I agree with you.I advise all people to represent who they are sexually on dating sites.
The idea of you taking this as victim blaming is as expected coming from you.
How dare I!
I think we all get to make our own decisions about the relationships we enter. This very fantastic notion One Brow is expressing about how a transgender female is a female and should be able to simply exist as a female starts to fall apart in the context of a romantic relationship*. A transgender female looking for a relationship with a cisgender male should filter their dating pool for cisgender males interested in the actual relationship they will be entering.
I also agree that there are very real safety concerns in hiding transgender status from cisgender males. That's not victim blaming in my opinion, that's reality facing transgender females when dealing with potentially violent men. Ask cisgender females about dating. It's ****ing scary for them a lot of the time. They don't know when they might be assaulted and far far too many of them are. That's the reality of dealing with cisgender males. Too many of them are ****ing neanderthals. Don't encourage transgender females to see if the cisgender male "clocks" them. That's a game of life and death that lies squarely on the shoulders of our culture and the way cisgender males are socially expected to behave.
Change the culture before you encourage transgender females to put their lives at risk for these principles. It's not their fault, it's the culture.
*the reality of a transgender female being a female is given great strength and support when she finds a partner that she desires who equally desires her. That can be an amazing affirmation and extremely valuable support for her. That will almost always happen when she finds a partner who is fully aware of who she is and what she needs in the relationship.
Good relationships are built on honesty and trust.
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