cheating...

[Bronco70]

Monogamy and commitment are different things entirely.

On their own separate merits, I don't disagree, but if you are speaking within the context of a romantic relationship, they are pretty much the same thing. You are either committed to that person or you are not. That doesn't mean there has to be commitment for the relationship to exist. You can have an open relationship based on love and respect, as long as both parties agree. But that isn't commitment.

Whether you like it or not, we (as a society) have developed certain social mores. One of those is the expectation of fidelity within a serious romantic relationship. Sorry, it may be contrary to biology, but that's the way it is. But nobody is bound by this. Millions of people get around this by not committing themselves to one other person. If you can't be monogamous, fine. But you owe it to your partner to be honest. Maybe that spells the end of the relationship, but IMO, it's better than having to be deceitful for the duration.

 

[kwb]

I only take exception to the bolded part because the cheating happened when they were apart after both going to different colleges. I don't think there is something mentally wrong with someone who is attracted to someone else in their social circle and it gets physical. Especially when were talking about people who are 19 or early 20s. Her official boyfriend is only around between semesters and maybe during holidays. That's one of the problems I have with long distance relationships, especially long term ones, especially where the people involved are young, attractive and socially active. Live a little. I think binding yourself to a monogamous relationship where you're only together a couple times a year is unreasonable. That's not monogamous, that's abstinence.

Understood. I was speaking more along the lines of more mature couples or even married couples.

 

[UGLI baby]

Do you guys think it's cheating if it's a teacher and student?

 

[The Midnight]

Do you guys think it's cheating if it's a teacher and student?

There's another thread that deals with that. You're in the wrong thread. (I know it may be your intention, but it's still the wrong thread).

 

[UGLI baby]

There's another thread that deals with that. You're in the wrong thread. (I know it may be your intention, but it's still the wrong thread).

Dang bro, was the neg really necessary??

 

[Gameface]

Dang bro, was the neg really necessary??

Rep war?

There's another thread that deals with that. You're in the wrong thread. (I know it may be your intention, but it's still in the wrong thread).

 

[UGLI baby]

I've never felt so lost.

 

[Gameface]

I've never felt so lost.

I've been there. Heavy drinking and a self-ban did the trick for me. YMMV

 

[UGLI baby]

I've been there. Heavy drinking and a self-ban did the trick for me. YMMV

What does YMMV mean? Saw that for the first time like 20 min ago and now a 2nd time. Universe trying to tell me something?

 

[UGLI baby]

Your Mileage May Vary

I is disappoint.

 

[Scat]

Knowing that it was a one night stand based on poor judgement or raging hormones would be better than knowing she carried on with them for several weeks or months on numerous occasions. The first is just physical. The second is emotional and has greater ramifications.

not necessarily true at all - why should raging hormones have to stop raging after just one time? Sometimes the hormones can rage for months without it ever becoming emotional, don't you think? Sometimes they'll rage even more after the first time or two, but it never really becomes anything more than that.

I agree. If I was with a woman who just happened to lose her inhibitions and had sex with dudes as a spur of the moment thing I'd be pretty concerned. I don't think it'd hurt as bad as thinking you were in a committed relationship only to find out your partner had a long term thing going on with someone else, but it would still make for a bad relationship and difficulty building trust in my opinion.

OK, for clarification, I meant a one time fling due to raging hormones. If she's doing it every weekend, to hell with her raging hormones... she's just a raging "whore who moans".

 

[moevillini]

OK, for clarification, I meant a one time fling due to raging hormones. If she's doing it every weekend, to hell with her raging hormones... she's just a raging "whore who moans".

just curious - what's the male equivalent of a "whore who moans"?

 

[Scat]

just curious - what's the male equivalent of a "whore who moans"?

A "man whore who moans"?

 

[The Midnight]

Dang bro, was the neg really necessary??

Please tell the truth. There's no need for this.

 

[One Brow]

Not when you are married.

Even married people wind up working late with colleagues, sometimes.

Regardless, that doesn't really apply to the OP.

 

[One Brow]

But that isn't commitment.

Whether you like it or not, we (as a society) have developed certain social mores.

So, for you, a romantic relationship is not just between the two people, but also requires input from the society around them?