This wasn't really something I did, but a difficult time for me was when my wife was pregnant for the first time and had a miscarriage right after Father's Day.
What is the most difficult thing you have ever done?
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Beer
Well-Known Member
You can take my son for a little while to get some practice. He's driving me bonkers.
19 months ago I lost a Child To Trisomy 18( might be a little graphic but I still thought i'd share)
During the summer of 2013, we found out that our baby, who my wife was pregnant with, was really sick. The doctor told us that we needed to go to Specialist to have more testing done. We found out that our daughter had Arthrogryposis and Trisomy 18 and was “going to die.” That came as a shock to us, especially how the geneticist told us. As we walked through her door, we didn’t even have a chance to sit down before she told us that our baby was going to die. We found this very tactless and insensitive. I realize she tells people their baby isn’t going to make it all the time, but seriously, couldn't we have sat down first? We then met with the specialist. He didn’t even know what Arthrogryposis was and he was supposed to be a specialist? The doctor kept telling us that we should terminate our pregnancy, even when he knew that this was not an option for my family, he continued to be persistent telling us we needed to end it. That was not an option for us. Although this news was devastating, we felt comfort and we have not been mad once (other than our experience with the hospital). We wanted every chance that we could get to raise our baby and enjoy the little time that we had with her and DID NOT appreciate being told to end our pregnancy. So, we decided to go to a different Specialist.
At 31 weeks pregnant, we needed to be medically induced to have our baby. My wife was with her failing health was measuring 44 weeks at 31 weeks. She was retaining so much fluid, & having kidney, liver issues. We talked with our personal OB/GYN and he suggested that we deliver up at University Hospital because we would get taken care of and have the help that our baby would need… Wow! Was he wrong!! Going to the University Hospital has been the BIGGEST regret of our lifes.
Once at the hospital (very unorganized) we felt felt like we were being neglected. We felt that nobody cared! Because they knew my baby was going to die, so we didn't matter, nor did our baby. It was high-risk, but that did not mean anything to them. We were surprised by the lack of care. We truly felt like we were ‘nobodies’ !
While at the hospital our Specialist Dr. let the Students Drs. at the U handle EVERYTHING!! (even thorough it was a high risk pregnancy)the neonatal specialist did not come in to talk with us because they said “there is no reason since her baby is going to die.” How is that encouraging? Very careless and discouraging from the beginning.
Since my wife wasn't progressing as quickly as they thought, the nurse kept giving my wife more Pitocin. She kept upping her Pitocin and she raised it so much, she said, “I have never given anyone this much Pitocin.
My wife became very itchy from all of the medicine (Pitocin) that she had received that the nurse gave her a huge amount of Benadryl around 10 PM Said you and your husband get some sleep and i'll come check on you again at 10:30 PM. The nurse came in and said I don't want to check on my wife because she sleeping, I'll keep monitoring her and i'll come back and check on her every 15-30 minutes. In the mean time the nurse went out to talk to our parents who were waiting in the waiting area and talked to them for 2 hours (they finally said shouldn't you go check on her and get us an update. Also told them, that shes not really dilated and that its going to be a while)
She then came back in at 12:45 A.M. (both my wife and myself were a sleep. Hadn't checked on us one since she last left) to come check to see how dilated she was and change some towels so she turned the light on and both me and my wife woke up. My wife (who had an epidural, mixed with the rest of the drugs they gave her) lifted up her bed sheets to help the nurse change her towels she felt our sweet babies head. At that same time, I look over and see that my Sweet Angel had been born and was just laying there unresponsive!
" The nurse freaks out, starts to cry, pages the Dr on call. Then tells my wife that our baby had passed away and that it was her (nurses) fault ( which didn't help anything!) She keep saying I should have come checked on you.
The on call Dr arrives and tells us that our child was not going to survive anyways! That it's a blessing the way that it happened. So that we wouldn't have to see what difficulties our child was going to have. Said that she probably passed away during birth.
It's been such an emotional ride! It's been tough but we were ready for whatever was going to come and we were looking fwd to putting our sweet baby girl 1st!
After all of this my insurance has been fighting it( to this day they still haven't paid 5 claims) It took my insurance 9 months to pay out the 1st 10,000.00 to the Hospital. While we've been fighting with our insurance, staying in constant communication with the U's billing department. they still tried having the Attorney Generals office sue us! They have also Levied/garnished my Utah state tax return this past 2 years. While on an active payment plan!
It's all been tough but everything that's come from this, has really helped my wife, myself and our 3 additional kids grow closer together! My kids, love to go to the cemetery to go see there sister, they always have to bucket up the additional car seat in our SUV for there sister!" Some of the cutest/coolest spiritual stuff has happened sense them!" When we have family prayer we always get in a circle and my kids (age 6,4, & 3) always say that shes in the middle! It's been such a great way to teach our kids about the Plan of Salvation and that we can and will ALWAYS be an Eternal family!!
And it's really helped us see how much our Heavenly Father works through people to help those in need! Whether, we've been the one receiving or helping someone that's either going through or have gone through the same things we have or did! Definitely been a testimony builder!! My Kids are ALWAYS telling us that shes there watching over us taking care of us! It's crazy that the toughest thing we've ever had to go through has really helped my cute little family probably the most!!
It really makes me appreciate everything I've been giving and makes me hug my kids and wife that much tighter!
