The funny thing kids say

[kiri.de.carlos]

Please share the funny things your kids have said, or anybody's kids really.

My 4 year old and I were in a public restroom where she proceeded to fart. I of course said "gross (insert daughters name)" she responded with this gem, "no it's yummy. My farts are yummy, I smelt them"

A co-workers 3 yr old was doing a puzzle with grandma, grandma put a piece in the wrong spot and she responded with, "that's not where it goes you stupid a-hole" after grandma was done laughing she asked where she learned that the answer, "my dad calls my mom that daily."

Many more to come.

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[TroutBum]

Please share the funny things your kids have said, or anybody's kids really.

My 4 year old and I were in a public restroom where she proceeded to fart. I of course said "gross (insert daughters name)" she responded with this gem, "no it's yummy. My farts are yummy, I smelt them"

A co-workers 3 yr old was doing a puzzle with grandma, grandma put a piece in the wrong spot and she responded with, "that's not where it goes you stupid a-hole" after grandma was done laughing she asked where she learned that the answer, "my dad calls my mom that daily."

Many more to come.

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I don't know about farts being yummy, but in our house, farts are certainly funny.

Most of the stuff my kids say is not suitable for this forum, unfortunately.

 

[TroutBum]

OK, I do have one good one.

Sloan is 6 and the other day I walked by the bathroom she was taking a shower in and I heard her bellow, "By the power of Grey Skull! I HAVE THE POWER!"

Probably my proudest moment as a father, tbh.

 

[kiri.de.carlos]

I don't know what that means, but I like it.

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[Gameface]

OK, I do have one good one.

Sloan is 6 and the other day I walked by the bathroom she was taking a shower in and I heard her bellow, "By the power of Grey Skull! I HAVE THE POWER!"

Probably my proudest moment as a father, tbh.

Do you have old episodes of He-Man on VHS or something? They didn't remake that crap did they?

 

[TroutBum]

Do you have old episodes of He-Man on VHS or something? They didn't remake that crap did they?

Up until a few months ago you could find all of the old ones on NetFlix. Both of my girls LOVE He-Man and I bet we watched every single episode together over a three month period. (Sunday naps + He-Man, FTFW) You can find pretty much every episode on YouTube, but the quality on some of them is meh.

Sadly, yes, they also remade it. And now that is all you can find on NetFlix. It's actually not too bad, but Adam isn't nearly the puss-wad that he was in the original, and it kind of ruins it. He's kinda Emo -- like UB.

Kind of on topic, my girls watch this at least once a day, and laugh just as hard as they did the first time they watched it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ttM3EEIAOo

 

[Deleted member 848]

The kids I coach say some hilarious **** on the regular. Gotta start writing it down, and reporting back to this thread.

 

[LogGrad98]

Well my 12 year old asked what a condom was. We were eating dinner and she just kind of casually asked what a condom is. My other 2 kids at home are 19 and 17, with the 19 year old preparing to go on a mission. They both said "oh you don't want to ask dad THAT question". My wife and I tried delicately to explain what a condom is, trying to be kid and dinner table friendly. About half way through she had this disgusted look on her face. Then said "wait wait wait..." handed me a bottle of mustard and asked "I thought this was a condom". We both got real quiet while my other kids just busted up laughing. My wife just kind of whispered "no, that's a condiment". The 12 year old just said "oh" then went back to eating, giving me and my wife some weird looks the rest of dinner.

I can't imagine what she thought we were doing with the mustard.

 

[kiri.de.carlos]

Hahahahaha, that's awesome!

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[TroutBum]

Well my 12 year old asked what a condom was. We were eating dinner and she just kind of casually asked what a condom is. My other 2 kids at home are 19 and 17, with the 19 year old preparing to go on a mission. They both said "oh you don't want to ask dad THAT question". My wife and I tried delicately to explain what a condom is, trying to be kid and dinner table friendly. About half way through she had this disgusted look on her face. Then said "wait wait wait..." handed me a bottle of mustard and asked "I thought this was a condom". We both got real quiet while my other kids just busted up laughing. My wife just kind of whispered "no, that's a condiment". The 12 year old just said "oh" then went back to eating, giving me and my wife some weird looks the rest of dinner.

