I just got married. Advice?

[bigb]

Give her time to do what she wants to do. Without you. Don't be so jealous or insecure that you don't let her hang out with her friends (even if they're guys) without you. And ask her to do the same for you. No matter how much you love each other and want to spend time together, you both need time apart. It's that simple.
Be open and honest with each other. Tell her how you feel, and get her to do the same. Be open to hearing her criticism of you. What she says is valid in her eyes, even if you don't see it or agree with it.
Talk about your finances together. Have a budget and STICK TO IT!!! That's the one thing my wife and I aren't very good at, and it's led to more than one fight.
I agree that the whole "don't go to sleep angry" is a load of ****. Sometimes that's the BEST thing you can do.
I love to surprise my wife with some flowers for no reason. I know it's something she loves as well. The flowers at Sam's Club come with a one week guarantee and are usually fairly cheap.
Oh, and this:

get the **** off of jazzfanz and go nail ur wife

 

[catzies]

Wow, there are actually some wise and sensible ideas in this thread. From this bunch. Nice.

Many congrats Archie and many years of happiness to you and Mrs. Archie.

 

[moevillini]

I hope you did your research.

Been married 18ish years and I'd say the one thing that has helped our marriage a ton and the thing I see wreck other marriages is good, honest communication. If you have it, you'll be fine. If you don't, you're doomed.

good, honest communication is very important, but knowing when to keep your mouth shut is equally important. learn it and practice it. that's probably one of the toughest aspects.

you don't have to comment on everything, or resolve every issue, at least not immediately.

as it's been said already, sometimes you just have to go to bed angry. I'm not going to advocate "sleeping on the couch" but sometimes it's just best if one of you calls it a night before the other, because otherwise, the discussions and arguments just keep resurrecting themselves, it's like in the sit-coms only it's not as funny.

oh, and Congrats again - you two look wonderful! And congrats to jazmanian devil as well on your recent marriage.

 

[VINYLONE]

Wow. There's some horrible advice in this thread.

Archie, thanks for posting a picture of her.

 

[Gyp Rosetti]

Wow. There's some horrible advice in this thread.

Aren't you single?

 

[roseparkjazzfan]

RUN!!! but good luck

 

[Hopper]

Best wishes, Archie!

My condolences.

Jist kiddin.

 

[Beantown]

Just make sure she knows that you want to hang out with her and do things togethor. It seems the only time my wife really gets mad is when I go hang out with friends too much, golfing, basketball, man movies etc...

So if you have alot of close friends be careful about that.

 

[VINYLONE]

*together
*a lot

 

[moevillini]

good advice, viny - I sure hope archie takes it to heart!

 

[honz]

Only make love in order to procreate so that you can go to the celestial kingdom upon death.

 

[moevillini]

Only make love in order to procreate so that you can go to the celestial kingdom upon death.

sorry honz, if I hadn't given out so much rep in the last 24 hours, I'd dock you a point for that one. but I guess you're getting away with it this time.

This is foolish advice Archie. You can make love at any time for any reason. You just can't have unprotected intercourse unless you're procreating. The concept of making love does not apply - - I mean, do dogs make love? Do aardvarks make love? Do hippos make love? No, that's a ridiculous concept! So don't pay any attention to what Honz says.

Besides, anything other than unprotected intercourse is just mimicing (sic) anyhow.

 

[C l u t c H 385]

Married? That ***** So gay!!!

 

[Jazz4ever]

I'm giving it 6 months....just kidding, congrats.

 

[bigb]

Only make love in order to procreate so that you can go to the celestial kingdom upon death.

sorry honz, if I hadn't given out so much rep in the last 24 hours, I'd dock you a point for that one. but I guess you're getting away with it this time.

This is foolish advice Archie. You can make love at any time for any reason. You just can't have unprotected intercourse unless you're procreating. The concept of making love does not apply - - I mean, do dogs make love? Do aardvarks make love? Do hippos make love? No, that's a ridiculous concept! So don't pay any attention to what Honz says.

Besides, anything other than unprotected intercourse is just mimicing (sic) anyhow.

Someone took that WAY too literal.

 

[CONAN]

good, honest communication is very important, but knowing when to keep your mouth shut is equally important. learn it and practice it.

Indeed. Be more of a listener versus just waiting for the other to stop talking so you can talk.

Also, keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half shut after.

 

[colton]

good, honest communication is very important, but knowing when to keep your mouth shut is equally important. learn it and practice it.

Indeed. Be more of a listener versus just waiting for the other to stop talking so you can talk.

Also, keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half shut after.

I endorse that advice. (Moe's as well as Conan's.)

 

[pbash]

First things first. Put a damn jersey on that girl

 

[Scat]

It is very easy to get caught up in justifying poor treatment of your spouse based on their past actions. When your wife comes to you with a complaint don't try and justify your behaviour by bringing up something that she did 6 months ago. Sometimes she will just need to vent and all you need to do is listen and tell her you're sorry and love her. Hopefully she can do likewise. Human behaviour tends to dictate that you defend yourself when feeling "attacked".

 

[candrew]

It is very easy to get caught up in justifying poor treatment of your spouse based on their past actions. When your wife comes to you with a complaint don't try and justify your behaviour by bringing up something that she did 6 months ago. Sometimes she will just need to vent and all you need to do is listen and tell her you're sorry and love her. Hopefully she can do likewise. Human behaviour tends to dictate that you defend yourself when feeling "attacked".

Very true - one of the reasons why I didn't get married until after I was 30.

When you get caught up in the habit of "one-upsmanship" it's the road to a toxic relationship. And it's not easy - it takes a lot of maturity to just let things go.