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Anyone else an Amazon Vine Voice?

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About a month ago I got what I considered to be a super sketchy email claiming to be from Amazon. It informed me that I was being invited to become an Amazon Vine Voice where I would be sent products for free*** in exchange for providing honest reviews.

So huge caveat #1 ***is that the items sent have an "estimated taxable value" which would directly translate into income when you file taxes.

Huge caveat #2 is that while there are about 20,000 items available every day and even at the beginner tier you can select up to three items per day with a value of up to $100, 98% of items are either straight garbage or are not at all desirable. Obviously desirability is subjective and can change day to day, but I probably don't need female toddler rain boots or a breathing straw reminder necklace (search it).

You are not supposed to sell items for 6 months after receiving them but I can't imagine any actual enforcement of that. You are fully allowed to use them and dispose of them as you see fit from time of purchase.

To remain on bottom tier you must review at least 50% of the free items you get. To achieve top tier (more details on that next) you must review at least 90% of the items you receive and review at least 100 items per 6 month evaluation period.

When you do achieve top tier status (their are only two tiers ATM and this is a relatively new thing) you can get up to 8 items per day and there is no limit to the value of these items. There are reports that high end watches worth around $9000 have been available or massage chairs worth several thousand dollars, but on the amazon vine sub reddit (is that how you say that?) it is clear that this is the exception and you've got to be in the right place at the right time to get stuff like that. Keep in mind, the value of the item counts as income, so it's really like having a really good coupon, not like getting something for free.

This is an invitation only program and the selection process is pretty mysterious. I'm a Yelp! Elite member, so I'm not completely unfamiliar with being selected for writing better than average reviews for things. I really only review about 30% of my Amazon orders but when I do I write very honest and detailed reviews. I use all 5 stars as described in most 5 star breakdowns. For something that meets expectations I give 3 stars, 4 and 5 stars are reserved for things that are clearly above average, 2 stars is for a disappointing product, 1 star is for something that is almost fraudulent in its description. I'm not a ****ing moron so I don't base reviews on things like FedEx drop kicking the box onto my doorstep, because that's a delivery issue not an item issue. I also don't base my review on getting a defective item, but I do base my review on the solution to receiving a defective item. One of the easier ways to a 5 star review from me is to address the issue and make it right without hassle. Defective items are mentioned along with the path to resolution. An item that has a very high defect rate should be made clear to potential buyers, but some random one-off defect is expected from anything and everything.

Anyway, it's been weird. I've started to amass a collection of fidget gadgets. My wife (small violation of TOS as I'm supposed to get things for my use and review them based solely on my experience with them) has asked me to order things for stuff like her bosses retirement party. I've discovered that Amazon sells scalpels and even pocket knife "flipper" scalpels and I have a few of those now. I've gotten several storage and organization items. I got a new Ph meter. I got a gas leak sniffer. I got an endoscope/borescope that connects to my phone via an app. I got a submersible sump pump that is pretty beefy. Weird stuff. It's a lot to sort through because there are about 20,000 items every day.

It is only the land of the free and the home of the brave that considers the items you get as income. Everywhere else these are just free and clear items. It's almost like freedom and opportunity in the U.S. is just for the VIPs and the rest of us are actually indentured servants living in an illusion of freedom and liberty. But what the **** do I know? Not much, clearly.
 
Just want to say that the above is a classic example of a Gameface "drunk post"

I typically get accused of drunk posting when I'm not drunk at all, so I just wanted to put a post on record as being an actual drunk post.

I had a disastrous job interview earlier today and I'm not feeling very good. My hopes had been high but now they are very low. I've had 3 beers and 3 1oz shots. I'm not all the way done for the night, but I'm 80% there. When you see a TMI post from me, like the one above it is possibly but not always a drunk post. When I make an angry post it is usually, but not always, NOT a drunk post. I'm not an angry drunk. Never have been.

This entire post has been unnecessary, probably ill-advised. I just wanted to provide an example of what actual drunk posts by me looks like. 90% of the time when I've been accused of drunk posting I made the suspected post when sober. I'm an emotional person. I'm not really more emotional, or at least not more aggressively emotional when drunk.

So this is for people who have attempted to dunk on me for being some out of control angry alcoholic. This is me posting while drunk. When I wake up tomorrow I expect that I'll be embarrassed about the overshare, not the incoherence.

I'll post an update just before I go to bed.
 
I should also say, I kind of intended this as an AMA ("ask me anything" for the boomers) about the Amazon Vine Voice program. My understanding is that they are expanding it significantly, so some of you will likely be asked to participate. I didn't fully understand the program when I joined, so maybe I can help.

Or maybe you've seen a "Vine Voice Review" and wondered WTF is that? I'll tell you that I have no pressure to give a positive review and giving positive reviews has nothing to do with my continued participation in the Vine Voice program. However, I do feel pressure to give reviews for items more quickly than I would otherwise, so my reviews have been more about first impressions than extensive experience. I've also been more positive about stuff I get for free compared to stuff I've paid for, but I still slam garbage for being garbage.

Okay. I'm hours away from bedtime. Keep posted if concerned.
 
I've been looking at those flipper scalpels. Hook a brother up?
 
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