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The costs of gay marriage

How about this, because you have been accusing people of making racist, bigoted, or misogynistic actions, recap for me your whole list and we will go from there

Any action that makes a distinction based on race or has a differential effect based on race, which distinction/differential has no function or practical purpose, is racist. Any action that makes a distinction based on gender or has a differential effect based on gender, which distinction/differential has no function or practical purpose, is sexist.

Your turn.
 
Any action that makes a distinction based on race or has a differential effect based on race, which distinction/differential has no function or practical purpose, is racist. Any action that makes a distinction based on gender or has a differential effect based on gender, which distinction/differential has no function or practical purpose, is sexist.


Your turn.

OK. Any action taken based on a false premise is stupid.

man, our language used to be so clear before intellectuals invented a lot of stupid words. Thinking it was their privilege to reshape mankind.
 
Any action that makes a distinction based on race or has a differential effect based on race, which distinction/differential has no function or practical purpose, is racist. Any action that makes a distinction based on gender or has a differential effect based on gender, which distinction/differential has no function or practical purpose, is sexist.

Your turn.

Specifics please. Why is Colton a bigot? Whatever it is you want to call me, go ahead... and explain why it is.

Please do so as clearly as you can with the recognition that words should be used to enhance understanding, not hide it... and spare me the "What... that's exactly what I was doing..." act.
 
Half? You're being far too generous. More like a thousandth, if that. It's one study in one city over one summer. Raqcism occurs in every city, every season, every year.

You made an argument, and as backup for your argument you gave me one link. You are correct in that it is a much smaller part of the picture and a reasonable person would understand that. Also your point makes my point stronger, and your claim that racism occurs in every city, every season, every year is just a claim. Links? As far as you have shown, a few instances of racism happened in New York one year.

Team 2 had the criminal record thrown in. Team 1 did not. Their data was complied separately.

I understand this, and as far as I'm concerned does not change anything in what I stated, and adds nothing to the point.

They never use data from all 6 teams, except for those specific numbers of 13 and 1407. Every graph present the results of an individual team. the other teams results were expected to be coveThat might have been clearer to you had you read the first footnote.

They do use data from the other teams. Specifically when they talk about when candidates are pushed down or up for different jobs than what they applied for it uses data from the other teams which muddies the water. Either use all of the data all the time, or some of the data some of the time, not back and forth.

Actually, I said anecdotes do not combine to make data. Your friends struggling to find jobs is not data. The anecdotes in this study are not data, but this study also has data.

So you will discount my life studies as worthless, but will give credence to a pretend job searcher because it's part of a study, or because it fits your needs better?

Story on starting on page 3: race of another applicant mentioned, but not hiring manager (but implied)
Story on starting on page 4: race of hiring manager not mentioned (but race of person to train was)
Story on starting on page 7: race of hiring manager not mentioned
Story on starting on page 8: race of hiring manager mentioned indirectly, by reference to the the homogenity of the the enitre mangement staff, but not directly

Again, it's clear why you think other peole read what they want to see into things. It's projection. Nice try, race of those hiring is mentioned in the report. Why mention it at all if it's not important? Either way I think the report is lacking some important elements to get a better overall picture of what's going on. To be clear, I do think discrimination does happen. Also to be clear, I don't think it is as huge as you make it out to be. Could it be you are the one projecting? Again, nice try Freud copycat.



Why? Be precise.
Because my friend, then you could see how much of a two way street these racial tendencies are. You just might see that black hiring managers will tend to be more comfortable with the black applicants and hire them more often than an applicant of another race all things being equal. I could go into more detail, but that should be enough to give a normal person an understanding of what I mean. Let me know if you need more filler words or something.


For that too happen, about one third of all the hiring managers would have had to be black, to account for blacks being hired at half the rate on a preferential basis. Based on demographic data in management, do you have any idea how stupid that sounds?
*to
Yes, when you say something stupid, it sounds stupid, and I've "talked" with you a lot lately. I completely understand how your logical jumps sound stupid.
Let me explain it to you as I would to any rational circle thinking adult.
" Okay Biff, now if every single black hiring manager gave the black applicants a call back that would only require from the two teams for there to be 23 out of over 500 hiring managers to be black" I don't know where you did your math, but the black applicants only got 23 positive responses which would be nowhere near half or whatever the crap you were saying. I'm pretty sure all of the positive responses were not from black hiring managers, so that number could be even lower.
So you completely did not get what my point was, and I have no idea what you were trying to say there... so we are on the same page right?