I can't imagine what she thought we were doing with the mustard.

My oldest is six and she's only sort of asked about where babies come from up to this point. I can't wait for the next four or five years... I'm torn between just saying "Mom and dad have rough hairy sex" and giving her this:

 

[LogGrad98]

My oldest is six and she's only sort of asked about where babies come from up to this point. I can't wait for the next four or five years... I'm torn between just saying "Mom and dad have rough hairy sex" and giving her this:

Those are some of the best conversations. We decided to go the technical route. My kids know the anatomy and how it all fits together. Just now my 12 year old think mustard is some kind of weird lubricant or something. Boy will that be eye-opening on the ole wedding night.

 

[TroutBum]

Those are some of the best conversations. We decided to go the technical route. My kids know the anatomy and how it all fits together. Just now my 12 year old think mustard is some kind of weird lubricant or something. Boy will that be eye-opening on the ole wedding night.

Not to mention tasty!

 

[dodo]

Couple of days ago before watching the Olympic opening ceremonies I was explaining to my 6 old what the winter olympics are. I was telling her about the winter sports, saying "skiing, sledding, snowboarding..." and she interrupted me - "I can't wait to see the snowman building competition"...

 

[TroutBum]

Couple of days ago before watching the Olympic opening ceremonies I was explaining to my 6 old what the winter olympics are. I was telling her about the winter sports, saying "skiing, sledding, snowboarding..." and she interrupted me - "I can't wait to see the snowman building competition"...

Haha, I can totally see/hear that.

I might actually tune in and watch a little bit if we had a few six year old's in charge of some of the programming.

 

[franklin]

Well my 12 year old asked what a condom was. We were eating dinner and she just kind of casually asked what a condom is. My other 2 kids at home are 19 and 17, with the 19 year old preparing to go on a mission. They both said "oh you don't want to ask dad THAT question". My wife and I tried delicately to explain what a condom is, trying to be kid and dinner table friendly. About half way through she had this disgusted look on her face. Then said "wait wait wait..." handed me a bottle of mustard and asked "I thought this was a condom". We both got real quiet while my other kids just busted up laughing. My wife just kind of whispered "no, that's a condiment". The 12 year old just said "oh" then went back to eating, giving me and my wife some weird looks the rest of dinner.

I can't imagine what she thought we were doing with the mustard.

"It's what they serve pina colada's in, dear."

 

[bigb]

Holy hell, my 6 year old is funny as ****. We were on a long drive and when he woke up his ears needed to pop. He said "hey, why are my ears broken? Wow, I can't even hear myself talk."

Just the other day my two year old wandered min to my bedroom while I was showering. When I got out he said "me spank you bum". He then hit my butt a few times. Then all the sudden he yells "ME SPANK YOU PEEPEE" and tried to hit that. I now lock the door at all times.

 

[bigb]

The same 6 year old had an issue when his foot fell asleep. When it got the pins and needles feeling he yelled out "ugh my foot is sizzling!"

 

[moevillini]

I think I've shared this story before, it happened years ago - my youngest was about 5 and the others were 8 and 10. They were watching television and a public service announcement came on about abstinence - - very earnest young people saying that they were going to resist temptation and "just say no" to having sex. Youngest son takes it all in and announces he's never going to have sex. The oldest two (whatever their limited knowledge at that time, they knew that sex was part of having children) told him that meant he'd never have kids. You could slowly see the light bulb go off in his mind, as he asks "You mean Mom and Dad had sex?" - - then the 8 year old chimed in "Yes, three times, dummy!"

 

[default]

Those are some of the best conversations. We decided to go the technical route. My kids know the anatomy and how it all fits together. Just now my 12 year old think mustard is some kind of weird lubricant or something. Boy will that be eye-opening on the ole wedding night.

I hear lots of people like mustard directly on their wiener and not just randomly on their buns.

 

[Hantlers]

HOly crap!!!

Kiri is posting here? I didn't know she was still here.

Great news.