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Malone as a model for Fesenko

idiot

Well-Known Member
You know how David Thorpe annually identifies an established player individual rookies should try to learn from? Maybe this is simply stating the obvious, but it seems that a great model for Fesenko would be Karl Malone. I'm not even talking about work ethic, which is surely a hopeless cause, but as players with similar attributes. The video tributes to Malone reminded me just how devastating and powerful Malone was a fast-break runner, especially early in his career. It seems to the extent we can say Fes has NBA attributes, they're almost the same as the ones Malone brought to the table:
Good athlete
Much better at running than jumping (or quickness generally)
Superior physical strength/frame
Not particularly refined low-post moves (esp. early in career for Malone, but managed with bull-in-china-shop approach)
Willing passer

Of course I'm not saying Fesenko can ever compare to Malone, but simply that he'd benefit greatly from learning to take better advantage of the attributes he has, and it's hard to think of anyone better than Malone as a model for developing these.
 
Yeah, Ostertag never benefitted from Malone's tutelage. O just didn't have the chip on his shoulder that drove Malone. Fes seems a lot more like O in temperament.

With Malone all you'd have to do is say "You Suck" and Malone would be motivated to prove you wrong.
Ostertag - no one ever figured out how to motivate him.
Fes? He's more like O than Malone. --But he seems fairly simple, like an ape, and I bet you could motivate him with some kind of nightly reward - like a banana - if he gets x amount rebounds, x amount blocked shots, x amount of slam dunks, etc.
 
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I'm more and more convinced of the banana model to motivate Fes.

The coaches could try some different banana/prize every night. And after spending so many nights working to win the prize, Fes might get really good. Eventually his prize would shift from a banana/movie tickets/sunglasses to just dominating his competition.

Yeah, I'm convinced I'm a brilliant psychoanalyst mind-games coach. Malone will do Fes no good - Fes isn't wired like Malone. But the "banana" model? YOU BETCHA!!
 
I think Fes would respond more positively if the prize was something other than a banana: cigarettes and ... uh ... "women of negotiable affection" come to mind.
 
Yes. The banana was merely a metaphor. Cigarettes, vodka, and women are all prizes to motivate him.
 
If you could transplant Malone's brain into Fesenko's head, you would probably have one of the most dominant centers to play the game.
 
Yes I am an idiot. And since it takes us idiots longer to understand, let me put the issue somewhat differently in hopes of getting more detailed answers.

Given Fes's specific athletic/basketball attributes, what player should he try to model his game after?

You can argue that it's stupid for for a player in general to model his game after another player's, or that it's hopeless for Fes specifically, given his head, to model his game after someone else. But if you think there's value in using another player's game to give direction to one's own efforts, who do you think Fes would be wise to use as a model? I say Malone. I could also see Shaq or Oden. But since Malone and (potentially) Fes seem like better runners than jumpers, I'm going with Malone. Any other ideas?
 
If you could transplant Malone's brain into Fesenko's head, you would probably have one of the most dominant centers to play the game.
I tried running this idea through ESPN's Trade Machine, and it said I needed one more brain to make the transaction balanced.
 
Karl_Malone_Lifting_Weights.265192321_std.jpg


Is that a good enough model for fes?
 
I heard that Carlos Boozer used Karl Malone as his inspiration when playing defence. Every time he walked past the Mailman's statue out the front of the ESA, he'd say to himself, "Yeah, that's how to play defence!"
 
I tried running this idea through ESPN's Trade Machine, and it said I needed one more brain to make the transaction balanced.
On which side of the transaction?

(This thread is probably the first time ever that it has been suggested that Karl Malone's brain be used for a transplant.)
 
Yes I am an idiot. And since it takes us idiots longer to understand, let me put the issue somewhat differently in hopes of getting more detailed answers.

Given Fes's specific athletic/basketball attributes, what player should he try to model his game after?

You can argue that it's stupid for for a player in general to model his game after another player's, or that it's hopeless for Fes specifically, given his head, to model his game after someone else. But if you think there's value in using another player's game to give direction to one's own efforts, who do you think Fes would be wise to use as a model? I say Malone. I could also see Shaq or Oden. But since Malone and (potentially) Fes seem like better runners than jumpers, I'm going with Malone. Any other ideas?
I think Fes should model hsi game after Shaq. They're both big, strong and can't hit a FT to save their lives. Seriously, "modeling" your game after someone else is assinine, especially when you're a scrub like Fes. He'll never have the athleticism of Karl, never be able to hit the mid-range shot that Malone developed in his middle years. And look at that pic of Malone that Shad posted. Does Fes have the dedication to work that hard on his body?

What Fes needs to do is just concentrate on DEFENSE and stop being a clown. It's great to make everyone laugh in the locker room or in pre- and post-game interviews. But there's a time to get down to business...and that's in the weight room and in practice. Malone had a maniacal work ethic. Fes would rather be goofing off. Fes is like a 100 other borderline NBA players: he has the size and decent skills, but he just isn't putting in the time and effort to take it to the next level. In that respect, he ain't a helluva lot better than John Amaechi. Amaechi flashed some skills, but was content to collect a minimal NBA paycheck, then go home and put out fresh flowers by the door and some Barbara Streisand on the ol' record player.
 
I think Fes would respond more positively if the prize was something other than a banana: cigarettes and ... uh ... "women of negotiable affection" come to mind.


LOL, yeah, and maybe she can ask him about the banana in his pocket....



and what little i've seen of Fes, he doesn't seem the type to want to model himself after anybody. that'd be too much work. OK, maybe he'd model himself after Homer Simpson, I don't know. But maybe I have him all wrong. Maybe he's more like Lisa.
 
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