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Stupid Pet Peeves

Not that I nor anyone else owes you an explanation of how illnesses are managed, but I don't use motorized carts because I'm stubborn and fight every single day not to give up more of my life than I already have (which is why I didn't get a disabled plate as soon as I should have). I hate being sick, and I hate looking sick. I use a cart as a walker (usually I pick one up in the parking lot). Most of the time I use grocery pickup at WalMart to do my shopping for me, or have someone else pick up things for me, but on occasion I have to go into a store. I spend as little time as possible there.

Many of the younger people in my disease support group have people harass them about "not looking sick" or "being too young to be sick" when they use a disabled spot. My national association has cards printed up that you can hand to people explaining the illness. It's ridiculous that we have to justify ourselves to others who know nothing about us. We are a society that thinks we have the right to judge without information.

I'm sure there are people that take advantage, but I trust karma to take care of them. :cool:
 
On November 5, 2005, I woke up sick. I thought I had the flu or some virus. I never got better. But the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Although my job tried to be supportive by changing my job duties and letting me work less hours, they forced me to quit a little over a year later. I moved in with my mom. After a year or so, I started working part time and increased to a full-time job, but my career as a legal secretary was over. I've had to take jobs for less than half my previous salary. I had to learn how to manage my illness (undetermined chronic autoimmune condition), but it changed everything about my life. I went through a period of depression and was suicidal for a brief time (I got help, fortunately). It is really hard to be sick when few people believe you are sick.

And then four years ago, I got even sicker. After another 1.5 years, I was diagnosed with a rare disease that has an average lifespan of 5-7 years after diagnosis because there are few treatments. And I was relieved because at least people would now believe me. That's just sad.

Anyway, I tend to believe that people who say they are sick really are. Even if they are hypochondriacs and the illness is more mental than physical, they are still sick. However, the medical profession does not understand so many illnesses and conditions that just because the doctor doesn't know what is wrong doesn't mean that there isn't something wrong.

So I feel sad for all of us that live our lives in illness and pain, or who have had to watch others go through it. Life is hard. Fortunately there are enough beautiful moments that make it worth sticking around. But I really need the Jazz to win a championship within the next few years.
 
JazzGal said:
Not that I nor anyone else owes you an explanation of how illnesses are managed, but I don't use motorized carts because I'm stubborn and fight every single day not to give up more of my life than I already have (which is why I didn't get a disabled plate as soon as I should have). I hate being sick, and I hate looking sick. I use a cart as a walker (usually I pick one up in the parking lot). Most of the time I use grocery pickup at WalMart to do my shopping for me, or have someone else pick up things for me, but on occasion I have to go into a store. I spend as little time as possible there.

Many of the younger people in my disease support group have people harass them about "not looking sick" or "being too young to be sick" when they use a disabled spot. My national association has cards printed up that you can hand to people explaining the illness. It's ridiculous that we have to justify ourselves to others who know nothing about us. We are a society that thinks we have the right to judge without information.

I'm sure there are people that take advantage, but I trust karma to take care of them. :cool:
Click to expand...

Thank you for the explanation (even though didn’t owe it to me ;)).
Looks like I get spend more time and energy working on myself than I thought. That’s a good thing.
 
JazzGal said:
On November 5, 2005, I woke up sick. I thought I had the flu or some virus. I never got better. But the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Although my job tried to be supportive by changing my job duties and letting me work less hours, they forced me to quit a little over a year later. I moved in with my mom. After a year or so, I started working part time and increased to a full-time job, but my career as a legal secretary was over. I've had to take jobs for less than half my previous salary. I had to learn how to manage my illness (undetermined chronic autoimmune condition), but it changed everything about my life. I went through a period of depression and was suicidal for a brief time (I got help, fortunately). It is really hard to be sick when few people believe you are sick.

And then four years ago, I got even sicker. After another 1.5 years, I was diagnosed with a rare disease that has an average lifespan of 5-7 years after diagnosis because there are few treatments. And I was relieved because at least people would now believe me. That's just sad.

Anyway, I tend to believe that people who say they are sick really are. Even if they are hypochondriacs and the illness is more mental than physical, they are still sick. However, the medical profession does not understand so many illnesses and conditions that just because the doctor doesn't know what is wrong doesn't mean that there isn't something wrong.

So I feel sad for all of us that live our lives in illness and pain, or who have had to watch others go through it. Life is hard. Fortunately there are enough beautiful moments that make it worth sticking around. But I really need the Jazz to win a championship within the next few years.
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Sorry to hear that, JG. I knew you have been sick for a while but didn't realize it was that bad.

Sadly your first paragraph was essentially a spot on description of my wife. An undetermined chronic autoimmune condition. She went from being pretty healthy to being seriously ill rather quickly, and now can only work a few hours each day (work around the house, I mean, no way could she have an outside job). And she's had to deal with the depression and suicidal thoughts that go with that as well. And with people not believing her. She is still undiagnosed, and I understand completely about how it could be relieving to finally get a diagnosis even if it's a horrible one. Hugs.
 
bigb said:
Thank you for the explanation (even though didn’t owe it to me ;)).
Looks like I get spend more time and energy working on myself than I thought. That’s a good thing.
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Sorry if I was a little hard on you. It's just a pet peeve of mine.

I don't really have a problem with this anyway. We are all free to think what we want about people. I do have a problem with the ones that feel it is their responsibility to comment on a complete stranger's behavior (unless it is harming someone else).

