I wrote a little song, to commemorate the leaving of one of our dearest.
A Short, short time ago...
I can still remember
How that doufos used to make me cry.
And I knew if he had his chance
That he could make those jazz fans wince
And, maybe, they’d be pissed off for a while.
But May and April made me shiver
With every appearance he couldn't deliver.
Bad news on the baseline;
He could hardly take one more step.
I can’t remember if I cried
When I read about his traded hide,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the bitches boomed.
(CHORUS)
So bye-bye, you greek american guy.
Drove my chevy to the ESA,
Cuz the arena's not dry
And them grown up men were yelling’ screaming, and cryin'
Singin’, "this’ll be the day the bitches boomed
"this’ll be the bitches go boom.
*Cue key and tempo change.
Did you write the book of suck
Cuz you're not having any luck
I guess if coach sloan tells you so
Do you believe in pick’n roll,
Can defense save your mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to run real slow?
Well, I know that you’re afraid of him
But you're 7'1 and he's six foot 10
Even without your shoes
You could paint his *** black and blue
You were a lonely teenage Ohio’ buck
With potential and an *** like a truck,
But I knew we was out of luck
The day the bitches boomed.
(REPEAT CHORUS)
Now for many years we’ve been on our own
Since the grievous loss of Stock and Malone
But that’s not how we used to be.
Our centers used to be tall and mean
They were still slow but at least they played D.
Os-ter-tag played hard with one kidney (had no clue what to rhyme here)
Oh, but while the king was looking down,
KOC stole his free agency crown.
The GM's meeting was adjourned;
And Koufus shall not return.
Jazzfanz thought 'twas a summer of farce
With our team full of missing parts,
WHice O'Connor did dealings in the dark
The day the bitches boomed.
(Repeat Chorus)
Helter skelter in this summer swelter.
The King left Cleveland, in a fallout shelter,
3 Heated Kings and falling fast.
3 stars landed on the beach.
An angry owner called him a leech ,
With Donnie Walsh on the sidelines in a cast.
Now the mountain air was not perfume
With the Jazz undecided on their tune.
But We all got up to dance,
Because we finally got a chance!
`cause when Koufos tried to prove his worth;
The Jazz left him in twin cities turf
A very new and Jazzed up rebirth.
The day the bitches boomed
Chorus
Team leadership put us in our place,
And this fanbase awarded them grace
With plenty time left to start again.
So come on: Fes be big, Dwill be quick!
Hayward be built like a candlestick
But trade exceptions are a salary conscious team's only friend
and as I watched him on the big stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No angel born in hell
Could make that Douf do well.
And as the score climbed high into the night
We had a chance to make things right,
but I saw Satan (Stern) laughing with delight
The day the bitches boomed
(Chorus)
I know a man who coached this team
And I asked him if we could reach this dream
But he just smirked and turned away.
I went down to message board
To complain, and whine and bitch some more
And the guys there said that doufos couldn’t play.
And on the board the children screamed,
The haters lied, and the members dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
For a jynx and the trade was broken.
And the three men I admire most:
O'Connor, Greg, and his father's ghost,
caught Koufos the last train for Superior's coast
The day the Bitches boomed.
(Repeat chorus twice, slower each time)
A Short, short time ago...
I can still remember
How that doufos used to make me cry.
And I knew if he had his chance
That he could make those jazz fans wince
And, maybe, they’d be pissed off for a while.
But May and April made me shiver
With every appearance he couldn't deliver.
Bad news on the baseline;
He could hardly take one more step.
I can’t remember if I cried
When I read about his traded hide,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the bitches boomed.
(CHORUS)
So bye-bye, you greek american guy.
Drove my chevy to the ESA,
Cuz the arena's not dry
And them grown up men were yelling’ screaming, and cryin'
Singin’, "this’ll be the day the bitches boomed
"this’ll be the bitches go boom.
*Cue key and tempo change.
Did you write the book of suck
Cuz you're not having any luck
I guess if coach sloan tells you so
Do you believe in pick’n roll,
Can defense save your mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to run real slow?
Well, I know that you’re afraid of him
But you're 7'1 and he's six foot 10
Even without your shoes
You could paint his *** black and blue
You were a lonely teenage Ohio’ buck
With potential and an *** like a truck,
But I knew we was out of luck
The day the bitches boomed.
(REPEAT CHORUS)
Now for many years we’ve been on our own
Since the grievous loss of Stock and Malone
But that’s not how we used to be.
Our centers used to be tall and mean
They were still slow but at least they played D.
Os-ter-tag played hard with one kidney (had no clue what to rhyme here)
Oh, but while the king was looking down,
KOC stole his free agency crown.
The GM's meeting was adjourned;
And Koufus shall not return.
Jazzfanz thought 'twas a summer of farce
With our team full of missing parts,
WHice O'Connor did dealings in the dark
The day the bitches boomed.
(Repeat Chorus)
Helter skelter in this summer swelter.
The King left Cleveland, in a fallout shelter,
3 Heated Kings and falling fast.
3 stars landed on the beach.
An angry owner called him a leech ,
With Donnie Walsh on the sidelines in a cast.
Now the mountain air was not perfume
With the Jazz undecided on their tune.
But We all got up to dance,
Because we finally got a chance!
`cause when Koufos tried to prove his worth;
The Jazz left him in twin cities turf
A very new and Jazzed up rebirth.
The day the bitches boomed
Chorus
Team leadership put us in our place,
And this fanbase awarded them grace
With plenty time left to start again.
So come on: Fes be big, Dwill be quick!
Hayward be built like a candlestick
But trade exceptions are a salary conscious team's only friend
and as I watched him on the big stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No angel born in hell
Could make that Douf do well.
And as the score climbed high into the night
We had a chance to make things right,
but I saw Satan (Stern) laughing with delight
The day the bitches boomed
(Chorus)
I know a man who coached this team
And I asked him if we could reach this dream
But he just smirked and turned away.
I went down to message board
To complain, and whine and bitch some more
And the guys there said that doufos couldn’t play.
And on the board the children screamed,
The haters lied, and the members dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
For a jynx and the trade was broken.
And the three men I admire most:
O'Connor, Greg, and his father's ghost,
caught Koufos the last train for Superior's coast
The day the Bitches boomed.
(Repeat chorus twice, slower each time)
