I’m giving this one last shot for a game thread. If we lose, I’m going to take a break from game threads for a while.
In any case, Friday we face a conference rival (ish?), an up-and-coming team, and one of our largest historical trade partners. It doesn’t feel like long ago that these guys were an expansion team.
This guy is known to be a huge fan:
His loyalty may be tested tonight.
Of course, who could forget our first trade with Minnesota, wherein we sent out Jazz legend Big T Bailey and got back this guy?
We got more from Thurl on the court (both stints) than Corbin, as well as Thurl having a better comparable broadcasting career than Corbin’s coaching career. Of course, Corbin hired himself some good representation when he was let go:
And who could forget when we sent out this guy:
To get back Jefferdad?
Why they call him Big Al?
And, of course, this summer we got Little Ricky, who’s out for a bit of revenge of his own:
Of course, we both lost to the Cavs here:
So tonight we look to start another win streak. The Wolves currently sit in third place, somehow. Jimmy Butler is out. They’re left with KAT, Wiggins, and Teague. We’ve got Mitchell, Gobert, and Ingles, but there is a bigger key matchup tonight:
It’s time to buckle up! If you read a bit further down and are getting lost, don’t worry! New technology will enhance your viewing pleasure! Remember scratch-and-sniff books? Well there’s a new digital version of scratch-and-lick. Go ahead, try it out! Here’s a hit of acid. You’re probably going to need it!:
The continued saga of Scotty Layden:
After Rufus appeared to Scotty, he went on a time-traveling expedition.
Layden unlocked several pieces of future information for his benefit. He landed us John and Karl, thinking that his future would be rock solid after landing two hall-of-famers in back-to-back drafts. He watched his future rise, and he even witnessed himself becoming GM of the New York Knicks, living in the largest sports market in the world. However, he also saw his downfall and demise, and eventual return to Utah as an assistant coach. “No worries,” he thought. “I will work my way back to the top and when KOC leaves, I will reign from the Jordan River to the ends of the Salt Lake Valley!”
As Layden continued to explore the space-time-continuum with his phone booth, he saw what he believed was the ultimate sign of betrayal from the Utah Jazz organization: the hiring of Dennis Lindsey. “How could this happen to me,” he asked. “After everything I’ve done for this franchise!” Infuriated, Layden stepped into that phone booth and began punching the phone dial with such great force that the electronics scrambled, malfunctioned, a bolt of lightening struck the phone booth, transporting Scotty to a very strange world.
When he awoke, things were unusual – colors were different, sounds were elementary, and he found himself imprisoned in a new dimension.
Yes, Scotty found himself trapped in Mike Tyson’s Punch Out. He spent the next 10 years fighting for his freedom, fueling his angst, and plotting his revenge. He spent 10 years of continually getting pushed around by Iron Mike himself.
To this day, Layden swears that, while he was metaphysically trapped in an NES consule, his physical body remained in this dimension in a catatonic state, and was abused by James Dolan as a front for his own decisions – Layden claims no responsibility.
Meanwhile, another fire rises:
Little Jae Crowder, circa 1992. Living the dream. His father playing professionally in the NBA for the Utah Jazz. Having his father around to help coach him on his game, teach him how to talk, and to teach him how to beat Mike Tyson in a game of Punch Out (something that didn’t take Corey 10 years to figure out). Jae had it good. Until the day Jae had it not so good.
November 2, 1993: Scotty Layden waives Corey Crowder from the Utah Jazz.
Jae’s life turned upside down. His father, once his trusted mentor, now thrust to the other side of the globe to earn a living. Jae becomes angry, resentful, and full of angst. Jae misses the father & son campouts and misses “Donuts with Dad” day at his elementary. Jae’s resentment grows, and Jae focuses all of his anger into training for the day he will faceoff against the man that stole his childhood from him:
Meanwhile, Scotty Layden continues to be enslaved in pixels and works to earn his freedom.
May, 2010:
After years of fighting Iron Mike, Scotty goes up for the fight of his life. He’s blocking jabs left and right, while connecting on a few of his own. As things heat up, Scotty inches closer to victory as a hole starts to tear in the fabric of the space-time-continuum. Scotty is literally fighting his way back to his home dimension, and as he battles Mike himself, reality starts to change in it’s final moments.
Finally Scott lands the final blow:
The hole through the space-time-continuum fully explodes:
Little Scotty has won his freedom and he is teleported back to Salt Lake City in 2010, but in the process the energy expended by the universe completely obliterates JazzFanz and all threads become erased from existence.
