Would you like an extra spouse with that?

[LogGrad98]

Ok so I had an interesting discussion with my wife and it raised this question, the question of the poll:

If polygamy were legalized wherever you live, by the federal government or the equivalent, and accepted, if not necessarily endorsed, by all religions, would you consider polygamy?

So the religion caveat is so the mormons can not worry about what the bishop might think. For the purposes of this thread pretend that it is fully legal and that the Church's standpoint is that it is a legal marriage and therefore fully allowed. In other worse, you could marry multiple partners and still keep your recommend, even if they weren't necessarily mormon (transpose that for any other religion you choose).

So, would you want to live in a polygamous relationship? Why or why not? What if you spouse not only gave consent, but encouraged it and helped you find new partners?



I am not sure if this has been discussed before, or while I was gone, but my wife and I had some interesting conversations along these lines and I thought it might make for some interesting discussion here.

 

[gregbroncs]

No. Too hard to understand and deal with 1 woman why the hell would I want to be outnumbered?

 

[LogGrad98]

No. Too hard to understand and deal with 1 woman why the hell would I want to be outnumbered?

That's a cliche answer. Got any real thoughts?

 

[Saint Cy of JFC]

Rather just go w/ the standard wife and mistress.

 

[♪alt13]

Hell no. If you asked me when I was 18 I would have said **** yeah. I couldn't handle it.

 

[ema]

I would never want my wife to have another man, so same goes for me. Nope.

 

[LogGrad98]

Hell no. If you asked me when I was 18 I would have said **** yeah. I couldn't handle it.

Why couldn't you handle it?

I think it gets really interesting when we break through the standard answers of "wow one woman is tough enough" and really consider it. What would it be like? We have some tv shows to go by, but that dramatizes it. It wouldn't be just all sex all the time, or all nagging all the time. There are times my wife and I both thought another adult in the home would be great. Potentially a third income stream. Someone else to help corral the kids. Someone maybe available for getting to that appointment we almost missed for whatever reason. Could there be a marriage that was celibate except for one partner, say the "primary" partner?

 

[♪alt13]

I'll just leave sex out of it, not because I don't think it's relevant, simply because I think there are probably easier ways to go about getting it if that is what you are after.

I couldn't handle it because I am not the romantic type. My Fiance' is a much better partner to me than I am to her. I find it hard enough to maintain a close emotional relationship with one person.

I am also lucky enough to have a supportive family here in utah that we can rely on to help us raise our daughter when we need it. The third income stream would be nice but I can't imagine money being the driver for why I married someone.

 

[bigb]

There are definite pros to it. Having another "parent" in the relationship probably would make it easier to get everything done. That basically creates another 24 hours everyday for a "parent" to do things. Having said that, in a polygamous relationship, there are likely to be kids with all wives involved. That means that extra time you created just went out the window. Now, not only do you have one set of kids to do things for/with, you now have multiple sets of kids. I only have two out of four kids (all with the same woman) in activities right now and there are often times we find it hard to divide and conquer everything that has to happen. I couldn't imagine trying to do that with a whole other set of kids. I guess you would have to cut back/eliminate the activities your kids do.

Overall, I think adults should be allowed to marry any other adult, whoever it may be; including multiple wives. I also think they need to be able to take care of the consequences of that (a **** ton of kids, multiple divorces, etc.) with little to no outside help except in extreme circumstances.

Generally speaking, I can't envision myself ever wanting to have more than one wife at a time (or even a wife and a mistress). I can only imagine the conversation "Hey wife #1. The other day I was with wife #2 and she wanted to try this new thing in bed. It was amazing. I think we should try it to."
"If you think she's so damn great, go **** yourself."
But if others want to do and do it the correct way (wait till they're of a legal age), I don't see a reason why not.

 

[scootsy]

Historically speaking, instead of having another parent to corral children, wouldn't the amount of children increase as the number of wives did as well?

 

[gregbroncs]

That's a cliche answer. Got any real thoughts?

Not really. While you are right it's a cliché. I am perfectly happy with my wife. I can't see needing or wanting another. I really do think it would be too hard to deal with 2 and not worth the trouble that would come along with it.

 

[gregbroncs]

Why couldn't you handle it?

I think it gets really interesting when we break through the standard answers of "wow one woman is tough enough" and really consider it. What would it be like? We have some tv shows to go by, but that dramatizes it. It wouldn't be just all sex all the time, or all nagging all the time. There are times my wife and I both thought another adult in the home would be great. Potentially a third income stream. Someone else to help corral the kids. Someone maybe available for getting to that appointment we almost missed for whatever reason. Could there be a marriage that was celibate except for one partner, say the "primary" partner?

Why with your last line would it matter if you were married? Could just have a roommate that did all of that and remain unattatched. Get all of the benefits you are describing without a lot of the trouble. Don't get me wrong there would still be a lot of potential problems but by taking the actual marriage out of it there would be a whole lot less, IMO.

 

[Saint Cy of JFC]

Why couldn't you handle it?

I think it gets really interesting when we break through the standard answers of "wow one woman is tough enough" and really consider it. What would it be like? We have some tv shows to go by, but that dramatizes it. It wouldn't be just all sex all the time, or all nagging all the time. There are times my wife and I both thought another adult in the home would be great. Potentially a third income stream. Someone else to help corral the kids. Someone maybe available for getting to that appointment we almost missed for whatever reason. Could there be a marriage that was celibate except for one partner, say the "primary" partner?

Sounds like you want a live in nanny that you don't want to bang.

 

[Saint Cy of JFC]

Historically speaking, instead of having another parent to corral children, wouldn't the amount of children increase as the number of wives did as well?

Well, the perfect third wife would be infertile, have no jealousy issues, love doing house work, have a decent paying job, and give excellent bjs. At least, that's what Lograd seems to be explaining.


I'm sure this could work, but it would take 3 people who are all very good together. It couldn't be just a guy married to two chick, all 3 would have to love each other equally. That is a hard enough connection to get and maintain between two people, I see the success rate being even lower trying to make it work 3-ways.

 

[bigb]

Sounds like you want a live in nanny that you don't want to bang.

You have to pay live in nannies. If you end up banging them, it becomes prostitution.

 

[franklin]

Sounds like the dream to me Log.

Get wife one whose the bread winner yet maybe wants a kid or two. Get wife two who believes nothing outside a woman's role is in the home raising kids.

It's a money makers match made in heaven. The key is to join 3 people in a relationship as tight as joining two, which posters like Cyrone must be too lazy to do.

This **** is marriage perfection. Rep the man.

 

[Bronco70]

No. I would not even waste the time considering it. Any "added benefit" is potentially offset by expanding the household by one or more persons. I like my family exactly the size it is. That's it.

 

[Qman]

A polygamous relationship is usually based gender power inequality. Women literally needed a man to have a good life. There wasn't enough strong men to go around. So the women shared.

I don't see the need or utility of it in modern society. Women are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves. Now if you had some sort of love triangle thing going on, maybe there would be reason for it.

 

[franklin]

Everyone's talking current situation like nobody seen that video two girls one kid.

Two girls, one kid.

 

[moevillini]

so does your question apply to a woman having multiple husbands? or multiple folks of any variety of genders having friendships with benefits with others in the group?


seems to me like it would just get very confusing