Now if that guy really was misusing it, I'm going to be annoyed that I went after you, sharing way too much of myself in the process. Good thing I'll never know.

I had a paraplegic friend, and I understand the difficulties of not being able to find parking. Too many places have one or two spots only, and with our aging baby boomer population, more is needed.

On a lighter note - I hate looking sick and don't always have a cane with me. Stupid pride. But sometimes I suddenly become very dizzy and need to take the arm of whomever I'm with. My mother is 81 years old and very healthy. It is our joke that she's supposed to look sick whenever I'm hanging on to her so I'll look like I'm helping her.

Sent from my moto z3 using JazzFanz mobile app
 
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colton said:
Sorry to hear that, JG. I knew you have been sick for a while but didn't realize it was that bad.

Sadly your first paragraph was essentially a spot on description of my wife. An undetermined chronic autoimmune condition. She went from being pretty healthy to being seriously ill rather quickly, and now can only work a few hours each day (work around the house, I mean, no way could she have an outside job). And she's had to deal with the depression and suicidal thoughts that go with that as well. And with people not believing her. She is still undiagnosed, and I understand completely about how it could be relieving to finally get a diagnosis even if it's a horrible one. Hugs.
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I'm so sorry for you and your wife. It's been really hard taking care of just myself, and I can't imagine having a family as well. Best wishes to your wife, and I hope for all of us that the medical profession will figure out a way to help.


Sent from my moto z3 using JazzFanz mobile app
 
It occurred to me the other day that being chronically ill helps me process what white privilege is like.

Managing my illnesses is a constant thing. I have to think about it all the time and it affects everything I do in ways that a healthy person would never be able to understand, and in ways that I cannot explain to them. Not having to think about health issues every minute is a privilege.

Sorry I derailed the thread with heavy stuff. Let's go back to minor annoyances, please.

Sent from my moto z3 using JazzFanz mobile app
 
JazzGal said:
It occurred to me the other day that being chronically ill helps me process what white privilege is like.

Managing my illnesses is a constant thing. I have to think about it all the time and it affects everything I do in ways that a healthy person would never be able to understand, and in ways that I cannot explain to them. Not having to think about health issues every minute is a privilege.

Sorry I derailed the thread with heavy stuff. Let's go back to minor annoyances, please.

Sent from my moto z3 using JazzFanz mobile app
Click to expand...

OK, here's a pet peeve: the phrase "white privilege". I understand the effect and agree that it's real, but think "white privilege" is a horrible term for it. In my opinion it doesn't help draw attention to the issues that minorities face, but rather seems like it's too often being employed to scapegoat today's whites for the wrongs that past generations committed. And I've had friends and family members use it to silence individuals who have their own views on racial issues that are different than the liberal/progressive agenda (namely, me): "You only feel that way because of your white privilege". No, sorry, I feel that way because of giving reasoned consideration to the issues.

(That being said, I thought your chronic illness analogy was really interesting and probably accurate in a lot of ways.)
 
JazzGal said:
Sorry if I was a little hard on you. It's just a pet peeve of mine.

I don't really have a problem with this anyway. We are all free to think what we want about people. I do have a problem with the ones that feel it is their responsibility to comment on a complete stranger's behavior (unless it is harming someone else).

Now if that guy really was misusing it, I'm going to be annoyed that I went after you, sharing way too much of myself in the process. Good thing I'll never know.

I had a paraplegic friend, and I understand the difficulties of not being able to find parking. Too many places have one or two spots only, and with our aging baby boomer population, more is needed.

On a lighter note - I hate looking sick and don't always have a cane with me. Stupid pride. But sometimes I suddenly become very dizzy and need to take the arm of whomever I'm with. My mother is 81 years old and very healthy. It is our joke that she's supposed to look sick whenever I'm hanging on to her so I'll look like I'm helping her.

Sent from my moto z3 using JazzFanz mobile app
Click to expand...

I’m glad you said what you did. No need to apologize.
 
So i was bitching about my league pass being super slow the other day, turns out the garbage truck had ripped our phone connection off the house. Anyway our internerd has run like a turd ever since, god knows when its going to be back to a usable speed.
 
Rubashov said:
So i was bitching about my league pass being super slow the other day, turns out the garbage truck had ripped our phone connection off the house. Anyway our internerd has run like a turd ever since, god knows when its going to be back to a usable speed.
Click to expand...
Hopefully by tomorrow night. If not, jazzfanz will come through with an idea

Sent from my ONEPLUS A6013 using JazzFanz mobile app
 
ok, so now that I've moved the discussion of White Privilege to thread with a more appropriate title
https://jazzfanz.com/threads/jon-stewart-on-white-privilege-cc-unnamed-posters-etc.32192/
I'll post my latest Pet Peeve

When you have a boatload of shopping bags in your car, but forget to bring any of them in to the grocery store and don't remember them until all your groceries are unloaded in the checkout lane.

(I'm getting better at remembering to bring one in with me though)
 
another pet peeve - sharing a bed with someone who somehow always ends up sleeping on TOP of the covers, leaving you wedged in to one small spot at the edge of the bed
 
Finally (after literally years/decades) going to the doctor to discuss a few issues, only to have him halfway listen and hand out a few prescriptions and hurrying out even though you had more on your mind because it's almost lunch time, or because it's now an assembly line pass out drugs to solve everything system.

Might not ever go back until I'm seriously in trouble. How hard is it to find a doctor that actually cares about patients and what they want out of a visit?
 
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