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The Trout Man Commeth...

Yes.

God doesn't make bad puppies or people that can't laugh.

This.

Oh, unless chinless people are unable to laugh physically. If that was true, would that be considered a weapon? What would we call this weapon?
 
Ya, that wasn't directed at you, I promise. It was mostly directed at my three brothers who no-showed or canceled five minutes before we were supposed to start.
Yeah, I know. I promise. How's the ladder?
 
We need an update fishass. How are the numbers coming in?
 
What's funny is that I have almost the identical chin as that 'girl' -- I don't know if that's why you posted the picture, but it's pretty spot-on. I still laughed.

As for results, I haven't found any yet.
 
First round of reporting:

Council, District 3

Dave Ballou 130

Jerry W. Rechtenbach (i) 241

I'm slightly bummed, I thought it would be closer than this.
 
You gotta get your feet wet somewhere. You will do better in your next run.
 
64% reporting:

DAVE BALLOU 230 36.51%
JERRY W. RECHTENBACH 397 63.02%
Write-in Votes 3 0.48%

It's about time to make the dreaded phone call to congratulate... Blech.
 
64% reporting:

DAVE BALLOU 230 36.51%
JERRY W. RECHTENBACH 397 63.02%
Write-in Votes 3 0.48%

It's about time to make the dreaded phone call to congratulate... Blech.

Too bad, but I agree, you'll do better next time.
 
The fact that you even ran is cool in my book. Next time, just remember to throw in some 9/11 was an inside job references and put a couple pyramids on your signs or something. People love that ****.
 
Well, unofficially it's over. Phew.

DAVE BALLOU 230 36.51%
JERRY W. RECHTENBACH 397 63.02%

To say the least, I'm disappointed, but I guess I can feel good that a third of the city thinks I'm a bad ***.

A HUGE thank you to everyone who helped out:

Gameface
Salty
YB
SimpleTool
SalmonKEKScerpioNJBum
Sir Tink's A Lot
Moe
JazzFanatic
(someone I probably forgot your name -- please don't feel bad)

And to everyone who gave me positive vibes and support via this website and via email/texts -- I love you guys. I really mean it, you're all solid.
 
Hold the phone... I'm not as big a loser as I thought.

DAVE BALLOU 304 39.28%
JERRY W. RECHTENBACH 466 60.21%

That's still pretty crappy, and worse than I thought I'd do, but it's better than it was.

What a travesty that only 14.7% of the registered voters turned out for this election. What a failure on our parts.
 
Really a good showing against the incumbent. You got this next time. Plus I intend to come forward about Rechtenback sexually harrassing me 15 years ago. I liked it, but I just want to help him by giving him a chance to come clean in public you know.
 
Sorry you didn't win, Dave - wish I could have voted. Nice showing though, and props for the attempt. Are you going to try again in the future? I admire anyone with the guts to want to get involved in government.

Voter turnout was pretty terrible here - I voted at noon and was the 6th person in the 3 districts at my location. We get the government we deserve.

On a happy note, however, my drunk wife-beating law-breaking neighbor did not win a city council seat tonight. Thank you God.

Edit: Just reading up and realized that it never crossed my pea-picking mind to donate to your campaign. I suck as a friend. SORRY!
 
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