OK, I laughed at the Big Lebowski part.
A brush with destiny -- Celtics at Jazz 3/28/2018 7:30 pm MST
- Thread starter infection
- Start date
Et tu Brute
Well-Known Member
Wow dude. That is crazy good. How long did that take?
I know it's a tiny detail, but I forgot Jae was underneath GH when he broke his leg... Surreal - all of it.
I know it's a tiny detail, but I forgot Jae was underneath GH when he broke his leg... Surreal - all of it.
D
Deleted member 848
Guest
This is purely and simply the best Jazz game thread I have ever seen in my years on this forum-- going right back to mid 2010.
Even without a rally churro?
Witty Username
Well-Known Member
imgur.com/a/ZpSSC
I made an album of it (giving credit to infection)
Someone get it on Reddit!
I made an album of it (giving credit to infection)
Someone get it on Reddit!
D
Deleted member 848
Guest
pls stand by
Game thread boosted through our Facebook and Twitter accounts. Thank you @infection - priceless.
D
Deleted member 848
Guest
GRAB YOUR TICKET
COME GET WITH IT
TRANS CHURRO EXPRESS
TRANS CHURRO EXPRESS
COME GET WITH IT
TRANS CHURRO EXPRESS
TRANS CHURRO EXPRESS
SoUjazzfan
Well-Known Member
Wow.... just wow! When we get into the playoffs we will need to start a gofundme page for infection to write up game threads. He will have to quit his job to put in the time to top the last few. Great Job, the Jazz had better not dare to lose after this thread!
The Jazz Wonderbra
Well-Known Member
Infection... bravo! You did miss a few critical parts of the story. In all respect to everything you have done I hope you will all allow me to add a few other details that maybe didn't fit in this historic account. Without further adieu...
June 7, 1974
The New Orleans Jazz were admitted as an expansion franchise into the National Basketball Association (NBA). The first season ticket holder call came in from a certain B. Samedi who specifically requested a front row seat directly under the rim. Teams would learn to loath playing the New Orleans Jazz for one particular reason... Mr. Samedi. He sat under the hoop and would force players to miss free throws due to his incantations and voodoo mind games.
1979 Date unkown
Danny Ainge took a weekend trip with his friends. Danny found himself in a seedy part of the FRENCH Quarters in New Orleans where even he hated himself:
Drunk, belligerent, and covered with beads from head to toe from flashing those clover shaped nips, he headed out back and began peeing on a car with a New Orean's Jazz bumper sticker on it. A tall, mysterious black man with a fine laugh steps out of the car. Danny says, 'I'll piss on your car again... someday I'll be a big shot in basketball and I will steal hearts away from people like you and not think anything of it.' Baron stairs into the soul of Mr. Ainge and recognizes it as the soul of a sell out. The man smiles and introduces himself as Mr. Baron and offers that they head out on a magical evening to meet some of his 'friends on the other side'... of town where the real action is. The scene actually inspired a the Bond scene:
and later a disney song:
Earlier that day, the news broke that the New Orlean's Jazz would become the Utah Jazz. So the next morning a call came in to 355-DUNK from Jaws and his "athothiate" Mike Tyson:
TYSON and JAWS... "We reprethent a client who neeth front row theaths to the Uthaw Jath for ETERNITY..."
Larry H... "Can do... But they'll cost ya"
JAWTH... "Name your prithe, Mithter Larry"
Larry H to Gail - 'Honey... we just got one of the 3 Nephites as a theathon... I mean as a SEASON ticket holder!'
Mr. Samedi changes his appearance and turns into none other than 'THE DOCTOR' and brings his voodoo toys with him including a burnt chicken offering and a free throw voodoo doll.
