You're mixing two different forms of measurement here: collective and individual.
The Dem. argument (or at least my version of the dem argument) has been that the vast majority of the total dollar amounts of those tax cuts have gone to the top. For example, the top quintile received 64.6% and the top 2% received something like 20% of the total pool. In 2008, the effect of the Bush tax cut on just the top 1% was $79.5 billion. To put that in perspective that's nearly double what the appropriation is for the Department of Homeland Security.
Where you change measurements is when you say that this must mean, according to Dems, that lower income families received nothing. The remaining 35.4% of total dollars was spread out among the bottom 80%. In many instances that's a couple thousand dollars (median average family tax burden decreased by $1247 in 2006). That's noticeable for middle income families. No one can seriously deny that much. But the debate was really about equity in the cuts, not whether or not they were noticeable.
I would have had significantly less problem with the Bush tax cuts, even if they were exactly the same cost in that we sucked the same number of dollars out of the tax base, if 64.6% had gone to the bottom 80% (largely to the 2nd through 4th quintile given that the bottom quintile's tax burden is generally somewhat negligible) and the 35.4% had gone to the top quintile.
Certainly it's not wise to inflict the pain of a noticable but hardly catastrophic tax increase on middle income families during a recession and a period. But the top 2% are the top 2 ****ing percent. They, by definition, aren't hurting and wouldn't have been hurting with the tax increase.
Fiscal policy as a method of economic regulation is completely broken because taxes are a one-way ratchet. I have no faith the tax cuts will ever go away now, even when the Dems were handed opportunities to put bills on the floor to preserve the cuts for 98% of Americans and force Republicans to publicly vote to screw everyone else in favor of the top 2%. Instead the Dems caved. They deserve to lose.
I understand your argument and don't disagree on your explanation. Unfortunately all taxes are individual and hence must be packaged that way.