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RJF

RJF

Well-Known Member
Has anyone on the board started over or diverged from their career after the age of 35? What were your biggest obstacles?

I’ve been involved in, in one way or another, grocery retail/DSD sales since I was 17. It’s sucking the life out of me and I need a change. I’ve a few things in mind(mostly unrelated to my work experience) but was looking for some input as to how those that have made the change went about it.
 
Do you have any connections in the field you want to transition into? My wife is a trained nurse but when she was about 37 she decided she wanted to be an Animal Control Officer. She had already been volunteering at shelters and had friends in animal rescue so she moved right into the field pretty much immediately after she got her license.

I should point out she's always been a second income and now she's not working at all (by her choice) so we never had to worry about covering bills or anything like that while she was transitioning. I don't know how much of a variable that is for you.
 
I have wanted to over the years. Never had the impetus to do it for real. I am, and probably always will be, an aspiring novelist, but it doesn't drive me enough to put in the hours to hone my skills. I write enough that I come across incredibly well in business dealings (email, reports, etc.), and am pretty well-spoken in meetings and presentations, but am not driven enough by writing to do much more than the occasional short story or essay kind of thing. Although I have some great ideas and have several/many unfinished starts and unstarted endings, so to speak.

I considered actually going back to school after I had cancer to become an oncologist. I had dealt with many of them during my illness and thought I could offer something, but having 4 kids, a wife, needing to provide, and knowing the time commitment and cost as well as the lost income over the next 8-12 years, I just couldn't pull the trigger on that.

I don't have any meaningful advice other than, if you can find something you can be passionate about it will help you overcome the obstacles. I do pretty well in my chosen career (logistics/distribution management), but it is definitely NOT my passion. I am never super-thrilled about going to work and I am always happy to cut out a bit early when the work is done. I will never be one of those guys that just jumps out of bed in the morning and has to be pried away from work by repeated phone calls from his wife or whatever.

But even if you can't find a true passion that can pay the bills, if you are miserable and feel like your career is just dragging you down day after day, then you need to either find a new path, or find a way to change the trajectory of your current path. Shift from sales to operations within the same or a similar organization. Consider an ancillary group, like HR. Or work toward a certification that allows you to branch out into different type of sales (pharm or something maybe), if it is just the industry that is bogging you down. I found out that, even though I generally like distribution, I do not enjoy distribution tied directly to manufacturing, such as at a manufacturing site. So I stick to ecomm, B2C, retail, or large scale distribution centers.

No matter what you choose, I wish you luck.
 
Wife was talking today about foregoing college to join a company and learn a trade. Then having the company either pay or assist with college. I guess that's something some of her clients are doing(companies in the construction industry). At least I think that's how she described it.
 
Working in a job you dislike is slavery. Do something you love. If your journey turns out anything like mine it will pay off in ways that exceed your imagination.
 
Joe Bagadonuts said:
Working in a job you dislike is slavery. Do something you love. If your journey turns out anything like mine it will pay off in ways that exceed your imagination.
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It's not easy finding something you love that earns you enough. But I agree 100%. You spend a lot of time at work. Doing something you dislike is a bad idea.
 
I think doing something that you don't hate, that you can take pride in being good at and where you don't absolutely loathe the people you work with is the most realistic goal that 99% of us can achieve.

And personally, I don't want to ruin my passions by turning them into work.

People look at me blankly when I talk about how we should all work 20hrs a week and make the same money we make now and that we could spend the rest of our time doing things that brought us joy, let us follow our passions, but that's the world I want to live in. Not this fantasy that I'll find an employer who provides me with the chance to follow my passion 60hrs a week. Because what actually happens is you live in a world where if you aren't putting in 60hrs a week, with hardly any time or energy left over for anything else, then you're considered a lazy POS. That's the ****ed up world we live in and everyone seems to be playing along like that's the way things ought to be.
 
Bulletproof said:
Not this fantasy that I'll find an employer who provides me with the chance to follow my passion 60hrs a week. Because what actually happens is you live in a world where if you aren't putting in 60hrs a week, with hardly any time or energy left over for anything else, then you're considered a lazy POS. That's the ****ed up world we live in and everyone seems to be playing along like that's the way things ought to be.
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Why do you have to work 60 hours per week (i.e 60 hours in the office)? Is it because:
1. You are popular with your customers so they need your services and there isn't anybody nearby with required skills therefore you are doing your max to earn the money now because in the future the customers might choose another person/company.
2. Why do you not increase the price of the product or service fee?
3. How much of that 60 hours is bureaucratic paperwork (either organised by the boss to keep you busy or related to service or products you sell)?
3b. How much of that 60 hours can you invoice to the customer a la if you work 60 hours then does the customer receive the invoice with 40 hours of service etc.