The study accounted for that, remember?
In a controlled environment. What happens when they get out there in live situations? Did these applicants train with the Marines for years so they would act exactly the same way in every type of situation they would encounter? Does even every single Marine act exactly the same in every scenario they encounter? Seriously, do you live in a box? Are you a character from a book that you cannot understand things like this?



You're obviously grasping at straws, looking for any reason you can thibnk of to discredit this study.
I don't need to grasp at straws to see the limitations of the study. It is a nice little study and is good in plenty of ways, just is very limited in what it can tell you. I don't need to discredit it at all, just pointing out how limited it is when you are trying to use it as your main backup as to why you think the way you think.



Considering you can't even present the content of the paper with any degree of accuracy, your accusation rings hollow.

That's rich. Give me moar.

I think testers have been on more than one team.
Interesting, I could see that as possible. Makes sense.



I wasn't aware that decades of research could be fairly characterized as a "bandwagon", and I have never treated this study as more than one among many, and the product of human flaws. I don't need a Scripture in my life, and it I didn't, it wouldn't be a study.

I'm pretty sure it only took them about a year, if that.

However, you do need one, don't you?

Yes, I desire the word of God in my life.



I've been in the whole picture for long time now. Do you really think this study is an anomoly of some sort?

Why don't you link me the rest of the studies and I'll get back to you. Obviously the big picture I see is a little more positive than the one you paint for me.



No, only the realization that humans are not telepathic. They can't read good intentions in your mind, nor mine. So, only your actions determine how you get perceived. It's obvious to anyone who doesn't bury their head in ther sand.

So anyone who sees those same actions and yet does not perceive them the same way you do, must have their head buried in the sand? Genius!

Self control leads to a change in action, and so can self-awareness. You can be too comfortable in your own skin, if it mean you act like a jerk to others.
And the super sensitive think everyone is a jerk and out to get them. That perception doesn't make them right, because they perceive it that way does not mean people actually are out to get them, or that everyone are jerks.


AKA The Golden Rule.
Not quite. That would be do unto others what you would have them do unto you. Not really do whatever others want you to do so you don't offend them.



I was unaware that being considerate was just a show for you. I have heretofore thought that being considerate was a goal of yours.
Oh, I was translating what you were saying. It seems to me you are all about perceptions, and that everyone around you should determine who and what you are instead of you being who and what you are and dealing with those around you in the best way possible.



Exactly. If you say my words are hurtful to you, than I need to accept that they are, even if I don't mean any hurt by them. It's my responsibility to weigh that injury caused and make sure I do as little as possible. I'm honestly surprised if you don't agree.

Meh. Sometimes I feel like you are trying to take my Vizzini gig and show people your dizzying intellect and reason circles around them.
It offends me, I am the fake Vizzini, not you.


Until you name the hypocrisy, the action I recommend for you but do not attempt myself, the stand I set out for you but ignore myself, your accusation of hypocrisy is itself a word game.

As to the last line... I am definitely too lazy to go through and read your posts again to point out in another endless circle what I see as your hypocrisy in what you have said only to have you act confused like you don't get it. Let me just change positions with you for a sec, because it's easier.

What? I'm not sure what you mean? Are you accepting that you are a hypocrite? Oh, ok. Good. Are we done here now. Alright, see you later. Have a good one.
 
OK, well if we ever get the issue of gay marriage figured out, maybe we can move on to this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-xfaiAftJI

Night and Day...


such a great song!
 
No Reply to Roacho's posts?

C'mon fellas, don't act like it never existed.




I hear ya. I got yo back. What we all need to do is take a step back, understand, and consequently address the concerns of the opposing view. So lets go back to the article:




There are several question I have about the term "fundamental institution" and it's application of the term marriage. So the question ends up, where did marriage begin? Where does "marriage" fit into society? Seems like the earliest beginnings are found as a way to alleviate the male inadequacy of wondering whether a child is his. This isn't a problem anymore, as genetic paternity tests will tell us all we need to know.

Another possibility is possession.. oft enough through recorded history, a man binds a woman in marriage, and that woman is his, and only his. To do with as he pleases, and not to have to worry about another "doing unto her". With the adoption of women's rights, this doesn't seem right anymore either.

The next, and I think the only thing left, is religion. And, well, it doesn't add up. See, we have a freedom of religion in this country. You are more than welcome to practice any religion you wish. Since religious opinions on gay marriage vary(often wildly), sticking to "defend traditional marriage" at the government level simply can not exist. There are many laws separating church and state(although the line does gray in some states a bit), so why are you, armed only with your religion, trying to fight that? Within your religion you can do whatever the hell you want. You have that right. That right is broken at the point you are trying to push your value unto others.



