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The Official "Gameface is Quitting" Thread

Gameface said:
I'm looking at sometime around February or May to start looking. I have a few concerns. One is that I left, worked somewhere else for about 6 months and then came back, so I don't want to go somewhere else too soon and then find out I don't like that place. That's too much jumping around and I think I'll be stuck. The place I work pays above average. Not the absolute top for the field, but above average. Good benefits. I've been there long enough that I'm pretty good at what I do and I generally like doing it. I also really like working with one of the guys I work with. That's enough, honestly.

I'm very odd in that I do not alter my sleep schedule between the days I work and the days I'm off. I don't know anyone else who does that. But sleep experts absolutely advocate for the way I do it. 15 years ago I could flip my schedule and be okay (sort of). But about 8 or so years ago I started going completely crazy when I'd flip. I'm not talking about stupid posts on jazzfanz crazy, I'm talking I'd go into rages with my wife or my kid. Like uncontrollable rages. I'd wake up pissed and sit in bed telling myself to calm down, everything was okay, just relax, everything is fine, just take it easy. Then I'd get up, still feeling tense and angry and anxious. But I'd continue to tell myself to stay calm, stay under control, nothing is a big deal, everything is okay. Then I'd see someone moved my whatever to a spot I didn't want my whatever in and I'd lose my ****. Just go into a rage. It was scary. And I'm saying it was scary for me, but I'm not my wife and kid who had to deal with it. They didn't deserve that. Staying on the same sleep schedule sucks. Like it sucks really bad. I'm up right now on my day off and there's really nothing useful for me to do right now (I am going to do the dishes and a load of laundry as soon as I finish this, but you know) I'm in a mostly dark house, alone, my family is sleeping and I'm having a beer or 12 until I go to sleep "early" around 4 to 6am.

It isn't healthy. It is hard to be healthy when you work 12hr night shifts. The guys who flip on their days off, I can tell they are ****ed up. When I'm at work I'm the most alert and aware and mentally capable person on my shift. No question. Flipping causes ****ing alzheimer's, amongst other things. These people I work with are probably going to have dementia at some point. They aren't sleeping right. Their circadian rhythms are never "rhythms" because they are always throwing that into chaos. Their sleep is poor at least 3-4 days a week, and when I say poor I don't just mean less hours than recommended, I mean they never get into deep sleep 3-4 days out of the week, long term, years and years. That's how you invite dementia into your life.

So yeah, I'm crazy as **** right now. It sucks. But while I do stupid **** on Jazzfanz, I'm nice to my family. I'm not doing stupid or reckless things in my "real" life. I'm sorry that I'm using Jazzfanz as an outlet (I mean sorry, not sorry) but if it has to be somewhere it's probably better here.
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Use those benefits and get a therapist
 
Gameface said:
I'm an incredibly emotional person. This isn't new.

I'm flattered to have people stand up for me, even when I've misbehaved. I appreciate it and for those of you who have done so recently, I want to say thank you.

However, I want to be honest with this community. My recent behaviour is not a one off. I may be willing to admit when I'm wrong, but I've also forced myself to admit that more than a few times.

Some of my behaviour has been clearly beyond the pale. A few things that I have done have been inexcusable. I can apologize, easy enough, and I can even be sincere. But I have now established a pattern of unacceptable outbursts. That's where I'm at. That's my assessment of what I've done. I have no desire to leave this community, but I don't feel this community has any obligation to keep me.

I think @Jason is too reluctant to make this the Jazz Fan community it should be. I think the trolls are completely out of control, and there is no other way to describe them. This is not a difference of opinion, it is behaviour. Part of what emboldens me to act out is seeing that others are acting out and not facing consequences. I have been shocked over the years that I have been able to get away with the things I have. But I see others who also get away with being toxic and horrible and I know that there are essentially no limits.

That's Jazzfanz. Love it or hate it.
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Jesus, bro. It’s Jazzfanz. Lighten up.
 
