kiri.de.carlos
Well-Known Member
Interesting series facts before we shut out the Clippers:
Both teams have played 12 of their 15 players. Chris Paul is awesome; he leads in several categories including most temper tantrums. Every one of our players who has seen the court is top 5 in at least one stat in the series, taking into account both Clipper and Jazz players. Rudy’s stats and Haywards are made even more impressive when you realize that the knee game and food poisoning game are used in their averages. Boris is shooting much better than I would have thought, and Mack hasn’t had a turnover! No wonder we are winning! Also, Crawford is 100% useless if he isn’t shooting well. He is one of the lowest in rebounding despite being bigger, and he is pretty low in other stats as well.
Now for the player introductions:
Probably starting:
Food poisoning can’t keep him down, Gordon Hayward
Tied for most 3pa per game, and has most 3pm per game, most ftm per game, 2nd in ppg at 21.8, 2nd in fta per game, 2nd for ft% at 96.4%, 3rd most dreb and total reb, 4th in fgm, 3rd in fga, 4th in 3p% 46.2%, 5th most minutes at 34.2, tied for 5th in assists per game
As focused as Fat Boris at the espresso shop, George Hill
Has played the most minutes, 3rd most 3pm and 3pa, 3rd most assists per game, 4th in fga, 4th in ftm, 5th most points per game, 5th most fta
Taking advantage of old man Pierce, Boris Diaw
4th in assist/game, 5th best 3p% 44.4%
Longest Eurostep you’ve ever seen, Rudy Gobert
2nd in fg% 71.4%, 2nd in dreb and total reb/game, 2nd in steals, 2nd in blocks, 4th in oreb
Just try to get past him, Joe Ingles
2nd in assists, 3rd most steals, tied for 3rd most blocks, tied for 4th in 3pm, 4th in ft%
Coming off the bench:
Mr. can only make shots in the 4th quarter, Rodney Hood
Tied for most 3 pointers attempted per game, 2nd in 3pm, 3rd least turnovers, 4th best plus and minus
Single handedly making yoga cool again, Joe Johnson
2nd best plus/minus per game, 3rd most fgm and fga, 4th most ppg at 18.2, tied for 4th in 3pm, 4th in 3pa, 5th best fg% at 53.4%, tied for 5th in assists
Getting his legs back and looking fine, Derrick Favors
3rd most blocks, 4th in fg% at 66.7%, 5th least turnovers
We grow them taller in Kansas, Jeff Withey
0 turnovers in the series, 3rd most oreb, 4th in blocks
Spin move around every screen, Raul Neto
Tied for best fg% at 100%, tied for best 3p% at 100%, 4th least assists per game
Looks like he could use 4 more years in the pouch, Dante Exum*
Tied for best fg% at 100%, tied for best 3p% at 100%, 0 turnovers in series
Most likely to laugh maniacally while eating a child’s pet, Shelvin Mack
0 turnovers in the series
Take your pick to be inactive:
He'll have your daughter home by 10, Alec Burks
Has logged 0 minutes
Could grab a board or two, Joel Bolomboy
Has logged 0 minutes
#1 Kobe Fan, Trey Lyles
Has logged 0 minutes
Coached by:
I’ll meet you out back, Quin Snyder
First in coaching wins, first in evil looks, first in our hearts
*I’m not talking about Exum’s playing; just his looks calm down people
Both teams have played 12 of their 15 players. Chris Paul is awesome; he leads in several categories including most temper tantrums. Every one of our players who has seen the court is top 5 in at least one stat in the series, taking into account both Clipper and Jazz players. Rudy’s stats and Haywards are made even more impressive when you realize that the knee game and food poisoning game are used in their averages. Boris is shooting much better than I would have thought, and Mack hasn’t had a turnover! No wonder we are winning! Also, Crawford is 100% useless if he isn’t shooting well. He is one of the lowest in rebounding despite being bigger, and he is pretty low in other stats as well.
Now for the player introductions:
Probably starting:
Food poisoning can’t keep him down, Gordon Hayward
Tied for most 3pa per game, and has most 3pm per game, most ftm per game, 2nd in ppg at 21.8, 2nd in fta per game, 2nd for ft% at 96.4%, 3rd most dreb and total reb, 4th in fgm, 3rd in fga, 4th in 3p% 46.2%, 5th most minutes at 34.2, tied for 5th in assists per game
As focused as Fat Boris at the espresso shop, George Hill
Has played the most minutes, 3rd most 3pm and 3pa, 3rd most assists per game, 4th in fga, 4th in ftm, 5th most points per game, 5th most fta
Taking advantage of old man Pierce, Boris Diaw
4th in assist/game, 5th best 3p% 44.4%
Longest Eurostep you’ve ever seen, Rudy Gobert
2nd in fg% 71.4%, 2nd in dreb and total reb/game, 2nd in steals, 2nd in blocks, 4th in oreb
Just try to get past him, Joe Ingles
2nd in assists, 3rd most steals, tied for 3rd most blocks, tied for 4th in 3pm, 4th in ft%
Coming off the bench:
Mr. can only make shots in the 4th quarter, Rodney Hood
Tied for most 3 pointers attempted per game, 2nd in 3pm, 3rd least turnovers, 4th best plus and minus
Single handedly making yoga cool again, Joe Johnson
2nd best plus/minus per game, 3rd most fgm and fga, 4th most ppg at 18.2, tied for 4th in 3pm, 4th in 3pa, 5th best fg% at 53.4%, tied for 5th in assists
Getting his legs back and looking fine, Derrick Favors
3rd most blocks, 4th in fg% at 66.7%, 5th least turnovers
We grow them taller in Kansas, Jeff Withey
0 turnovers in the series, 3rd most oreb, 4th in blocks
Spin move around every screen, Raul Neto
Tied for best fg% at 100%, tied for best 3p% at 100%, 4th least assists per game
Looks like he could use 4 more years in the pouch, Dante Exum*
Tied for best fg% at 100%, tied for best 3p% at 100%, 0 turnovers in series
Most likely to laugh maniacally while eating a child’s pet, Shelvin Mack
0 turnovers in the series
Take your pick to be inactive:
He'll have your daughter home by 10, Alec Burks
Has logged 0 minutes
Could grab a board or two, Joel Bolomboy
Has logged 0 minutes
#1 Kobe Fan, Trey Lyles
Has logged 0 minutes
Coached by:
I’ll meet you out back, Quin Snyder
First in coaching wins, first in evil looks, first in our hearts
*I’m not talking about Exum’s playing; just his looks calm down people
