Jazz Fusion
Well-Known Member
My apologies to whoever started a thread like this on the original Jazzfanz website. They did a much finer job of it than this poor attempt. Feel free to add or subtract from this bored fan’s scribblings ….
The Jazz Went Golfing Last Year
Many Jazz fans were a bit sad this time last year to see golfers Rudy Gobert and Donovan Mitchell leave the Utah links. Rudy, with his deadly 3-foot and under game, cast an intimidating, yips inducing shadow over many a competitor. Everyone also fondly remembers Mitchell’s many birdies and eagles on the tour, even if fans were perplexed by his shanking shots in the Masters.
Enter one Lauri Markkenen with a refreshingly lethal short game/long game combination. The Finn’s game was often so flawless that it needed no explanation. Not needing an explanation never stopped David Locke who resorted to pseudo-trigonometry to alienate both fans and fellow announcers. Leave it to Craig Bolejack to try to rally the fanbase, even if there is no such thing as skip-shot.
Fan favorite Jordan Clarkson competed nicely whether he was part of a fivesome or sixsome. All threesome jokes are reserved for Herske’s mom. Walker Kessler valiantly filled Gobert’s size 20’s by extending the pivot’s putts out to 8 feet.
And amid a bowl of very vanilla ice cream, Will Hardy and Danny Ainge sat many starting players at the end of the tour to outmaneuver Dallas tank commander-in-chief, Mark Cuban. Other than an unfortunate incident with hipster Isaiah Thomas’ contract, there is little reason to criticize Mr. Ainge. (Somewhere Raul Lopez thanks Dios for a different era).
And soon when Damian Lillard tees up on South Beach, the ghost of Jerry Sloan will be heard muttering m******* f******.
The Jazz Went Golfing Last Year
Many Jazz fans were a bit sad this time last year to see golfers Rudy Gobert and Donovan Mitchell leave the Utah links. Rudy, with his deadly 3-foot and under game, cast an intimidating, yips inducing shadow over many a competitor. Everyone also fondly remembers Mitchell’s many birdies and eagles on the tour, even if fans were perplexed by his shanking shots in the Masters.
Enter one Lauri Markkenen with a refreshingly lethal short game/long game combination. The Finn’s game was often so flawless that it needed no explanation. Not needing an explanation never stopped David Locke who resorted to pseudo-trigonometry to alienate both fans and fellow announcers. Leave it to Craig Bolejack to try to rally the fanbase, even if there is no such thing as skip-shot.
Fan favorite Jordan Clarkson competed nicely whether he was part of a fivesome or sixsome. All threesome jokes are reserved for Herske’s mom. Walker Kessler valiantly filled Gobert’s size 20’s by extending the pivot’s putts out to 8 feet.
And amid a bowl of very vanilla ice cream, Will Hardy and Danny Ainge sat many starting players at the end of the tour to outmaneuver Dallas tank commander-in-chief, Mark Cuban. Other than an unfortunate incident with hipster Isaiah Thomas’ contract, there is little reason to criticize Mr. Ainge. (Somewhere Raul Lopez thanks Dios for a different era).
And soon when Damian Lillard tees up on South Beach, the ghost of Jerry Sloan will be heard muttering m******* f******.