The "N Word"? I thought it was a Tigger shirt.
UB was a good bowler, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors... and bowling, and as a surfer he explored the beaches of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and... up to... Pismo. He was suspended, like so many young men of his generation, he suspended before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at JazzFanz. These young men gave their screen lives. And so would UB. UB, who loved bowling. And so, Unsightly Beefcurtains, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince
If I ever die (I'm hoping they find a cure for that) I want you to write my eulogy.