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The Баба-яга

sirkickyass

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There are a lot of ways to respond to our current Russian crisis. Mine, as it usually is, has been a little esoteric and intense. Simply put: I'm teaching myself to speak Russian and immersing myself in the culture in a real effort to figure out who these people are that attacked us and what they want. I think we've been very naive because the Russians appear nominally white so we assume that they are about as much like us as the French or the Italians. They are still kind of foreign but in a way we recognize.

No. The Russians are just as foreign to us as the Japanese or Chinese. They are driven by totally different cultural histories and psychological forces than we are. The last few months have been an experience.

Part of my process has been to get very familiar with the cultural myths that all Russian children are taught. This means I'm reading their fairy tales and there's one figure that I am continually fascinated by: the Baba Yaga. She has a lot of different variations, but she's uniformly old, powerful, and lives in a hut that stands on Chicken legs in the forest. She flies around in a mortar, steers with a pestle and covers her trail with a broom.

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A lot of the Baba Yaga's behavior is difficult to totally explain. She's not necessarily evil, but she does eat people who cross her, and she does appear to play by some set of moral rules that are only known to her. I have a lot of theories about the Baba Yaga as a figure in the Russian psyche. She embraces a specific kind of ambiguity that is unacceptable to Westerners. A consistent moral of Baba Yaga stories is that asking too many questions is gonna get one got; which is a pretty non-Western lesson to take away from literature. There's also a specific story about Baba Yaga and a nimble youth that has elements of Hansel and Gretel in it that I think explains a lot of the way Putin interacts with the concept of truth. The Yaga can teach us much about the Russian.

But there's one thing I want to know that is a total mystery: Why does the Baba Yaga break into people's houses and count their spoons? This comes up A LOT. She's always breaking in and molesting the silverware. See for example this first place entry in a Baba Yaga art contest.

TheFirstPlaceBabaYagaEntry.jpg


Post your theories below: What's up with all the spoon counting?


As always, bringing you the most important content of the day: Sirkickyass
 
Lol. Baba Yaga is just a regular witch with some Slavic folklore variations. As far as spoon counting? Maybe it is her way of tracking how many occupants are in the house - means one spoon per one occupant...
 
Lol. Baba Yaga is just a regular witch with some Slavic folklore variations. As far as spoon counting? Maybe it is her way of tracking how many occupants are in the house - means one spoon per one occupant...

Dude, she lives in a ****ing hut with chicken legs and has disembodied hands that do her bidding. She is not just a "regular witch."

She has a name and her eyes are up here.
 
Uhh... the Russians attacked us?


Oh and that lady totally is a weird Russian witch. Kinda obvious she's a witch. Chicken feet, mortar and pestle, broom, lives in woods, eats people. How is she not a witch?
 
Cuz Russians are poor and cold so they mostly eat soup. She probably demands soup as payment so she doesnt kill them. If they got too many spoons that means they are eating too much soup and they must die.

See this guy gets it. That's a good answer. It also encourages the reader to keep less silverware and do the dishes more regularly to throw the Yaga off the scent. Good moral. I like it. Gotta eat your soup more stealthily.

Uhh... the Russians attacked us?


Oh and that lady totally is a weird Russian witch. Kinda obvious she's a witch. Chicken feet, mortar and pestle, broom, lives in woods, eats people. How is she not a witch?


This guy knows nothing. Post reported for ignorance. He could learn a lot from Saint Cy's soup-based reasoning.

a) It's not exactly clear that the Yaga is even human. She's sometimes referred to as the grandmother of all witches, which implies other witches exist but they are rarely seen. Sometimes she has other sisters that are named Baba Yaga which implies some kind of Pokemon like existence where it's the name of a subspecies rather than a person. She's definitely not a cannibal but she does eat people, and boy does she have an appetite. A witch isn't exactly a profession, but it's definitely a vocation. Which brings us to a related point:

b) My quibble was with the phrasing "just a regular witch." That's like calling Stinger Bell "just a regular businessman" or you "just a regular know-nothing about the Baba Yaga." She's above and beyond that. She's not a lesser demon like Beelzebub. She's the grand high Satan himself. And she's coming for your spoons.

Also yes, there's a digital war on and Russia is the aggressor. Keep up. They have specific words that mean "information weapon" in their language and they are deploying them against us. Learn something about your enemy.
 
Big deal of a simple. This is story with long tradition of scaring children to behave. Like Santa Clause. She is a god like figure like in Christianity Old Testament capable of committing horrific atrocities but always protecting innocents. You can understand Fairy God Mother story but also add that the kind old lady punishes evil? This is how Russians think. Top boss does good for deserving an metes out evil for evil.
 
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This is common European character not just Russian. Read Frau Holle by Brothers Grimm also known as Holda, Hulda, etc. she is but one example of Scandinavian goddess figures.

I say Santa Clause cause 12 days of Christmas comes from these lady gods that sneak into houses an either gift or kill. Perchta disembowels naughty people an was linked to silver gifting. She also had a goose leg kinda like the one you inquire about.
 
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If you look closely at the spoons they appear to be different sizes and shapes. I think she is sizing them up for the best one to scoop out the eyes or her latest victim to put in her soup.
 
I worry more about the Germans. They did start both of our world wars, after all.

I listen to this one first.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=La4Dcd1aUcE
 
Then I listen to this one, and even though I've only taken one year of German I try to decipher any possible coded messages Nena might be sending to the Germans.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqrqfp6agug
 
Mostly I just really like looking at Nena. She hot.
 
One more chance to look at Nena

Still hot

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBjORE4I-qU
 
I learned about Baba Yaga as a young boy playing the game Hero's Quest.

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It changed my life.

Gobert is the Baba Yaga of the NBA.
He has long chicken legs, can fly, wields a pestle to grind his opponents, with his iron teeth he chews up and spits out interior shots, and he scares the crap out of all opposing players and fans.

Gobert = Baba Yaga
 
Gobert is the Baba Yaga of the NBA.
He has long chicken legs, can fly, wields a pestle to grind his opponents, with his iron teeth he chews up and spits out interior shots, and he scares the crap out of all opposing players and fans.

Gobert = Baba Yaga

Quoted for accuracy.
 
This is common European character not just Russian. Read Frau Holle by Brothers Grimm also known as Holda, Hulda, etc. she is but one example of Scandinavian goddess figures.

Other slavic countries have variations. My secretary, who's from Serbia, knows her as the "Babaroga" and the stories are slightly different and less ambiguous.

Alright, Boris since I'm asking you the hard questions about Russia:

In Gogol's "Dead Souls" he refers vaguely to a disgusting color of yellow that all the buildings in Russia turn over time. He literally just asserts "we all know the color." What is this color?
 
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