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Larry David loves the Bush tax cuts

Marty McFly

Marty McFly

Well-Known Member
This is a little old but I haven't seen it posted here. Larry is great.

THERE is a God! It passed! The Bush tax cuts have been extended two years for the upper bracketeers, of which I am a proud member, thank you very much. I’m the last person in the world I’d want to be beside, but I am beside myself! This is a life changer, I tell you. A life changer!

To begin with, I was planning a trip to Cabo with my kids for Christmas vacation. We were going to fly coach, but now with the money I’m saving in taxes, I’m going to splurge and bump myself up to first class. First class! Somebody told me they serve warm nuts up there, and call you “mister.” I might not get off the plane!

I’m also going to call the hotel and get another room so I don’t have to sleep on a cot in the kids’ room. Don’t get me wrong — I love a good cot. The problem is they tend to take up a lot of room, and it’s getting a little tougher in my advancing years to fold it up and drag it to the closet. I mean, I’d do it if I had to, but guess what? I don’t! Not with this windfall coming my way. Now I get to have my own room with a king-sized bed. And who knows, maybe I’ll even get some fancy bottled water from the minibar. This is shaping up to be the best vacation I’ve had in years.

When I get home, thanks to the great compromise, the first thing I’m going to do is get a flat-screen TV. Finally I can throw out the 20-inch Zenith with the rabbit ears, the one I inherited from my parents when they died. The reception is terrible and I’m getting tired of going out to bars every time I want to watch a game. Last month, the antenna broke and I tried to improvise one with a metal hanger and wound up cutting myself. Every time I see that scab, I say to myself, “If, God willing, those Bush tax cuts are restored, I’m going to buy a new TV.” Well, guess what? They have been!

It’s also going to be a boon for my health. After years of coveting them, I’ll finally be able to afford blueberries. Did you know they have a lot of antioxidants, which prevent cancer? Cancer! This tax cut just might save my life. Who said Republicans don’t support health care? I’m going to have the blueberries with my cereal, and I’m not talking Special K. Those days are over. It’s nothing but real granola from now on. The kind you get in the plastic bins in health food stores. Did someone say “organic”?

The only problem is if, God forbid, the tax cuts are repealed in two years, how will I ever go back to Special K and bananas? Well, I did quit smoking, so I’m sure if push came to shove I could summon up the willpower to get off granola and blueberries. Of course, I suppose with the money I managed to save from the “Seinfeld” syndication, I probably could continue to eat granola with blueberries, but let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.

Life was good, and now it’s even better. Thank you, Republicans. And a special thank you to President Obama and the Democrats. I didn’t know you cared.
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https://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/21/opinion/21david.html
 
He isn't keeping any more of his money, his taxes will simply stay the same. Guess he'll be stuck flying coach.

The idea that you can only keep what's yours if you can justify your need to keep it always rubs me the wrong way.

This wasn't funny. I got it, Larry David already flies first class and gets the kids a seperate suite at the hotel. His life will not change at all. Still not funny.
 
Gameface said:
This wasn't funny. I got it, Larry David already flies first class and gets the kids a seperate suite at the hotel. His life will not change at all. Still not funny.
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The intent was not humor, so I'm glad you didn't find it funny.

The intent was to sardonically denigrate dimwit, trickle-down, failed, republican taxation philosophy. Hopefully, anyone who subscribes to said philosophy and read this column felt denigrated and dim-witted and condescended to, rather than tickled.
 
balli said:
The intent was not humor, so I'm glad you didn't find it funny.

The intent was to sardonically denigrate dimwit, trickle-down, failed, republican taxation philosophy. Hopefully, anyone who subscribes to said philosophy and read this column felt denigrated and dim-witted and condescended to, rather than tickled.
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So the money Larry David gets paid, who do you think it belongs to? Just wondering.
 
That was dumb. If he really wants to pay more taxes I'm sure Uncle Sam would gladly accept a donation. God forbid people should get to keep more of what they work to build. Seriously, what an *******.

I suppose he thinks he is cleverly attacking the extension but his words are hollow. They mean nothing. If he's really so against it, he should send in some extra money. This is nothing but pathetic "Look how caring I am, let me tell you about it" attention whoring.
 
Gameface said:
So the money Larry David gets paid, who do you think it belongs to? Just wondering.
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As much as he needs to live a fabulously luxurious life, and then some, belongs to him. Some of it belongs to the society that enabled his monetary success.
 
This is why I come to a Utahn sports message board: intelligence and logic.

A few of you made the point that the money Larry David makes "belongs" to Mr. David and that people deserve to be paid the amount they get simply because they get it. This is absolutely true! 1% of Americans may get 25% of the wealth of America, more than the lower 50% combined, but who cares about that! If it were 1% getting 99%, we would still make the same argument: they deserve that money because they get it. And we don't want no commie socialist policy that will easily fix it! Wre so smrt!

Oh, and I don't expect any of you to understand the satire in Mr. David's post or anywhere else.

- Craig
 
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