kids just bullying in generaln.
i dont have kids yet so my views might be differnt now then when i have kids getting bullied or being a bully.

but lg98 isnt your daughter "stronger" now because she had to go through adversity? imagne her not facing any adversity. till she is 18 or 21 or whatever and leaves the house. the real world is jsut full of adversity, getting bullied in a way helps her dealing with adversity, helps her dealing with a "problem". yes i know she learns problems in school math problems and whatever. but schoolteachers cant teach us anything. i am willing to ebt that this experience might benefit her in the longrun? if you understand what i'm trying to say

now this is just part of my opinion put into words as best as I can. it might also change due to me not being a parent yet. for now i will have to say it would not worry me if my kid was being bullied to a certain degree. as to say as long as the bully does not go to far. now about what going to far I am not sure about. so yeah there should be "some" bullying in live
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That is an argument you can make, but I don't think she is better off for having been bullied. She wishes it had never happened. It is a dark spot on her childhood that she has to live with now for the rest of her life. I believe that these experiences can and do make people stronger, or at least more cynical and less trusting, which is often mistaken for "strength". She may turn it to her benefit in the long run, but I do not by any stretch believe she is any better of a person, or will have any better of a life, than she would have been had she never had to endure that.

I mean that argument can go pretty far down a dark path. Is a rape victim stronger because of the assault? Does it make it ok then, or even good that it happened? I don't think anyone would argue that, but the two experiences are cut from the same cloth, a case of one person exercising control and power over another. If we are going to have that discussion, where do we draw that blurry line?
 
I hate to admit it, but I was both bullied and mainly a bully myself. I look back with disgust at some of my actions and realize that I'll never be able to right some of the wrongs. There are people who probably haven't thought about it for one second after it happened, but I imagine that there are people who remember me as the douchebag who did this/that to them. It really is something that I think about often, and it really makes me ill. That being said, a lot of good has come from it. I know I can't take things back, but I can do my best to change the lives of others in positive ways. If not for being a bully, I probably wouldn't be the way I am today. Not that I'm some awesome dude, but I am satisfied with my life and have no regrets. (except for that one threesome -- too old)

Anyhow, bullying will never end. Hopefully people learn from it, and use it as a springboard into bigger and better things. FWIW, my daughters will be taking Kick Boxing and BJJ lessons as soon as humanly possible (still trying to talk wife into it) so when the inevitable bullying occurs, they'll be able to throw on a flying triangle choke and put the jackwagon bully in his/her place.
 
Overt racism has not ended, but it has been socially ostracized. Sexism is on the way there. We can do the same for bullying, making it rare and unacceptable.
 
One Brow said:
Overt racism has not ended, but it has been socially ostracized. Sexism is on the way there. We can do the same for bullying, making it rare and unacceptable.
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Ah, the dreamy musings of a serious social engineer. . . . .

Ostracizing a fundamental human choice, then another, and another. Just can't teach humans without these displays of hate, huh? Maybe sometimes you have to fight fire with fire, when you can't raise the level of discussion to an abstract ideal, oh, say like religions sometimes do.

Let's take the whole "Whites Only" sort of business that used to thrive on the commonplace ignorance and fear. A lot of businesses feared that whites would ostracize them if they did let the "different" folks in. Nobody had the courage to break with the establishment in place. So of course you had to have northern liberals and Republicans pass federal laws and send in the federal jackbooted troops. You couldn't win this one by discussing American ideals, right? If it was only the jackbooted cops/soldiers who could secure inviolate human rights, why did Martin Luther King gain impressive audiences?

The blacks did not have it as bad as another "minority" I can think of. The blacks were obviously valuable workers, with no way to escape, and sometimes they were kept alive. The indians were "savages" that just needed to be killed. Even Abraham Lincoln just thought they should all be killed. We raised armies to do that, and when they couldn't just finish the job, we gave them pitiful little reservations and posted soldiers nearby to make sure they couldn't roam out to hunt. Some of the plains indians were so troublesome we had to have US Grant and our Congress give out free guns and ammo, and free rides on trains across the plains with the express mandate to wipe out the buffalo herds.

This to people who had lived and traded with the trappers for decades.

Government force is always the preferred tool of progressives, right.
 
So here's what can happen sometimes when a kid is being ostracized, picked on, roughed up. . . . from a personal perspective. The situation will be different in every case, perhaps, on some point or another. In my case I stood up to the bullies and took the beating and gave back the best I could. The bully herd began to thin out, and even the worst bullies just lost interest.

Then I became a sympathetic "liberal" who befriended all the miserable cowards who wouldn't/couldn't stand up for themselves.

That was not the way it began, but there was one day in my life I remember pretty well. Until then it only got worse and worse, and I did consider running away somewhere or killing myself. Some smug smartass ignoramues will just mock my story I know. It was the first day I prayed, and told God what I was thinking and why. While I was doing that, I experienced an entirely new thought. It was exactly this: "If you can endure this, you can endure anything." true story. I went into that little clump of pomegranite bushes a coward, and I came out a man. Amazing how fast it all ended after that.

If I was on a schoolground today, and I saw some stupid bully strutting his stuff, and if I was a free man in a free country, I'd be kicking someone's butt in about five seconds. Then I'd be trying to address some higher order of reasoning. I saw an example of this in "Second-hand Lion".

No bones would be broken, no lasting effects but some cogent, lucid thoughts impressively made significant to an idiot.

Maybe a bit more direct than a raft of counselors and administrators would prefer, but effective.
 
Read "Ender's Game" to see the best way to handle bullies.
 
There is a family that moved into our neighborhood last year from England. I just learned last Sunday that their only daughter (10 year old 5th grader) was getting bullied at school. Apparently some little bitch doesn't like her accent and has taken it upon herself to make her life here hell. The girl from England is very petite and small for her age so roughing up the bully isn't an option. Two weeks ago the bully took her and cut her bangs (spelling?) down to her scalp and cut the back of her hair also. The whole neighborhood is doing all we can to let these nice people know that this kind of **** is not tolerated in our school.
 
Surely said:
There is a family that moved into our neighborhood last year from England. I just learned last Sunday that their only daughter (10 year old 5th grader) was getting bullied at school. Apparently some little bitch doesn't like her accent and has taken it upon herself to make her life here hell. The girl from England is very petite and small for her age so roughing up the bully isn't an option. Two weeks ago the bully took her and cut her bangs (spelling?) down to her scalp and cut the back of her hair also. The whole neighborhood is doing all we can to let these nice people know that this kind of **** is not tolerated in our school.
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That bully needs to go down.
 
My oldest daughter (7 years old, 2nd grader) complained one day to us about a boy in school that was being mean. He had pushed her around a little and one day pushed her into a doorway hard enough to leave a bruise. The next day was parent teacher conferences. My wife brought it up to the teacher, who immediately walked them down to the principles office. They documented it, took some pictures, and talked to the boy about it. The next day, my daughter brought home a handwritten apology note from this boy. We continue to ask her about it frequently and she says the boy has bothered her again.
Unfortunately, bullying is something that will probably always exist. It sucks. Can it get to the point where it is looked upon with as much disdain as things like racism or sexism? One can hope.
 
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