My wife worked one year in the Estonian branch of very well known company, which is USA based (produces stuff which is not so healthy for humans) although Estonia was under Lithuania and all Baltics were under Poland. Atmosphere was similar: lots of pointless paperwork to keep you busy even after working hours and attitude was something like "if you do not like here, go away". However, at the same time (as much as i have heard), Microsoft Estonia (and also IBM before it sold some of its parts to Lenovo) is considered one of the best employer, with good salaries and attitude - you are doing a job instead having a job. I.e no need to hang in the office behind the desk, if customers are happy.
 
Siro said:
It's not easy finding something you love that earns you enough. But I agree 100%. You spend a lot of time at work. Doing something you dislike is a bad idea.
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My uncle was in HR for Kennecott back when it was the largest private employer in the state. When the company nearly shut down due to falling prices he was miserable having to lay off friends every day. Eventually he took an early retirement and started a new career working to develop the community his family lived in. His happiness after he left his old job was a tangible thing. His entire family became happier. A couple of years later he told me that the layoffs had turned out to be a blessing in disguise for all of the people he had remained in contact with (which were many because he is a very social guy). One welder, for instance, became a high end metal sculptor. Others started their own businesses, some went to school. Starting a new career can be frightening because of the risks, but sometimes the best thing that can happen is for you to be forced to make a change.

Along those lines, I changed wives as a result of my ex having an affair with a guy who I knew pretty well and already hated long before I knew he was a home wrecker. I was devastated by the failure of my first marriage and I'm still saddened by the impact it had on my kids... but man what an upgrade it turned out to be for me. When I was at my lowest point, which was pretty damn low not just because of a terrible divorce (worse than I could have imagined, by far) but much more on top of that including my mom dying of cancer, the company I had been working for going under, breaking my ribs in an accident and then getting a hacking cough which caused me to keep re-breaking them while I suffered alone in my crappy apartment less than a mile away from the beautiful home my ex and her POS lover were living in along with my ex-dog (who I loved and missed but who wasn't allowed in my apartment) and my daughters(who I only saw a fraction of the time I had previously been used to), I was feeling suicidal at times. That's when a friend said to me, "Bro, you lucky dog, something amazing is coming your way!" I asked if he was insane, and he said, "Nope. This stuff tends to even out, and in order for it to even out from where you are right now it's going to have to be incredible. I can't wait to see what it is."

Looking back on everything, I'm blown away by how correct he was. I now have a wife who is a massive upgrade to the one that cheated on me, two amazing businesses, a house that exceeds my wildest dreams, four awesome sons (didn't used to have any) and more. I completely understand why change is scary, but there is usually a silver lining... sometimes even a diamond one.
 
I switched careers after age 45, but it wasn't intentional and it certainly hasn't been profitable. So I wouldn't follow my example.

I was a legal secretary at some of the biggest firms in Salt Lake City for 25 years and made a decent living. Due to health issues, I was unable to continue to do that job. I took a data entry job eventually, and that transitioned into an accounting position. I now work in accounting for the State of Utah, and I love the work. But I get paid about half what I used to make. I wish I would have gotten an accounting degree when I went to college, and I wish I could do so now.

My brother is 46 and has always worked in sales. He decided he was sick of working for commissions and wanted to do something else when he was laid off a couple of years ago, but because he only has an associate's degree, he was unable to find anything else. After being unemployed for nine months, he gave in and got another sales job. It's a tough market right now with the low unemployment rates.

That being said, I think you should absolutely pursue a change. Life is too short to be unhappy. It works out well for a lot of people - why not you?

This article has some good suggestions to beginning:

https://www.themuse.com/advice/8-steps-to-an-utterly-successful-career-change

Good luck! I hope you can find exactly what you are looking for in a new career and life.
 
JazzGal said:
I switched careers after age 45, but it wasn't intentional and it certainly hasn't been profitable. So I wouldn't follow my example.

I was a legal secretary at some of the biggest firms in Salt Lake City for 25 years and made a decent living. Due to health issues, I was unable to continue to do that job. I took a data entry job eventually, and that transitioned into an accounting position. I now work in accounting for the State of Utah, and I love the work. But I get paid about half what I used to make. I wish I would have gotten an accounting degree when I went to college, and I wish I could do so now.

My brother is 46 and has always worked in sales. He decided he was sick of working for commissions and wanted to do something else when he was laid off a couple of years ago, but because he only has an associate's degree, he was unable to find anything else. After being unemployed for nine months, he gave in and got another sales job. It's a tough market right now with the low unemployment rates.

That being said, I think you should absolutely pursue a change. Life is too short to be unhappy. It works out well for a lot of people - why not you?

