Lucifer, enter this thread.

[Jesus Christ]

Listen, I've had about enough of you without you ******** all over my favorite forum. Let me reveal a few things to you:

1. So you constantly brag about how your purpose on Earth is to tempt humans away from myself and God. Did you ever step back and notice that this is part of our plan, that we WANT you to do this? So, you know, we can judge people for how good they did? Do you realize that if you did NOTHING, I would be ****ed? No temptation means no trials? Everybody seems to realize this but you. "Cunning" my ***. You're still on the payroll, buddy.

2. You think you "rule the waters"? What kind of ******** is that? You don't, sorry. I know Joseph Smith convinced you of that when he fell off some canoe or whatever, but seriously, it's the ocean man.

3. Hey, you know the secret powers you have to float around in a dark cloud and enter people's minds, hearts, etc? Steal people's keys? Who gave that power to you? Why do you have it when other spirits don't? That's right dude, you're being used.

Hopefully this post shattered your spirit enough to get you the **** off this forum, and eventually, the internet. Thanks. Don't forget to love one another, you piece of ****.

 

[Lucifer]

My Brother,

Oh, how butt-hurt you must feel right now. You talk a big, sitting in your throne of light and power, but you don't have the game to back it up. While you're lounging there with chorus' of angels feeding your every whim, I've been down in the trenches working for the salvation of Men. All that hate-speech that you posted above is nothing more than Heavenly Propaganda, meant only to weaken the minds of the intelligent, and destroy the minds of the foolish. I, for one, will not fall for such fallacy! You and your Klan of so-called righteous do-gooders are losing this war, but you refuse to see the forest for the trees. (I know, I know... it's shocking) All anyone needs is to take a look around at every day life. Hell, look at the threads/people on this board for your confirmation.

We have transgendered he/she's spreading the word that your body is a playground, and that we are here on Earth only to satisfy our wants and desires.
Obesity.
Oil spills.
Unchecked wars all over the Middle East. (all in the name of God, lol)
Corruption and greed at every level of government.
The Lakers Vs. The Celtics
Lady GaGa.

I could go on and on, but I don't have thousands of years. (hehe, I do, actually) The point is this, Brother: Rule the water? Nah, that's a wives tale. Secret powers? Nah, that's also a rumor. I have as much power as you do, and we both know you're a hack. And as far as me "Doing Nothing", I guess you just don't get it. All this time you and your ilk have been putting up churches, temples, etc. while trying to bring in your fold, you've done nothing but alienate the rest of us. Your pious attitudes are what have driven the masses to my cause. If and when blame needs to be given, you need look no further than your reflection.

Anyhow, I enjoyed your comments above, little brother, I hope you really didn't mean them.

Yours in loathing,

Lucifer.

 

[Lucifer]

That being said, I think I will retire from this board. I enjoyed the few fleeting moments I had here, but I can see that it is disturbing my brother.

Be excellent to each other.

 

[UB]

Take out your bigoted anti-LGBTQ schpiel, and this would have been totally fun to read.

Try again?

 

[sirkickyass]

Is anyone else thrilled that Lucifer is a Bill and Ted fan?

 

[Bronco70]

Is anyone else thrilled that Lucifer is a Bill and Ted fan?

Actually, that makes total sense.