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Finances and marriage........

My brother's wife comes from a super super rich family. When she was at BYU she would spend thousands and thousands a week on clothes and stuff for her freinds. When her father called her to tell her to cool it down she told her Dad "I still have tons and tons of checkbooks still in a box".............
 
Beantown said:
My brother's wife comes from a super super rich family. When she was at BYU she would spend thousands and thousands a week on clothes and stuff for her freinds. When her father called her to tell her to cool it down she told her Dad "I still have tons and tons of checkbooks still in a box".............
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How is she now with that stuff? Cuz some women are morons with money but eventually figure it out. It's not that tough.
 
Beantown said:
Your Father in Law is 45 years old?
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My wife is only 23 and she is the oldest, and she was a "*******" child ........ So ya, they are youngish, and dumb with money. In fact he just called and wants me to go to Wendover with him tonight. See dumb with money.
 
Hartsock said:
My wife is only 23 and she is the oldest, and she was a "*******" child ........ So ya, they are youngish, and dumb with money. In fact he just called and wants me to go to Wendover with him tonight. See dumb with money.
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Wendover is a long drive from Alaska.
 
HipHopAnonymous said:
I'm pretty sure you're a moron in general if you really think blank check = unlimited money.
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Let's be honest. Who's the bigger moron here? The girl, who's a kid mind you, or the adult father who gave her a blank checkbook without obviously setting any limits or having any sort of meaningful discussion with her about financial responsibility?
 
Gameface said:
I want to start an "opt out of Christmas gift giving/receiving" movement. I don't want gifts and I absolutely hate shopping for them. In my opinion 90% of the gifts I give and at least that many that I receive are total junk I don't want. I see so many of the extended family type gifts that are items that seem to be manufactured and marketed specifically to provide people with some cheap piece of junk they can pass off as a gift. The kind of crap no one would ever buy because they wanted the item, just some cutesy crap that allows them to cross a name or two off their list of obligation. I hate it so much it makes me want to yell. I just want out of the whole thing.

EDIT: maybe I could modify the movement so that it only precludes store-bought gift giving. So if someone made cookies, or a sweater, or quilt, or beer, or a dog house, or whatever, then that's fine. Just no disposable gifts.

My MIL bought for the entire family some total junk as seen on TV knife that has a stupid thing hanging off it that acts as a guide so that all your slices are the same thickness. I like to cook, so I have good knives. There's nothing in the world as awesome as having truly good knives to use when cooking, imo. They make all the difference. So anyway, I wouldn't use the piece of junk serrated blade $2 knife in the first place, and in the second place I know how to cut things uniformly and I can cut things much thinner than the thinnest setting of this stupid knife she gave me. I'm not trying to be unappreciative, but at the same time she bought everyone in the family one of these knives because she apparently found a bin full of them at big lots or something and was happy enough to be able to say she was finished with her x-mas shopping. I would have loved to save her the time and money and just tell her to cross my name off the list and don't get me anything. If it went both ways that would have honestly been the best gift I got this x-mas for the amount of stress I wouldn't have to deal with next year.
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We started donating to a charity of the gift receivers choice instead of doing presents. Saves the time looking for presents and does something really nice for someone who really needs it. Especially that time of year. You could tell some people were super hesitant at first but there is no way they were going to say "no, find me a present instead". In the end, they loved the idea and received a card with the donation in their name. I would eventually like to do this for all of the adults in the family and save the presents for the kids.
 
HipHopAnonymous said:
I'm pretty sure you're a moron in general if you really think blank check = unlimited money.
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You'd be surprised. Especially with how checks aren't used as much as they used to be. And with how little parents talk to their kids about that stuff. But it does seem common sense.

Some legislators are trying to remove Financial Literacy from the high school core. I think that may be one of the more important classes in high school.
 
CONAN said:
You'd be surprised. Especially with how checks aren't used as much as they used to be. And with how little parents talk to their kids about that stuff. But it does seem common sense.

