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Tonight's tease is brought to you by the Grizzlies. Don't give in! That's Chris Hansen hanging around the corner waiting to interrogate you about your bag of condoms and booze.

My German is pretty rusty and I understood about half of it, but this is a really great video.

I think Mitchell is well on his way to having a better shoe deal with Adidas.

Unless the impossible happens, Memphis beating OKC, Portland is going to have homecourt vs the winner of NOP vs SAS regardless of whether Portland wins tonight. Portland is playing for the second round opponent and avoiding the Houston side of the bracket. Utah is playing for home court in the...

Memphis is just not going to beat OKC, it's simply not worth considering. There is a single plausible scenario where the Jazz end up #7 -- lose to GS and Portland, and Minnesota and San Antonio both win. Every other scenario where the Jazz lose twice has them playing Portland. If we win...

I remember seeing a t-shirt in Portland with Chris Hansen's face (from To Catch a Predator) with "C**k Tease" written underneath. The night of April 9, 2018 will now be known as Chris Hansen night.

I haven't even looked at that many scenarios involving OKC losing to Miami, but yeah it looks like that could happen without the Pels losing to the Clippers.

Oh there is a scenario where the Jazz play Denver but it involves the Clippers beating New Orleans tonight. Outside of the Clippers beating the Pels and/or Miami beating OKC tonight (or something far crazier, like Sacramento beating San Antonio of something), the Jazz are going to be playing...

Zeke, Shaq, Pierce and Barkley know a few things about basketball (at least as fellow players), they specifically say DM as rookie of the year. Zeke, really, really likes him.

I haven't watched Philly much this year. I know that they've gotten on a hot streak the last few weeks because they've played about 12 of 14 games against EC Tank Battalion teams. How is Philly in the 4th quarter of close games? It seems like Simmons would be a disaster at that point in the game...

I was looking for a website where you plug things in and someone linked to one up above. Basically we can play the Pelicans as a 6th seed if the Pels lose to the Clippers but beat San Antonio and OKC loses to Miami.

It seems like the Pelicans are the least likely opponent in the first round if the Jazz end up with 48 or 49 wins. Unless there's a truly bizarre upset -- like the OKC losing to Memphis or San Antonio losing the Kings, I just don't see it. The only scenario where we play the Pelicans is if...

The most realistic path for the Jazz is to capture the 3 seed and for Minnesota or OKC to end up at #7 where they would have a puncher's chance vs Golden State. When Butler was healthy, Minnesota was the clear #3 in the West, so that first round series without Curry would be interesting. The...

Except the Thunder are the 5th best rebounding team in the NBA, Utah is 20th. Utah is also 20th in turning over the ball and OKC creates a lot of turnovers. They're the only team in the WC, other than the Rockets that we have a losing record against.

You would think the second scenario is the most likely, but the Jazz could lose to Golden State (or the Lakers) and still get the 3rd seed if Portland loses at Denver and the Jazz win in Portland and either NO or SA has 48 wins. That four way tie would put the Jazz at 3 and the OKC at 6. If NO...

If the Jazz end up at 49-33 or 48-34, I don't see any scenario where Utah doesn't have to play OKC. In a three and four way tiebreakers involving Portland and OKC, OKC comes out on bottom every time because they're 0-4 against Portland and only 2-2 against the Spurs and 1-2 against the Pelicans...

Phoenix did the Golden State thing first, but they never really went anywhere because the Spurs were in their way. The reality is Curry is a unicorn. I'll be shocked if anyone will ever again hit over 50% of their shots while shooting that many three pointers. A guy that can come close, Klay...

No idea what you're talking about. A moderator can look at my IP address, unless VPNs are being routed through St. George instead of Kazakstan, I'm a genuine account.

Mitchell has a little bit of Zeke in him -- doesn't have Zeke's handle and doesn't have the passing ability (but he's bigger and might have a better jumpshot), but he makes those crazy shots driving at the rim. As a kid, Isaiah was a lot of fun to watch -- Bird and Magic's greatness was not...

I don't really understand the desire for guns (although I kind of understand the fun of creating a massive custom rifle and shooting at inanimate objects) and why some people feel the need to build up an arsenal. The incidences of children getting killed in gun accidents is probably heavily...