October 3, 1991
Corey Crowder (friend and follower of a Voodoo Cult in New Orleans) fulfills his NBA dream when he signs with the Utah Jazz as an undrafted player. He is so grateful for the chance to play with Jazz legends Karl Malone and John Stockton and to Jerry Sloan for giving an undrafted rookie a chance to make the squad. In an act of gratitude Corey Crowder calls out to 'The Doctor' for a voodoo blessing on a pair of his sneakers. After a seance and some spicy cajun incantations the Doctor 'aka Baron Samedi' and Corey Crowder buried the high tops with some other goodies inside of a secret vault in the house that Larry built behind a logo of the New Orleans Jazz. There is a reason that Baron is always laughing...
https://tenor.com/view/baron-samedi-laugh-scary-voodoo-gif-10354201
August 22, 2017
Jae Crowder, the heart and soul of the Boston Celtics, gets a call from Danny Ainge (and former Professional Chotchski).
Danny Ainge: 'Hey Bae... it's Bae right? Gae?"
Anyways... How's your mom doing (sinister laugh)"
Jae Crowder: "My name is Jae, not Bae or Gay... and Sir, she's not doing very..."
INTERRUPTED "Yeah, whatevs. Don't care. Hey, Gae... Just wanted to say. Thanks for playing with all your heart! We bought that shizzzz and sold it to our fans for some serious Coin. But we are going to fetch a better price by selling your pile to Cleveland." "Just FYI, we got KYRIE for you and that midget with the bum hip, Thomas whats-his-face". "In fact, we plan to sell everyone on the team except 4 players".
5 minutes later, Jae Crowder's mother passed away. Ainge was at lunch with GAEward during the funeral.
https://www.cbssports.com/nba/news/...ter-he-told-her-hed-been-traded-to-cleveland/
Later that day...
An anonymous letter is dropped off on Dennis Lindsey's desk informing him to unearth a cement block underneath the visitor team's locker room Urinal cake. The letter is initialed "Dr. B.S." Under the urinal they find a time capsule with a New Orlean's Jazz logo, a pair of Corey Crowder's sneakers, and a vile of fermented bottle that looked like piss labeled 'Serve to Danny Ainge'.
https://www.celticsblog.com/2016/2/19/11076438/jazz-gift-jae-crowder-his-dads-20-year-old-shoes
CONTINUED BELOW...
June 7, 1974
The New Orleans Jazz were admitted as an expansion franchise into the National Basketball Association (NBA). The first season ticket holder call came in from a certain B. Samedi who specifically requested a front row seat directly under the rim. Teams would learn to loath playing the New Orleans Jazz for one particular reason... Mr. Samedi. He sat under the hoop and would force players to miss free throws due to his incantations and voodoo mind games.
1979 Date unkown
Danny Ainge took a weekend trip with his friends. Danny found himself in a seedy part of the FRENCH Quarters in New Orleans where even he hated himself:
Drunk, belligerent, and covered with beads from head to toe from flashing those clover shaped nips, he headed out back and began peeing on a car with a New Orean's Jazz bumper sticker on it. A tall, mysterious black man with a fine laugh steps out of the car. Danny says, 'I'll piss on your car again... someday I'll be a big shot in basketball and I will steal hearts away from people like you and not think anything of it.' Baron stairs into the soul of Mr. Ainge and recognizes it as the soul of a sell out. The man smiles and introduces himself as Mr. Baron and offers that they head out on a magical evening to meet some of his 'friends on the other side'... of town where the real action is. The scene actually inspired a the Bond scene:
and later a disney song:
Earlier that day, the news broke that the New Orlean's Jazz would become the Utah Jazz. So the next morning a call came in to 355-DUNK from Jaws and his "athothiate" Mike Tyson:
TYSON and JAWS... "We reprethent a client who neeth front row theaths to the Uthaw Jath for ETERNITY..."
Larry H... "Can do... But they'll cost ya"
JAWTH... "Name your prithe, Mithter Larry"
Larry H to Gail - 'Honey... we just got one of the 3 Nephites as a theathon... I mean as a SEASON ticket holder!'
Mr. Samedi changes his appearance and turns into none other than 'THE DOCTOR' and brings his voodoo toys with him including a burnt chicken offering and a free throw voodoo doll.
