Stupid Pet Peeves

[Rubashov]

Further Adventures in IBS.


Have you ever had a pure liquid poo, like leaking out of your balloon knot and you are not aware of it kind of liquid poo? Lately, for whatever reason (I think it is a change in some of my meds but my doctor always insists that isn't it, but whatever) I have had changes in my IBS symptoms and occasionally I pee out my poo-hole, essentially. Sometimes it is accompanied by cramping, but sometimes it also refuses to announce itself, like a ninja squirt or something. So I was walking around one of the warehouses with the customer and I felt a tickle at the back of my knee. I disregarded it because the khakis I was wearing held onto static cling and I thought it was just that. I am walking around, past, you know, dozens of workers, we are looking at infrastructure and equipment changes in the warehouse. Finally I reach back to scratch that tickle and find my pants, all the way down to the knee, are wet. I keep reaching up and sure enough it originated at the source of the bung itself. I look back, and luckily it isn't a pure chocolate river, but just muddy water, not crazy noticeable other than the wet streak. I excuse myself and hustle back to my office. I have started keeping a change in my office for obvious reason. I change in the bathroom and notice the smell is pretty purtrid, so I stuff my pants in the garbage can in the bathroom (under the liner, not in with the towels) to hide the smell. I will get them out later I guess, I don't know. So I go out and realize I left my wallet and keys in my other pants in the garbage can. So I am in the bathroom, fishing around to find the pants, pull them out, dig around for the keys, and then the customer walks in. Luckily I do have pants on but, what the **** do you say in that situation? Standing over the garbage can, ****** pants in your hand, digging around in the pockets. I smiled what I imagine was a winning smile and finish fishing my **** out of the pants, stuff them back down under the trash can liner, and say "see you at lunch".

Yep. Nailed it.

I ended getting food poisoning in Spain, ended up cramped on the floor of a bathroom ******** chocolate sauce everywhere, no bog roll to be had. Horrible ****ing night.

 

[LogGrad98]

Guess what? I am so excited!! After the butthole-peeing debacle I am getting a colonoscopy!! Yay!.....?

I know I have diverticulitis. It is pretty common as you age, and it flares up from time to time. The frequency has increased with my recent changes in my IBS symptoms so he wants to go see what is going on in there. He said sometimes this can point to other potential problems like cancer or leakage or some such. I suppose it is about time and probably for the best, but is pretty hard to get excited about getting a tube shoved up my mudslide, at least without any furries or ball-gags involved.

 

[LogGrad98]

I've had some not as bad but similar stories.

My first time using a squat chinese toilet was when I had really bad food poisoning. I felt the urge and had to rush to a toilet during my teams competition and I didn't quite make it. Most is it did, but it was everywhere. There also wasnt toilet paper, which is normal in China. So I had to use a combination of socks and my underwear to clean things up. Then wash my pants in the sink (luckily black sports type pants). At some point a security person came in and saw me bottomless washing up and walked right back out.

I had a friend with a similar story in Japan on that kind of toilet. I get that squatting is actually better for dropping a deuce...I have a squatty potty...but to just squat down over a hole where aim just has to be an issue and I am sure your pants are dragging in who-knows-what liquid, would be nearly a non-starter for me. Of course, I have done so in a garbage can in an emergency so I guess it can't be too far off that.

It was a garbage can in a subway in Paris in the middle of the night on a deserted platform waiting for the one train that ran later on that spur or whatever. I thought if I could get on the train I could make it home before it all came rushing out, but no luck. I found a garbage can at the end of the platform and had my wife keep watch while I filled it up with toxic waste. So bad. My wife was 30 feet away and gagging. Fun times. These are the memories of Paris. I felt bad for that janitorial worker who found that the next day.

 

[JazzGal]

Guess what? I am so excited!! After the butthole-peeing debacle I am getting a colonoscopy!! Yay!.....?

I know I have diverticulitis. It is pretty common as you age, and it flares up from time to time. The frequency has increased with my recent changes in my IBS symptoms so he wants to go see what is going on in there. He said sometimes this can point to other potential problems like cancer or leakage or some such. I suppose it is about time and probably for the best, but is pretty hard to get excited about getting a tube shoved up my mudslide, at least without any furries or ball-gags involved.

The colonoscopy itself is easy. You are sedated and wake up feeling good. You just have to fart a few times and you are good to go.

