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I just got married. Advice?

kwb said:
Even though you're married, don't let yourself go. Keep lifting hard for 5 months and then keep going. The pumps are great. Sorry, I couldn't resist. But seriously, congrats man!
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Post of the thread.
 
Thanks for all the advice both the smart *** one's and the sincere ones. I just got back from an awesome honeymoon. It seems like I've been gone way longer than a week, but I'm back.
 
Beantown said:
Just make sure she knows that you want to hang out with her and do things togethor. It seems the only time my wife really gets mad is when I go hang out with friends too much, golfing, basketball, man movies etc...

So if you have alot of close friends be careful about that.
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Haha, compare this Beantown drudge with what I wrote on the first page:

There are lots of people with good advice, but let me give you a little that you're not likely to hear. First, don't put too much pressure on your interactions. Today most people have jobs + fill their idle time (ahem, this site) with intensely interactive exchanges. Marriage isn't often that, or at least I don't think it should be. It's too hard to live under those expectations. Second -- and related to the first -- in addition to supporting and exploring experiences that you can share together, you should support WITH EQUAL VIGOR new experiences for your partner, in which you know she is interested, but DON'T include you. Too many of my friends have gotten paranoid when their partner has inspirations that take them out of their intensely interactive little niche and many partners don't explore enough outside the limited range of their shared interests.

There is some obvious contrast here. I'd suggest, like always, not following the wisdom of the Beanturd.

heh, "man movies." Seriously, Bean, your life sounds like a prison, both self-inflicted and unconscious.
 
Lots of posts, but I don't think this one has been mentioned. Don't always try to solve her problems. Men almost always want to put on the "Fix it cap" and rattle off a solution the moment they hear a problem. Here is the key to remember, most women will solve their own problems! All you have to do is listen to them. Don't offer up solutions, just listen attentively and sincerely. Women need validation for the way they feel, and listening is the best way to do that. I can't tell you how many times in my 7 years of marriage (after I learned how to do this), I have simply listened attentively and her problems magically go away.
 
Rimcheck said:
Lots of posts, but I don't think this one has been mentioned. Don't always try to solve her problems. Men almost always want to put on the "Fix it cap" and rattle off a solution the moment they hear a problem. Here is the key to remember, most women will solve their own problems! All you have to do is listen to them. Don't offer up solutions, just listen attentively and sincerely. Women need validation for the way they feel, and listening is the best way to do that. I can't tell you how many times in my 7 years of marriage (after I learned how to do this), I have simply listened attentively and her problems magically go away.
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That, and he also learned how to give a rimcheck.
 
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