^Don't listen to that techno babble. It's a cover.
The NSA is after BABE
48 hours ago the NSA burst into Jason's home, duct taped him to his waterbed, and took control of JF. They shut down JF under the cover of "required maintenance" and turned their Lehi supercomputers loose on the worst sports board on the interwebs. After hours of crunching data they were still no closer to understanding what Babe's next move would be(or even what his first move was). Earlier this afternoon Agent Chet, the lead investigator, ordered that the data be sent to Haarp and broadcast into space with a final line that read "Please decipher". A few hours from now Chet will realize that it may take longer than he had hoped before he gets a response at which point he will decide to move on and do this old skool.
Their next physical target will be Dr. Jones, aka PKM. The doctor appears to be the financier of the whole operation. Money men are their favorite snitches. At exactly 0200 hours the marines will be dispatched to secure the doctors desert compound. At 0201 peeks will get out of bed to shut off the alarm certain that it's just trout peeking in the windows again. While peeks is trying to remember which one of his kids birthdays to input, a trigger happy recruit will shoot him blowing off the ring finger on his left hand. Peeks 1st thought will be "how am I going to splain this to my wife/cousin". With his finger throbbing and clueless as to where trout got the money to hire these goons Peeks quickly agrees to turn narc.
At 0500 hours(which must be like noon in Canada) they go after Dal. Rather than put boots on the ground they will send a drone and smoke him. Why? because 1) he's muslim and 2) He's not a US citizen. They don't even have to try and hide this one. Standard practice.
0600 they pick up Siro while he's stumbling down North Temple, punching himself in the chest, and screaming to the wind "I showed that bitch One love. I showed him hard and I ain't sorry. Not guilty, Weinersnitchel!" They will handcuff him in the back of a van where they plan to let him starve to death because 1) He's a muslim and 2) He's an atheist. He's like a double muslim.
Luckily for the rest of us Babe figured this all out last week. He went out to the middle of his pasture uncovered his trap door and began preparing his collection of ham radios for shipping with a letter explaining how to work them. He was going to overnight the radios Fedex but was insulted not only by the insane premium he was going to have to pay but also because they would not accept a personal check(srsly babe just get a debit card already). He opted to send them via USPS standard delivery. Unfortunately most of us will either not be able to figure out how to use them, or will brush it off with an "OK...".
Most of us get picked up, tortured, and disposed of in a FEMA camp. Babe escapes to North Carolina where he poses as a transgender trucker named Jesse. There he leads the fight to ensure that people use their birth bathrooms because if he sits down to pee it all becomes too real and he is haunted by the memories of his JF crew.