Some legislators are trying to remove Financial Literacy from the high school core. I think that may be one of the more important classes in high school.
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Agree completely. I think one should have to pass a class before getting a bank account/credit cards, etc..
 
We have 2 salary accounts. My salary goes to all payments and daily expanses. We save the money in her account.
 
bluenote said:
We started donating to a charity of the gift receivers choice instead of doing presents. Saves the time looking for presents and does something really nice for someone who really needs it. Especially that time of year. You could tell some people were super hesitant at first but there is no way they were going to say "no, find me a present instead". In the end, they loved the idea and received a card with the donation in their name. I would eventually like to do this for all of the adults in the family and save the presents for the kids.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJvbZZWt9g4
 
CONAN said:
You'd be surprised. Especially with how checks aren't used as much as they used to be. And with how little parents talk to their kids about that stuff. But it does seem common sense.

Some legislators are trying to remove Financial Literacy from the high school core. I think that may be one of the more important classes in high school.
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The comment about checks not being used reminds me of a problem my kids have had - - they are so accustomed to doing all their banking online that when they do write a check, they forget to check whether or not the check has cleared when they look at their online balances. One or two $25 NSF fees helps to cure that!

My husband and I have one primary checking account. He is by far the primary wage earner in our household, but I pretty much pay all the bills. I'm not a big spender at all, and I generally hate shopping, so it's not like he worries that I'll be frivolous with the money. Actually, we tend to argue more when I criticize him over something he's spent money on (like $99 pay per view MMA matches.... LOL) and he can get pretty angry with me if I'm in pitbull mode about it since he's the one who's working to earn the bulk of our income.

But he did finally open his own checking account for spending because he always spent cash for everything, and he'd make $100 - $200 ATM w/d's every other day or so. The record keeping got to be a head-ache so I suggested he get his own account for those smaller everyday expenses. Every so often we'll put a chunk of money into his account and he uses it as he pleases. Plus he's using credit cards much more for things like groceries, dry cleaning, prescriptions and what-not, where he used to pay cash. Makes my life much easier.
 
I think it's easier to do if you get married relatively young before either party has substantial assets.
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Word. And the main issue there is that people generally value money over almost everything. So the challenge becomes not being possesive or arrogant over the fact that you might be brining much more to the table financially and valuing equally what the strong points that the other person has to offer. Otherwise you kind of walk in to marriage with that whole, "It's my money. Where the hell were you during the past 10 years while I was making it? " - attitude. Probably not a good thing that would endear your spouse to you.

My wife is only 23 and she is the oldest, and she was a "*******" child ........ So ya, they are youngish, and dumb with money. In fact he just called and wants me to go to Wendover with him tonight. See dumb with money.
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Haha.....That's another interesting thing that I have think about whenever I'm on the threshold of being married. Because it's no secret on this board that I like to sports bet a little bit. Might be one of things that has to hit the road Jack and never come back. And if you take account the probabilities of odds, and the human error of setting lines, and the fact that my track record is pretty dang good all things considered and that I've never even come close to losing a penny, it shouldn't be a big deal to anybody. But just on the surface, it's one of things that's still probably hard to justify when you're talking about sharing finances with another person. Like....yeah I don't think you should buy that frivolous item.....but I'm going to throw $1000 on the BYU game tonight or something because the odds look mighty favorable to me. Just seems like it wouldn't fly with about 90% of girls.
 
Duck Rodgers said:
Word. And the main issue there is that people generally value money over almost everything. So the challenge becomes not being possesive or arrogant over the fact that you might be brining much more to the table financially and valuing equally what the strong points that the other person has to offer. Otherwise you kind of walk in to marriage with that whole, "It's my money. Where the hell were you during the past 10 years while I was making it? " - attitude. Probably not a good thing that would endear your spouse to you.