Rubashov said:
Its alright dude, just use the ignore function and do less day drinking (or not) Being emotionally stable is overrated people said Hitler was a riot during his bunker days.
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I'm doing late night drinking.

I've actually been going to the gym around 9-10pm then coming home and taking a shower partially to delay when I begin to drink so that I can lose weight (I've lost 13lbs since Oct. 4th).

In general I'm feeling really good. I think with my diet and putting off when I start drinking I've been hitting it a little harder when I do start drinking. That's something I'm going to adjust. It's funny, because as my Jazzfanz life has gotten worse and worse over the last few weeks I'm doing better and better in real life.

Like, I just made some unbelievable ceviche tonight. That's going to be my main meal when I work this Fri, Sat, Sun. It's really good. I also made some Habanero Hot Sauce today from peppers one of my coworkers grew. I went to a local taco shop and as an Elite '19 Yelp Squad member I wrote a review for it and I wrote reviews for 2 other places today.

I'm feeling good overall. I'm just posting stupid **** on Jazzfanz.
 
Gameface said:
I'm doing late night drinking.

I've actually been going to the gym around 9-10pm then coming home and taking a shower partially to delay when I begin to drink so that I can lose weight (I've lost 13lbs since Oct. 4th).

In general I'm feeling really good. I think with my diet and putting off when I start drinking I've been hitting it a little harder when I do start drinking. That's something I'm going to adjust. It's funny, because as my Jazzfanz life has gotten worse and worse over the last few weeks I'm doing better and better in real life.

Like, I just made some unbelievable ceviche tonight. That's going to be my main meal when I work this Fri, Sat, Sun. It's really good. I also made some Habanero Hot Sauce today from peppers one of my coworkers grew. I went to a local taco shop and as an Elite '19 Yelp Squad member I wrote a review for it and I wrote reviews for 2 other places today.

I'm feeling good overall. I'm just posting stupid **** on Jazzfanz.
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I'll be doing some day/afternoon drinking tomorrow, a mates daughter is having her 1st birthday, gonna smash some cans and try to find a single mother to hit on.

I normally train after work at 2330 but had been training before and after work until a few weeks ago when my mum had a stroke and then everything kind of went to ****. Been slowly getting back into a decent routine as things are sort of going back to normal at home.

Ceviche? Never heard of it, is he some French bloke? I actually haven't done any decent cooking in ages, I never cook Mexican food, that stuff, like work, is for immigrants.

Likely going to this joint next weekend, probably my favourite restaurant in Melbourne.

https://santelmo.com.au/

Anyway gotta survive the week first...
 
Gameface said:
Are you giving me a pass to act out because this is "only jazzfanz"?
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No, I’m giving you a pass to not beat yourself up over **** you’ve done here. We all have our ways, our flaws. And this is Jazzfanz. Not serious business.
 
Gameface said:
I'm doing late night drinking.

I've actually been going to the gym around 9-10pm then coming home and taking a shower partially to delay when I begin to drink so that I can lose weight (I've lost 13lbs since Oct. 4th).

In general I'm feeling really good. I think with my diet and putting off when I start drinking I've been hitting it a little harder when I do start drinking. That's something I'm going to adjust. It's funny, because as my Jazzfanz life has gotten worse and worse over the last few weeks I'm doing better and better in real life.

Like, I just made some unbelievable ceviche tonight. That's going to be my main meal when I work this Fri, Sat, Sun. It's really good. I also made some Habanero Hot Sauce today from peppers one of my coworkers grew. I went to a local taco shop and as an Elite '19 Yelp Squad member I wrote a review for it and I wrote reviews for 2 other places today.

I'm feeling good overall. I'm just posting stupid **** on Jazzfanz.
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As much ad you talk about drinking Id guess that you have a problem. But if the worse thing that is happening is you are posting stupid **** then thats probably a good thing.
 
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