This article has some good suggestions to beginning:

https://www.themuse.com/advice/8-steps-to-an-utterly-successful-career-change

Good luck! I hope you can find exactly what you are looking for in a new career and life.
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Always easier to find a job when you have a job. I am pursuing a change right now, but my current job is stable and takes care of me and my family, so I am not under pressure to jump at the first opportunity and can pick and choose. I have already turned down 2 (plumbing supply distribution director and a distribution general manager for a start-up fashion brand).

As far as the passion discussion from above, to me that means you do something that you can truly enjoy that also helps to pay the bills. It doesn't mean that there is some mystical cosmic connection to your job that transcends your personal life, nor that you turn your favorite hobby into a 9 to 5 grind, but rather a job that you like enough to generate passion around doing the job. That is something to look for.

But, as @Siro and others have pointed out, most of us will see co-workers far more than our own family in our lifetimes, and having a job that you like reasonably well is important, and in my experience, far more important than money. I mentioned disliking distribution as part of manufacturing. Well I had a job in that realm that paid really well, it was my first 6-figure job. And I hated it. But I couldn't find anything that fit what I wanted and maintain the salary I had. I eventually took a job with smaller scope that paid less (nearly $15k less) and that turned my career path a bit. Now I am well beyond the job that I hated, both monetarily and stature/position, and am reasonably happy with the current point in my career. I can live with that. But to put lots of hours into something you hate, or feel is dragging you down, that is one of the definitions of hell I am sure.
 
I am currently looking to change employers. Same basic field but I hope to work somewhere that is doing something that's more interesting than what I'm doing now. Have an interview at a place that seems really awesome next Friday. They don't list their pay but as far as I can tell based on their qualification requirements and linkedin profile of someone else there at that position, based on their previous employer, I think they'll pay at least what I'm being paid now.

My biggest reason for wanting to change is last-minute forced overtime, forced overtime on a shift completely different than my normal shift (I work 2pm top 10:30pm M-F and can be forced to work Saturday 6pm to Sunday morning at 6am, I'm not into that **** at all), and the fact that they are talking about moving us back to 12hr shifts and if that happens I'll be back on a night shift.
 
I don't particularly care much for my job and used to hate it at times, but after a long while I got used to the aspects I didnt like and plan on being here until I retire. I can't think of a good paying job that I would love, especially after time ruins fun by turning it into work. They all suck. So find something that pays well & that you can stand. Something like delivering packages for UPS. Not too stressful, not a ton of advanced training or knowledge, sometimes boring and repetitive, but not too bad either. Or bust your balls to become a union line worker for the power company at $45/hr.
 
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Joe Bagadonuts said:
My uncle was in HR for Kennecott back when it was the largest private employer in the state. When the company nearly shut down due to falling prices he was miserable having to lay off friends every day. Eventually he took an early retirement and started a new career working to develop the community his family lived in. His happiness after he left his old job was a tangible thing. His entire family became happier. A couple of years later he told me that the layoffs had turned out to be a blessing in disguise for all of the people he had remained in contact with (which were many because he is a very social guy). One welder, for instance, became a high end metal sculptor. Others started their own businesses, some went to school. Starting a new career can be frightening because of the risks, but sometimes the best thing that can happen is for you to be forced to make a change.

Along those lines, I changed wives as a result of my ex having an affair with a guy who I knew pretty well and already hated long before I knew he was a home wrecker. I was devastated by the failure of my first marriage and I'm still saddened by the impact it had on my kids... but man what an upgrade it turned out to be for me. When I was at my lowest point, which was pretty damn low not just because of a terrible divorce (worse than I could have imagined, by far) but much more on top of that including my mom dying of cancer, the company I had been working for going under, breaking my ribs in an accident and then getting a hacking cough which caused me to keep re-breaking them while I suffered alone in my crappy apartment less than a mile away from the beautiful home my ex and her POS lover were living in along with my ex-dog (who I loved and missed but who wasn't allowed in my apartment) and my daughters(who I only saw a fraction of the time I had previously been used to), I was feeling suicidal at times. That's when a friend said to me, "Bro, you lucky dog, something amazing is coming your way!" I asked if he was insane, and he said, "Nope. This stuff tends to even out, and in order for it to even out from where you are right now it's going to have to be incredible. I can't wait to see what it is."

Looking back on everything, I'm blown away by how correct he was. I now have a wife who is a massive upgrade to the one that cheated on me, two amazing businesses, a house that exceeds my wildest dreams, four awesome sons (didn't used to have any) and more. I completely understand why change is scary, but there is usually a silver lining... sometimes even a diamond one.
Click to expand...
Whoah, you da man.
 
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