The prep isn't fun, but since you already are losing everything it may be easy for you.

Sent from my moto z3 using JazzFanz mobile app

 

[Rubashov]

Guess what? I am so excited!! After the butthole-peeing debacle I am getting a colonoscopy!! Yay!.....?

I know I have diverticulitis. It is pretty common as you age, and it flares up from time to time. The frequency has increased with my recent changes in my IBS symptoms so he wants to go see what is going on in there. He said sometimes this can point to other potential problems like cancer or leakage or some such. I suppose it is about time and probably for the best, but is pretty hard to get excited about getting a tube shoved up my mudslide, at least without any furries or ball-gags involved.

Think of it more as a camera crew up your arsehole

 

[LogGrad98]

Think of it more as a camera crew up your arsehole

Been there

 

[Gameface]

I've been in my house since 2006 and I just lost my 4th microwave. The other just completely died and wouldn't turn on at all, this one will turn on but as soon as you try to start microwaving it trips the breaker in my main power panel. I thought maybe the breaker was bad so I got a heavy duty extension cord and plugged the microwave into two different circuits and they both tripped immediately.

What kind of curse is going on with my microwaves? Before I lived here I've never had a microwave die. I remember as a kid we had a microwave stop working and my dad changed out the magnetron and everything was great again, but these guys aren't really intended to be user serviceable.

 

[Rubashov]

I've been in my house since 2006 and I just lost my 4th microwave. The other just completely died and wouldn't turn on at all, this one will turn on but as soon as you try to start microwaving it trips the breaker in my main power panel. I thought maybe the breaker was bad so I got a heavy duty extension cord and plugged the microwave into two different circuits and they both tripped immediately.

What kind of curse is going on with my microwaves? Before I lived here I've never had a microwave die. I remember as a kid we had a microwave stop working and my dad changed out the magnetron and everything was great again, but these guys aren't really intended to be user serviceable.

Its not the microwave its your fuse board, we had some similar issues at my folks place, as the years went on the juice being sucked at the back end of the house in the living areas grew, TV, home entertainment system, dual fridge freezers, other freezers, microwave, another TV, phones on charge, photocopier, Wifi, the stereo and on and on and on. Almost weekly the safety witch would trigger when we'd put the kettle on. When they put the home dialysis unit in for the folks part of the job was re-wiring the fuse board to allow for the additional juice requirements, they told us the house was already sucking more juice that the board could handle.

 

[Gameface]

This is a picture on KSL showing a woman getting checked into her COVID test. I'm at a loss for words...

 

[LogGrad98]

This is a picture on KSL showing a woman getting checked into her COVID test. I'm at a loss for words...

So many questions. First I think that if she has been in that line for a long time I could see her taking her baby out of the seat because it is a long wait. None of the other kids are restrained so that could be the case, waiting in line for a long time. No masks of course, but does Utah have any kind of mask mandate right now? That is a pretty Utah-standard picture tbh.

 

[Gameface]

So many questions. First I think that if she has been in that line for a long time I could see her taking her baby out of the seat because it is a long wait. None of the other kids are restrained so that could be the case, waiting in line for a long time. No masks of course, but does Utah have any kind of mask mandate right now? That is a pretty Utah-standard picture tbh.

With or without a mask mandate, if you think you have COVID, thus going for a check, it'd be considerate to wear a mask when interacting with people that have to see hundreds of possible COVID patients a day.

That baby is a fender bender away from being all the way demolished and killed when the air bag goes off.

I personally wouldn't care if we were in line for hours, my kids wouldn't be climbing all over the car, standing on the center console, head out the sun roof yelling at the lady trying to help.

This should be a poster of how not to be as a parent.

 

[SoberasHotRod]

With or without a mask mandate, if you think you have COVID, thus going for a check, it'd be considerate to wear a mask when interacting with people that have to see hundreds of possible COVID patients a day.

That baby is a fender bender away from being all the way demolished and killed when the air bag goes off.

I personally wouldn't care if we were in line for hours, my kids wouldn't be climbing all over the car, standing on the center console, head out the sun roof yelling at the lady trying to help.

This should be a poster of how not to be as a parent.

I agree with what you are saying, but I'll just point out that being a parent is really hard. Being a parent of screaming children that are bored waiting in a car that isn't moving is really really hard. It could make you do some stupid stuff.