Haha.....That's another interesting thing that I have think about whenever I'm on the threshold of being married. Because it's no secret on this board that I like to sports bet a little bit. And if you take account the probabilities of odds, and the human error of setting lines, and the fact that my track record is pretty dang good all things considered and that I've never even come close to losing a penny, it shouldn't be a big deal to anybody. But just on the surface, it's one of things that's still probably hard to justify when you're talking about sharing finances with another person. Like....yeah I don't think you should buy that frivolous item.....but I'm going to throw $1000 on the BYU game tonight or something because the odds look mighty favorable to me. Just seems like it wouldn't fly with about 90% of girls.
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I sports bet because I'm pretty good at it and it makes the games much more intense. I did go to Wendover, my FIL was up $700, I went to bed after losing about $150, he stayed all night and came back to the room about even. What a dummy.
 
My wife is cool with the sports "investing", mostly because I usually only talk about it when I just won:-). In reality I'm small time, and usually take out more than I put in over the course of a year. She always just tells me to buy her something if I win big.
 
Gameface said:
I want to start an "opt out of Christmas gift giving/receiving" movement. I don't want gifts and I absolutely hate shopping for them. In my opinion 90% of the gifts I give and at least that many that I receive are total junk I don't want. I see so many of the extended family type gifts that are items that seem to be manufactured and marketed specifically to provide people with some cheap piece of junk they can pass off as a gift. The kind of crap no one would ever buy because they wanted the item, just some cutesy crap that allows them to cross a name or two off their list of obligation. I hate it so much it makes me want to yell. I just want out of the whole thing.

EDIT: maybe I could modify the movement so that it only precludes store-bought gift giving. So if someone made cookies, or a sweater, or quilt, or beer, or a dog house, or whatever, then that's fine. Just no disposable gifts.

My MIL bought for the entire family some total junk as seen on TV knife that has a stupid thing hanging off it that acts as a guide so that all your slices are the same thickness. I like to cook, so I have good knives. There's nothing in the world as awesome as having truly good knives to use when cooking, imo. They make all the difference. So anyway, I wouldn't use the piece of junk serrated blade $2 knife in the first place, and in the second place I know how to cut things uniformly and I can cut things much thinner than the thinnest setting of this stupid knife she gave me. I'm not trying to be unappreciative, but at the same time she bought everyone in the family one of these knives because she apparently found a bin full of them at big lots or something and was happy enough to be able to say she was finished with her x-mas shopping. I would have loved to save her the time and money and just tell her to cross my name off the list and don't get me anything. If it went both ways that would have honestly been the best gift I got this x-mas for the amount of stress I wouldn't have to deal with next year.
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At least on my wife's side of the family we've cut back some. My wife has two siblings and so the siblings and their spouses don't give each other gifts - we just get gifts for nieces and nephews. On my side of the family we haven't implemented that yet as I only have one sibling and he isn't married and has no kids.
 
moevillini said:
The comment about checks not being used reminds me of a problem my kids have had - - they are so accustomed to doing all their banking online that when they do write a check, they forget to check whether or not the check has cleared when they look at their online balances. One or two $25 NSF fees helps to cure that!

My husband and I have one primary checking account. He is by far the primary wage earner in our household, but I pretty much pay all the bills. I'm not a big spender at all, and I generally hate shopping, so it's not like he worries that I'll be frivolous with the money. Actually, we tend to argue more when I criticize him over something he's spent money on (like $99 pay per view MMA matches.... LOL) and he can get pretty angry with me if I'm in pitbull mode about it since he's the one who's working to earn the bulk of our income.

But he did finally open his own checking account for spending because he always spent cash for everything, and he'd make $100 - $200 ATM w/d's every other day or so. The record keeping got to be a head-ache so I suggested he get his own account for those smaller everyday expenses. Every so often we'll put a chunk of money into his account and he uses it as he pleases. Plus he's using credit cards much more for things like groceries, dry cleaning, prescriptions and what-not, where he used to pay cash. Makes my life much easier.
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I always thought you were a guy. Probably because of your avatar....
 
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