I'm sorry, but the pressure to "do the right thing" isn't stopping anyone from getting a divorce. Perhaps had they a clear, non-judgmental upbringing, they'd understand better what they actually want instead of what they think society should want them to want. In my opinion, the answer shouldn't be to keep people together, unhappily forever.. but to get people to explore themselves and perspective partners before procreation. An ounce of prevention is worth a ton of cure.

TL;DR version;

If you don't want gay marriage, don't marry gay.

If you don't want to lose your spouse, get to know them better before you tie the knot.

Still hate gay marriage? You're welcome to. Just don't force that belief on anyone else.
 
No Reply to Roacho's posts?

C'mon fellas, don't act like it never existed.

So, as I read ElRoacho, it sounds more like this:

If you don't want a real marriage involving someone who's in some fundamental biological way different from you both physically and neurologically, and maybe even emotionally, don't do it.

If you really want a fake marriage involving someone who's pretty much just like yourself, and you really want to call it love, well. . . . don't expect others to necessarily approve of your silliness.

If you're angry that society, law, and the settled beliefs of a lot people won't treat you in all the same ways as they do real marriage, get a lawyer to help you negotiate a pay and benefits package that will give benefits to your household members just like employers do for legal families, get some smart legislators elected who will re-write tax and inheritance laws in ways that will allow you to have the same kinds of benefits any other household does.

Live with whoever you want for whatever reasons you want, and convince society there is no reason not to treat your household in exactly the same way regular man/woman households, or single parent, or single folks households. . . are treated. Figure out how to legally create a tiered committment legal structure that would protect folks who are just casual players with loose commitments in a way that is consistent with their desire to avoid actual legal obligations such as they might fear in a legal marriage, and convince judges somehow that it's all cool because they're not going to be asked to judge you by the wrong set of rules, and that there have been no consequences that require some imposition of justice on the people involved. well, maybe a simple contract among involved parties could do that. And if you really want a serious commitment relationship with anyone, get to know them first, talk things through, and develop some serious understanding, and get a contract that reflects it. Lifetime companionship, comfort, whatever the hell you want. If it goes well, fine. If it goes south like some "marriages", get your lawyers to ask the judge to apply the same kinds of rules to settling your differences as they do with "marriage", or maybe just follow the terms of the contract. . . .

Just don't expect moralists, or believers in actual physical reality, or people who otherwise want to seek an improved society based on their own different ideas to really want you disrupting their way of life. hmmmm..... maybe you don't really need to do that last one. . . . just don't go disrupting other peoples' ways of life and demanding they change their views to suit yourself.

But most of all, try to ditch the hijackers of your cause who want to create a lot of hate and controversy. Study Karl Marx so you can recognize political hacks who are trying to make merchandise out of you for their own power, and other social engineers of the whole megalomaniacal tradition of driving political and social change towards some man-made utopian belief systems supporting absolute tyranny upon all mankind, which were from the get-go intended to become state propaganda platforms for molding the world into some pipe dream. Hiss at them, make sure people don't get the idea you want to promote their cause and destroy their basic freedoms. Go about your lives, mind your own business like every other ordinary person does, and be nice to other people. Smile, say hi, and show respect for people who are different from you. Probably your whole problem with life will go away.

Nobody will really care, except a few missionaries and preachers who will look at you the same way they look at cannibal tribes, and they will come live among you and try to explain what's in their books, and love you unconditionally, and maybe spend a lifetime of service hoping to set an example in some way that you might choose to respect, and on some reflection, choose to follow.
 
colton said:
Personally, I cannot see where the bigotry, odiousness, or hurtfulness lies in my train of logic: (a) homosexual and heterosexual relationships are different on a fundamental level. Biologically this cannot be argued. Legally it also cannot be argued, because countless laws about marriages have underlying heterosexual assumptions. (See my first post in the thread for two examples regarding annulling marriages and granting divorces. Other examples abound.) (b) Therefore different words should be used to describe the different relationships.

Biologically, in terms of sexual behavior, less than 5% of the activity, representing one particular act, performed by a heterosexual couple are not available to a homosexual couple (if you are doing it right).

Biologically, in terms of DNA, humans and chimps are 95% similar.(*) But that remaining 5% is pretty darn significant, wouldn't you say?

But anyway, I'm bowing out of this discussion. I will simply note to conclude that in your response you didn't point out any bigotry, odiousness, or hurtfulness on my train of logic.

(*) Or so it's been reported. I don't know the accuracy of the number, but that's not vital to my point.
 
No Reply to Roacho's posts?

C'mon fellas, don't act like it never existed.

I truly didn't see it.