During the summer of 2013, we found out that our baby, who my wife was pregnant with, was really sick. The doctor told us that we needed to go to Specialist to have more testing done. We found out that our daughter had Arthrogryposis and Trisomy 18 and was “going to die.” That came as a shock to us, especially how the geneticist told us. As we walked through her door, we didn’t even have a chance to sit down before she told us that our baby was going to die. We found this very tactless and insensitive. I realize she tells people their baby isn’t going to make it all the time, but seriously, couldn't we have sat down first? We then met with the specialist. He didn’t even know what Arthrogryposis was and he was supposed to be a specialist? The doctor kept telling us that we should terminate our pregnancy, even when he knew that this was not an option for my family, he continued to be persistent telling us we needed to end it. That was not an option for us. Although this news was devastating, we felt comfort and we have not been mad once (other than our experience with the hospital). We wanted every chance that we could get to raise our baby and enjoy the little time that we had with her and DID NOT appreciate being told to end our pregnancy. So, we decided to go to a different Specialist.
At 31 weeks pregnant, we needed to be medically induced to have our baby. My wife was with her failing health was measuring 44 weeks at 31 weeks. She was retaining so much fluid, & having kidney, liver issues. We talked with our personal OB/GYN and he suggested that we deliver up at University Hospital because we would get taken care of and have the help that our baby would need… Wow! Was he wrong!! Going to the University Hospital has been the BIGGEST regret of our lifes.
Once at the hospital (very unorganized) we felt felt like we were being neglected. We felt that nobody cared! Because they knew my baby was going to die, so we didn't matter, nor did our baby. It was high-risk, but that did not mean anything to them. We were surprised by the lack of care. We truly felt like we were ‘nobodies’ !
While at the hospital our Specialist Dr. let the Students Drs. at the U handle EVERYTHING!! (even thorough it was a high risk pregnancy)the neonatal specialist did not come in to talk with us because they said “there is no reason since her baby is going to die.” How is that encouraging? Very careless and discouraging from the beginning.
Since my wife wasn't progressing as quickly as they thought, the nurse kept giving my wife more Pitocin. She kept upping her Pitocin and she raised it so much, she said, “I have never given anyone this much Pitocin.
My wife became very itchy from all of the medicine (Pitocin) that she had received that the nurse gave her a huge amount of Benadryl around 10 PM Said you and your husband get some sleep and i'll come check on you again at 10:30 PM. The nurse came in and said I don't want to check on my wife because she sleeping, I'll keep monitoring her and i'll come back and check on her every 15-30 minutes. In the mean time the nurse went out to talk to our parents who were waiting in the waiting area and talked to them for 2 hours (they finally said shouldn't you go check on her and get us an update. Also told them, that shes not really dilated and that its going to be a while)
She then came back in at 12:45 A.M. (both my wife and myself were a sleep. Hadn't checked on us one since she last left) to come check to see how dilated she was and change some towels so she turned the light on and both me and my wife woke up. My wife (who had an epidural, mixed with the rest of the drugs they gave her) lifted up her bed sheets to help the nurse change her towels she felt our sweet babies head. At that same time, I look over and see that my Sweet Angel had been born and was just laying there unresponsive!
" The nurse freaks out, starts to cry, pages the Dr on call. Then tells my wife that our baby had passed away and that it was her (nurses) fault ( which didn't help anything!) She keep saying I should have come checked on you.The on call Dr arrives and tells us that our child was not going to survive anyways! That it's a blessing the way that it happened. So that we wouldn't have to see what difficulties our child was going to have. Said that she probably passed away during birth.
It's been such an emotional ride! It's been tough but we were ready for whatever was going to come and we were looking fwd to putting our sweet baby girl 1st!
After all of this my insurance has been fighting it( to this day they still haven't paid 5 claims) It took my insurance 9 months to pay out the 1st 10,000.00 to the Hospital. While we've been fighting with our insurance, staying in constant communication with the U's billing department. they still tried having the Attorney Generals office sue us! They have also Levied/garnished my Utah state tax return this past 2 years. While on an active payment plan!
It's all been tough but everything that's come from this, has really helped my wife, myself and our 3 additional kids grow closer together! My kids, love to go to the cemetery to go see there sister, they always have to bucket up the additional car seat in our SUV for there sister!" Some of the cutest/coolest spiritual stuff has happened sense them!" When we have family prayer we always get in a circle and my kids (age 6,4, & 3) always say that shes in the middle! It's been such a great way to teach our kids about the Plan of Salvation and that we can and will ALWAYS be an Eternal family!!
And it's really helped us see how much our Heavenly Father works through people to help those in need! Whether, we've been the one receiving or helping someone that's either going through or have gone through the same things we have or did! Definitely been a testimony builder!! My Kids are ALWAYS telling us that shes there watching over us taking care of us! It's crazy that the toughest thing we've ever had to go through has really helped my cute little family probably the most!!
It really makes me appreciate everything I've been giving and makes me hug my kids and wife that much tighter!
leftyjace
Well-Known Member
Divorced someone.
Ironically, a few years later I look back and wonder how in the hell I let myself get dragged down the crazy hole for so long. Was married to her for about 9 years, and it probably should have only been about 2 or 3 if I had been paying attention to the signs.
I'm alone and I've never been happier. My MBA cost me lots of money and was the catalyst for the death of my marriage, and it was MORE THAN WORTH... EVERY... LITTLE... BIT.
Ironically, a few years later I look back and wonder how in the hell I let myself get dragged down the crazy hole for so long. Was married to her for about 9 years, and it probably should have only been about 2 or 3 if I had been paying attention to the signs.
I'm alone and I've never been happier. My MBA cost me lots of money and was the catalyst for the death of my marriage, and it was MORE THAN WORTH... EVERY... LITTLE... BIT.