I showed this to my wife and kids last night and my wife had a take I didn't think about. First it took her 3 viewings to figure out who the bully was. In her mind, the stereotype of the bully being the big fat kid and the victim being a little scrawny kid held sway. We read the article and another that talked about the incident then she could see that it was the smaller kid perpetrating the bullying. I think this also fits other stereotypes such as only men can perpetrate sexual harrassment, etc.
Now her take was this: what if the bigger kid had killed the littler kid? In my wifes eyes the fact that the retaliation by the bigger kid had so much greater potential for permanent harm put him at fault. She accepts he had to stand up for himself, and supports that, but felt the violence used was excessive. She has a point. If it had been the littler kids head that hit that wood planter box instead of his leg he could have died or been disabled.
How, if at all, does that change your view of the whole thing?
Also how about the notion that only bigger people can bully smaller people and not vice versa?
Maybe the little kid should have thought about what he was doing? Its like complaining about the dog biting you after you pulled its tail.
Your wife certainly brings up a very good point about how people always blame bulling on the big kid. This stereotype is very prominent among people. I experienced bulling growing up even though I was always one of the bigger kids my age.
I don't feel sorry for any bully. It doesn't matter what size, shape, or color they come in. The truth is bullies come from all walks of life. To stereotype who looks like a bully is part of the reason why many bullies get away with bullying. "She is too pretty and nice to be a bully" or "Why would that small kid bully a bigger kid?" is part of the problem. Bullies know that and many of them use it to their advantage.
Just look at the gang rape case (yea I know this is way above bullying but the mentality is the same) of an eleven old girl in Texas, and how the rapists families are painting their "boys" as young men who couldn't help themselves when an eleven old girl dressed too provocatively, implying that the girl deserved it. This mentality is at the heart of bullying and violence in society. The criminals/show no mercy but when they get caught they make every excuse as to why they did what they did while rarely taking responsibility for their actions. The biggest whiners are the bullies/criminals when people actually stand up to these clowns.
I spent a whole year of my life in 8th grade dreading school and living in fear because some kid decided to pick me out of a crowd and make me his personal punching bag. He shook me down for my lunch money and lunch. He knocked my books out of my hands in the hall, tripped me, pulled the chair out from under me, smacked me in the back of the head, thread to beat me to a pulp if I told etc. I put up with it for months. Finally, one day he came over to my table to take my cake from me and I picked up the piece of cake and shoved it in his face and then I went all "Ralphie" on him (see Christmas Story). I beat the crap out of the guy.
All the punishment I got from the fight was, a new piece of cake and word got around the school not to mess with me. I never had a problem in middle school again. I learned that the best way to deal with punks is to stand up and defend yourself.
It is a start that schools are actually acknowledging that a problem does exist but bullying will never go away until bullies get the message sent that their behavior is not acceptable and that there are consequences that they might not like. I don't know the law about what would have happened but all I know is I wish I had stood up for myself earlier instead of living in fear.
Unfortunately, not every kid has ability to protect themselves nor do they have the support systems at home. I have ZERO compassion for bullies even if they are getting crap at home or just going with the crowd. I don't agree with your wife that the big kid is at fault simply because he was bigger than the bully. Thinking like that makes it open season on people who are bigger than you. If you don't want to be hit then don't hit someone else. In my opinion once you start bullying you are guilty and whatever happens to the bully is his/her own fault.