One particular part is disagree with is where he talks about marrying a woman and not having to worry about another man "doing unto her" and how that with the adoption of women's rights it does not seem right anymore either.

Well it is right. That is the point of marriage! It is also very true that the wife can say the same thing. That she should not worry about another woman "doing unto him" because he is now hers.

In a sense I belong to my wife and she belongs to me. I do not see that as holding her back and denying womans right since I, a man, am and should be held to the exact same standard.

I do agree on his opinion on religion. It should not be forced on others so I am for gay marriage. It should be allowed. Immediately. However, I often see the flip side of that. I am seeing non-religion being forced on religious people left and right.

For example: 5 minutes of silence every school morning to quietly do what you wish. If that is taking a 5 minute cat nap, texting your gf, praying, picking your nose, reading the bible...whatever and yet it is presented as pushing religion on other and that is poppycock! Absolute poppycock!

So yes religion should not be pushed on others but non religion should not be pushed on others either. That is what I see happening.
 
How unsurprising you try to disguise your failure to produce an argument with humor.

How unsurprising that you try to disguise your failure to answer a question with spin.

That is all this thread is. Spin. You claim otherwise and I do not believe you. Simple as that.

I see no honest effort behind your posts so i will treat them as not worth an honest effort. When you do post something I think is sincere I have shown a willingness to answer and talk. If suddenly that has changed perhaps a "why?" is in order...well now you know.
 
It seems that all of those who oppose gay marrige in this debate hold firm to a few core concepts:

-That no matter how you slice it, gay marriage would never be on equal footing because it's not a marraige between a man and a woman.

-When I've used my slavery comparisons, I've had more than one poster point out that there are no inherent differences between a white and a black person, yet there are obvious differences between a gay and a straight marriage.

-That if you think that someone is a biggot because they are against gay marriage, then you yourself are a biggot for judging them on their beliefs.

My thoughts on those 3 points:

-Of course gay marriage would be different than traditional marriage, but we live in a world where we already consider some straight marriages to be less than others. A perfect example would be those of you who were married in an LDS temple, or later had your marriage sealed in the temple. While you may not openly judge me or anybody else who was not married in the temple, you still believe in your doctrine that tells you that being sealed in the temple will seal you as man and wife for all eternity. Obviously, those of us who don't enter into the same type of marriage, do not get the same benefit. My point is not to bring up the debate of temple marriage vs non-temple marriage, it's simply to illustrate that you are going to see my marriage as something quite different from your own. While those differences may exist between us, we are still able to treat each other with respect despite our differences. I see no reason why this type of behavior couldn't exist between anybody in a straight marriage vs anybody in a gay one.

-I recognize the validity when somebody says my slavery argument is not 100% on point due to the fact that we know there are not differences between blacks and whites with the exception of skin color. I also agree with them when they point out that gay marriage falls short of our standard of having a man and a woman in the relationship. But while there are obvious differences in gay marriage, I believe it sets a bad precedent when we agrue against something on the platform that it is "different" from what is already practiced/accepted. Women are inherently different than men, but that doesn't mean they should be on lower footing. The different argument was brought forth when women fought for the right to vote, the right to for equal jobs, etc. "Different" is not a reason to deny a human basic human rights. What we are doing when we use this argument is telling our future generations that you can have all the civil liberties that you deserve as a human as long as you're not "different" from what we approve of as the norm.

-I see the irony in somebody who is for gay marriage calling somebody a biggot when they are in favor of traditional marriage. It's a slippery slope. Time has shown us that those who argued against equality for women were indeed biggots. The same can be said for those against desegregation, and so on. History definitely tends to favor those who were progessive thinkers and at the forefront of any civil rights movement. It's not really my call, or your call on how those people are seen. The benefit of time seems to be the ultimate judge.

I certainly see where those who are bound and determined to defend traditional marriage are coming from. Years ago, I felt exactly the same way. However, as time went by I started to look more at the big picture in an effort to try and understand the opposite point of view. It led me to believe that even if I don't approve of the gay lifestyle, it's not my job to judge it, or to try and keep them from having the same rights as me. For my own personal belief system, I feel the most appropriate thing to do is live and let live- within reason. Obviously, child molesters, wife beaters, etc. are criminals and should be treated as such. I've just decided that I'm not the authority on what 2 consenting adults want to do, even if that means letting gays legally be married.
 
Links? As far as you have shown, a few instances of racism happened in New York one year.

That's just one study. If you really want to read more studies, more analyses, etc., there's a world of scholarship out there. Either you care or you don't. I done enough of your homework for one thread.

I understand this, and as far as I'm concerned does not change anything in what I stated, and adds nothing to the point.

