Infidelity

[TroutBum]

I'd divorce her. Ask for full custody of the kids and alimony. It's what she(most women) would do if the exact opposite happened.

If she has been cheating for 4 years:

A) doesn't love you
B) doesn't respect you
C) probably is hiding other stuff
D) would probably do it again

I'd be out.

My thoughts exactly. I can't imagine getting a bigger **** YOU than that. I'd take her for every damn nickel I could get, make sure my kids went with me, and we'd move to Seattle and buy a fishing boat. Boo ya.


Is it kinda sad that I want my wife to cheat on me now? My boat is gonna ROCK, eh!

 

[pickledXgrandma]

Does Wayne Brady need to choke a bitch??

 

[Hartsock]

I have no idea what I would do, but I do know if there was any way I might not get full custody of my daughter that would make it really really hard to get a divorce.

 

[candrew]

My guess is the cheater is his wife's sister.

Edit: If this is the case, watch out.

The husband is my wife's brother - I'm not related to the cheater at all.

 

[fallenchicken]

I would get out my gun!

 

[bigb]

This has to be more uncommon than common don't you think?

No doubt about it. I don't think I could do it.

 

[nightmare3983]

I have no idea what I would do, but I do know if there was any way I might not get full custody of my daughter that would make it really really hard to get a divorce.

That raises a great point. I'm not going to look for evidence on this, but there seems to be a perception that women get preferential treatment in child custody cases. At least I have that perception.

 

[bigb]

That raises a great point. I'm not going to look for evidence on this, but there seems to be a perception that women get preferential treatment in child custody cases. At least I have that perception.

I know that in Utah, the laws are written to specifically benefit the mom. Dads usually get screwed.

 

[Chad Feldheimer]

I know that in Utah, the laws are written to specifically benefit the mom. Dads usually get screwed.

Guys always get screwed.

thus alimony is sometimes called vaginamony.

 

[One Brow]

For background, my wife told me about an affair she was having. This was 9 years ago or so. We are still together, still quite happy.

The marriage does not need to be toxic. However, now that this is open, your brother and his wife need to ask deep questions of themselves and each other.

Is his wife really suited to monogamy (many humans are not)? If not, can he accept this? If yes, what did she gain from this relationship that her husband could provide instead?

How important is exclusive genital access to the marriage? Is it more important any shared dreams or goals? Or, have the other dreams and goals changed, and sex became the last bit of commonality?

What will the rules be for future temptations? Will they be allowed to ask each other if they found a particular person attractive? Will they agree to answer such questions honestly, and keep to that agreement? Can they do it without jealousy or recrimination?

 

[leftyjace]

For background, my wife told me about an affair she was having. This was 9 years ago or so. We are still together, still quite happy.

The marriage does not need to be toxic. However, now that this is open, your brother and his wife need to ask deep questions of themselves and each other.

Is his wife really suited to monogamy (many humans are not)? If not, can he accept this? If yes, what did she gain from this relationship that her husband could provide instead?

How important is exclusive genital access to the marriage? Is it more important any shared dreams or goals? Or, have the other dreams and goals changed, and sex became the last bit of commonality?

What will the rules be for future temptations? Will they be allowed to ask each other if they found a particular person attractive? Will they agree to answer such questions honestly, and keep to that agreement? Can they do it without jealousy or recrimination?

I do believe One Brow just implied that he and his wife are now swingers.

 

[PearlWatson]

I do believe One Brow just implied that he and his wife are now swingers.

that's what I got from it

 

[One Brow]

I do believe One Brow just implied that he and his wife are now swingers.

That's a curious implication to make.

 

[nightmare3983]

Guys always get screwed.

thus alimony is sometimes called vaginamony.

The situation isn't funny, but this post definitely was!

 

[One Brow]

I know that in Utah, the laws are written to specifically benefit the mom. Dads usually get screwed.

Guys always get screwed.

thus alimony is sometimes called vaginamony.

It's part of the price we pay for maintaining the patriarchy. Overall, men benefit to a much greater degree.

 

[DarkMount]

This has to be more uncommon than common don't you think?

I also know a couple that is much stronger because of a cheating situation. But it was a one time while drunk and really depressed situation. They finally talked to each other and figured out the issues, fixed them and learned to grow from it. He didn't even know they were having issues cause she just kept it all inside. They also had a kid and he was the main reason they worked on it. He thought for sure he was going to leave her, but just couldn't. He said you never know how you will react until it happens to you.

Personally I understand that, but the fact that this happened over the course of 4 years says more to me. I don't think I could stay if it was over 4 years as opposed to the one time thing. But like I said, you never know how you will react.

 

[Stoked]

That's a curious implication to make.

And yet one you have not denied. (so far)

 

[bigb]

I do believe One Brow just implied that he and his wife are now swingers.

That's a curious implication to make.

If memory serves me correctly (and it usually doesn't), I think you mentioned that at one point in time you were, but not currently?

 

[nightmare3983]

It's part of the price we pay for maintaining the patriarchy. Overall, men benefit to a much greater degree.

Can we contain the patriarchy talk to the other thread?

 

[One Brow]

And yet one you have not denied. (so far)

You mean, because the implication is so horrendous, I would feel the need to deny it immediately if it were not true?

If you really care to know, ask.