. . . . CONTINUED BELOW . . . .
In any case, Friday we face a conference rival (ish?), an up-and-coming team, and one of our largest historical trade partners. It doesn’t feel like long ago that these guys were an expansion team.
This guy is known to be a huge fan:
His loyalty may be tested tonight.
Of course, who could forget our first trade with Minnesota, wherein we sent out Jazz legend Big T Bailey and got back this guy?
We got more from Thurl on the court (both stints) than Corbin, as well as Thurl having a better comparable broadcasting career than Corbin’s coaching career. Of course, Corbin hired himself some good representation when he was let go:
And who could forget when we sent out this guy:
To get back Jefferdad?
Why they call him Big Al?
And, of course, this summer we got Little Ricky, who’s out for a bit of revenge of his own:
Of course, we both lost to the Cavs here:
So tonight we look to start another win streak. The Wolves currently sit in third place, somehow. Jimmy Butler is out. They’re left with KAT, Wiggins, and Teague. We’ve got Mitchell, Gobert, and Ingles, but there is a bigger key matchup tonight:
It’s time to buckle up! If you read a bit further down and are getting lost, don’t worry! New technology will enhance your viewing pleasure! Remember scratch-and-sniff books? Well there’s a new digital version of scratch-and-lick. Go ahead, try it out! Here’s a hit of acid. You’re probably going to need it!:
The continued saga of Scotty Layden:
After Rufus appeared to Scotty, he went on a time-traveling expedition.
Layden unlocked several pieces of future information for his benefit. He landed us John and Karl, thinking that his future would be rock solid after landing two hall-of-famers in back-to-back drafts. He watched his future rise, and he even witnessed himself becoming GM of the New York Knicks, living in the largest sports market in the world. However, he also saw his downfall and demise, and eventual return to Utah as an assistant coach. “No worries,” he thought. “I will work my way back to the top and when KOC leaves, I will reign from the Jordan River to the ends of the Salt Lake Valley!”
As Layden continued to explore the space-time-continuum with his phone booth, he saw what he believed was the ultimate sign of betrayal from the Utah Jazz organization: the hiring of Dennis Lindsey. “How could this happen to me,” he asked. “After everything I’ve done for this franchise!” Infuriated, Layden stepped into that phone booth and began punching the phone dial with such great force that the electronics scrambled, malfunctioned, a bolt of lightening struck the phone booth, transporting Scotty to a very strange world.
When he awoke, things were unusual – colors were different, sounds were elementary, and he found himself imprisoned in a new dimension.
Yes, Scotty found himself trapped in Mike Tyson’s Punch Out. He spent the next 10 years fighting for his freedom, fueling his angst, and plotting his revenge. He spent 10 years of continually getting pushed around by Iron Mike himself.
To this day, Layden swears that, while he was metaphysically trapped in an NES consule, his physical body remained in this dimension in a catatonic state, and was abused by James Dolan as a front for his own decisions – Layden claims no responsibility.
Meanwhile, another fire rises:
Little Jae Crowder, circa 1992. Living the dream. His father playing professionally in the NBA for the Utah Jazz. Having his father around to help coach him on his game, teach him how to talk, and to teach him how to beat Mike Tyson in a game of Punch Out (something that didn’t take Corey 10 years to figure out). Jae had it good. Until the day Jae had it not so good.
November 2, 1993: Scotty Layden waives Corey Crowder from the Utah Jazz.
Jae’s life turned upside down. His father, once his trusted mentor, now thrust to the other side of the globe to earn a living. Jae becomes angry, resentful, and full of angst. Jae misses the father & son campouts and misses “Donuts with Dad” day at his elementary. Jae’s resentment grows, and Jae focuses all of his anger into training for the day he will faceoff against the man that stole his childhood from him:
Meanwhile, Scotty Layden continues to be enslaved in pixels and works to earn his freedom.
May, 2010:
After years of fighting Iron Mike, Scotty goes up for the fight of his life. He’s blocking jabs left and right, while connecting on a few of his own. As things heat up, Scotty inches closer to victory as a hole starts to tear in the fabric of the space-time-continuum. Scotty is literally fighting his way back to his home dimension, and as he battles Mike himself, reality starts to change in it’s final moments.
Finally Scott lands the final blow:
The hole through the space-time-continuum fully explodes:
Little Scotty has won his freedom and he is teleported back to Salt Lake City in 2010, but in the process the energy expended by the universe completely obliterates JazzFanz and all threads become erased from existence.
. . . . CONTINUED BELOW . . . .
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