OK. I just want to make sure you were aware there was more than just looking at the effects of a criminal record.

They do use data from the other teams. Specifically when they talk about when candidates are pushed down or up for different jobs than what they applied for it uses data from the other teams which muddies the water. Either use all of the data all the time, or some of the data some of the time, not back and forth.

No, that was data from Team 1 and Team 2. You may it hard to believe, but they manage to track not only whether they were offered a job, but which job they were offered and the job for which they applied, without their heads exploding.

So you will discount my life studies as worthless, but will give credence to a pretend job searcher because it's part of a study, or because it fits your needs better?

Not being data does not make something worthless. I give credence to life stories/anecdotes because they help me understand why people think they way they do. For example, your story told me that you think since you life and the life of people around you has struggles, that other people who complain about the additional struggles placed upon them need to behave more like you and your friends. As long as the deck is stacked in your favor, other players just need to play better poker.

(but implied)

How so?

(but race of person to train was)

Yes, the race of all three applicants was described in the anecdote starting on page 4, since the effects of race on job applicants was the focus of the study.

Nice try, race of those hiring is mentioned in the report.

Quote it, then.

Also to be clear, I don't think it is as huge as you make it out to be.

Based on what evidence?

Could it be you are the one projecting?

I'm starting to think I am projecting what I see in me onto you.

Because my friend, then you could see how much of a two way street these racial tendencies are.

Your ignorance is profound. One of the more well-known, studied phenomena is the tendency for many black people who have offered an opportunity to decide that they are "one of the good ones". Hence, men who benefited from affirmative action, such as Clarence Thomas, reject the process for the next generation. Black managers don't want to be seen by their district managers as bringing down the business, so they are even more careful to hire white people, and ride their few black employees much harder. The two-way street you imagine comes from your ignorance and fear.

You just might see that black hiring managers will tend to be more comfortable with the black applicants and hire them more often than an applicant of another race all things being equal.

*You* might, but the reality is otherwise.

I could go into more detail, but that should be enough to give a normal person an understanding of what I mean. Let me know if you need more filler words or something.

Please. You're echoing the point of view I can see in every mainstream pundit, every news channel, documentaries, movies, TV programs, political speeches, etc. There is no mystery to it, and little truth.

Yes, when you say something stupid, it sounds stupid,

It is what it is, whether I call it that or not. As I said, I'm not doing more of your homework for you. I no longer think you care enough to learn the truth.

Let me explain it to you as I would to any rational circle thinking adult.

You would need to follow that up with a rational argument.

" Okay Biff, now if every single black hiring manager gave the black applicants a call back that would only require from the two teams for there to be 23 out of over 500 hiring managers to be black"

Really, every black manager encountered can offer a job to 100% of the black applicants who walk through his door? This is the "rational" position you care to throw out? Or, you mean by pure coincidence, every black applicant in the survey, leaving out the dozens/hundreds of other applicants who would not have been in the survey? Your position is fundamentally irrational and clearly not well thought-out.

So you completely did not get what my point was,

In all honesty, I never expected you to make such claim. I clearly have been projecting onto you qualities you do not posses.

In a controlled environment. What happens when they get out there in live situations? id these applicants train with the Marines for years ...

What happens is that black/Latino people deal with white people every day if they go to a school like Rutgers, so they don't have any greater degree of disease that can't be overcome by training.

However, it's interesting that you have to think Marine training is needed to deal with people from a different race and be at ease. Very interesting indeed.

... use it as your main backup as to why you think the way you think.

Again, there are decades of research and a whole slew of studies in different locations using different methodologies.

That's rich. Give me moar.

I've cast enough pearl. Go root if you need more.

So anyone who sees those same actions and yet does not perceive them the same way you do, must have their head buried in the sand? Genius!

Of course everyone perceives them differently, and yes, if you never have to confront the difficulties of privilege being used against you, you have to deliberately raise your head from the sand to see it.

And the super sensitive think everyone is a jerk and out to get them.

You have confused privilege and persecution.

Not quite. That would be do unto others what you would have them do unto you. Not really do whatever others want you to do so you don't offend them.

So, you want to be belittled, marginalized, and ignored?

Oh, I was translating what you were saying.

YOu did it badly.

Meh. Sometimes I feel like you are trying to take my Vizzini gig and show people your dizzying intellect and reason circles around them.
It offends me, I am the fake Vizzini, not you.

I cede you the position. I'm still serious that I think you don't want to say hurtful things.

As to the last line... I am definitely too lazy to go through and read your posts again to point out ...

So far, attempts to point it out have been met by my acting just like I say other people should. My confusion has been about why this was not obvious.
 
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