Leesee, polish off a box of Twinkies before I set one foot on the floor. Debate getting out of bed at all. Finally decided I might as well. Lumber to the bathroom for dookie #1. Back to bed, I lost the fight. Fall briefly back to sleep. Wake up to slobber on my pillow and a Twinkie wrapper stuck to my head. Stumble into the kitchen. Bowl of frosted flakes or lucky charms with whatever liquid I can find in the fridge, usually milk. Sometimes oj. Occasionally NyQuil. On NyQuil days fall asleep in my cereal bowl. Wake up to lucky charms marshmallows stuck on my forehead. Roll into the floor and let the dogs lick me clean. Not there you pervs, unless they are really into it. Wander back into the bathroom for dookie #2. Occasionally dookie #2 comes in the shower, just waffle-stomp that ****er down the drain. Oh yeah, shower, most days. Otherwise debate changing underwear. Find a lost Twinkie, polish that off, depending on how chewy it is. Who am I kidding, polish it off anyway. Put mostly human-looking clothes on my body, hopefully after drying off from the shower. Oh yeah, after shower lay down on the floor in the middle of the bedroom to dry off. Then put on clothes. Stagger to the couch. Turn on Hulu or some ****. Dig a Twinkie out of the couch if I'm lucky.
And all that before 2 pm.