October 3, 1991
Corey Crowder (friend and follower of a Voodoo Cult in New Orleans) fulfills his NBA dream when he signs with the Utah Jazz as an undrafted player. He is so grateful for the chance to play with Jazz legends Karl Malone and John Stockton and to Jerry Sloan for giving an undrafted rookie a chance to make the squad. In an act of gratitude Corey Crowder calls out to 'The Doctor' for a voodoo blessing on a pair of his sneakers. After a seance and some spicy cajun incantations the Doctor 'aka Baron Samedi' and Corey Crowder buried the high tops with some other goodies inside of a secret vault in the house that Larry built behind a logo of the New Orleans Jazz. There is a reason that Baron is always laughing...
https://tenor.com/view/baron-samedi-laugh-scary-voodoo-gif-10354201
August 22, 2017
Jae Crowder, the heart and soul of the Boston Celtics, gets a call from Danny Ainge (and former Professional Chotchski).
Danny Ainge: 'Hey Bae... it's Bae right? Gae?"
Anyways... How's your mom doing (sinister laugh)"
Jae Crowder: "My name is Jae, not Bae or Gay... and Sir, she's not doing very..."
INTERRUPTED "Yeah, whatevs. Don't care. Hey, Gae... Just wanted to say. Thanks for playing with all your heart! We bought that shizzzz and sold it to our fans for some serious Coin. But we are going to fetch a better price by selling your pile to Cleveland." "Just FYI, we got KYRIE for you and that midget with the bum hip, Thomas whats-his-face". "In fact, we plan to sell everyone on the team except 4 players".
5 minutes later, Jae Crowder's mother passed away. Ainge was at lunch with GAEward during the funeral.
https://www.cbssports.com/nba/news/...ter-he-told-her-hed-been-traded-to-cleveland/
Later that day...
An anonymous letter is dropped off on Dennis Lindsey's desk informing him to unearth a cement block underneath the visitor team's locker room Urinal cake. The letter is initialed "Dr. B.S." Under the urinal they find a time capsule with a New Orlean's Jazz logo, a pair of Corey Crowder's sneakers, and a vile of fermented bottle that looked like piss labeled 'Serve to Danny Ainge'.
https://www.celticsblog.com/2016/2/19/11076438/jazz-gift-jae-crowder-his-dads-20-year-old-shoes
CONTINUED BELOW...
Last edited:
Engorged On Unborn Gore
Well-Known Member
Good God, this is gold.
The Jazz Wonderbra
Well-Known Member
Summer League 2017
Dennis Lindsey and Danny Ainge discuss a sign and trade option with Jae Crowder. Dennis passes Danny to a glass of fine Southern imported 'B.S. Brand Aged Whiskey' poured out of a special vile. Danny loved it and asked for more. 'We can surely invite you to some more Texas hospitality some other time' retorts Dennis. During a tour of the new facility Danny proceeded to piss on the Jazz center court logo as a familiar laugh from the past echoes in the halls of the house that Larry built.
October 18, 2017
Opening night. Jae Crowder decides to dedicate this game to his Father and his Mother. He looks at the pair of his father's shoes that Dennis gave him and decides to take them out from their protected glass case. He ties the knots double tight and can feel the power flowing through the laces. He decides he will spurn Gordon Hayward for taking his position and all of those Boston baked bean sell out fans that cheered for Gordon instead of him. This night feels bigger than him. It's about his career, his heart, his faith, and his family. He plays hard for 4 minutes when all of the sudden it's like his shoes take on a mind of their own. There is something magical in their movement. Gordon Goes up for a lob and the SHOES turn a mystical shade of Purple and Green and position his body directly under Gordon as Lebron hits him high.
PAY ATTENTION TO THOSE SHOES...
SNAP...
The DOCTOR was one row in front of Danny Ainge during the match. As the crack echoed through the stadium and silence filled the crowd, the Doctor looked straight at Danny Ainge... right through his soul and revealed himself as none other than Baron Samedi, voodoo witch doctor, and New Orleans Jazz super fan. BARON SAMEDI began to laugh as he forced another glass of aged "B.S. Brand Pwhisskey' down Danny's throat and he was heard to say: "LIVE AND LET DIE!"
Rumors:
There have been rumors about some mysterious, luciferian conspiracy between Crowder, Hayward, and Lebron as if Jae did it on purpose.
When asked about injuries right after the moment you can almost see the Voodoo Magic still working in his eyes...
http://www.nbcsports.com/boston/video/jae-crowder-injury-have-wait-and-see-what-doctors-say
But we all know he was innocent and the REAL story dates back. WAY Back to a night on the town in Ol' Norleans. Which should remind Danny not to bring his Shizzzz back to the French Quarters...
Tonight:
The Doctor will be in BEST SPIRITS. Of that I can assure you. GO JAZZ!!!
Dennis Lindsey and Danny Ainge discuss a sign and trade option with Jae Crowder. Dennis passes Danny to a glass of fine Southern imported 'B.S. Brand Aged Whiskey' poured out of a special vile. Danny loved it and asked for more. 'We can surely invite you to some more Texas hospitality some other time' retorts Dennis. During a tour of the new facility Danny proceeded to piss on the Jazz center court logo as a familiar laugh from the past echoes in the halls of the house that Larry built.
October 18, 2017
Opening night. Jae Crowder decides to dedicate this game to his Father and his Mother. He looks at the pair of his father's shoes that Dennis gave him and decides to take them out from their protected glass case. He ties the knots double tight and can feel the power flowing through the laces. He decides he will spurn Gordon Hayward for taking his position and all of those Boston baked bean sell out fans that cheered for Gordon instead of him. This night feels bigger than him. It's about his career, his heart, his faith, and his family. He plays hard for 4 minutes when all of the sudden it's like his shoes take on a mind of their own. There is something magical in their movement. Gordon Goes up for a lob and the SHOES turn a mystical shade of Purple and Green and position his body directly under Gordon as Lebron hits him high.
PAY ATTENTION TO THOSE SHOES...
SNAP...
The DOCTOR was one row in front of Danny Ainge during the match. As the crack echoed through the stadium and silence filled the crowd, the Doctor looked straight at Danny Ainge... right through his soul and revealed himself as none other than Baron Samedi, voodoo witch doctor, and New Orleans Jazz super fan. BARON SAMEDI began to laugh as he forced another glass of aged "B.S. Brand Pwhisskey' down Danny's throat and he was heard to say: "LIVE AND LET DIE!"
Rumors:
There have been rumors about some mysterious, luciferian conspiracy between Crowder, Hayward, and Lebron as if Jae did it on purpose.
When asked about injuries right after the moment you can almost see the Voodoo Magic still working in his eyes...
http://www.nbcsports.com/boston/video/jae-crowder-injury-have-wait-and-see-what-doctors-say
But we all know he was innocent and the REAL story dates back. WAY Back to a night on the town in Ol' Norleans. Which should remind Danny not to bring his Shizzzz back to the French Quarters...
Tonight:
The Doctor will be in BEST SPIRITS. Of that I can assure you. GO JAZZ!!!
Last edited:
Mission Accomplished
Well-Known Member
Infection - I wish you would have given me a little love for the antiHayward fan club that I created that no one joined.
That being said this year's squad is > last year's squad!
Can I get an amen?
Sent from my SM-N950U using JazzFanz mobile app
That being said this year's squad is > last year's squad!
Can I get an amen?
Sent from my SM-N950U using JazzFanz mobile app
David Stern
Well-Known Member
Dear Ainge, Hayward and Boston:
**** you!!!
**** you!!!
416Klawzz
Well-Known Member
Bitch *** Haywhore probably ain't gonna be in attendance tonight. He is scared Jae, Rudy and Dono gonna bust his coward ***
Sent from my ASUS_Z01BDC using JazzFanz mobile app
Sent from my ASUS_Z01BDC using JazzFanz mobile app
416Klawzz
Well-Known Member
And Coach Brad Stevens f him too