The Thriller
Well-Known Member
That first question is really the core of it, isn't it.
My sister-in-law is a staunch anti-mormon. She started out LDS, very active in her childhood and into her 20's. She went to BYU-Idaho (then it was Rick's). Then she went back east and her attitudes changed. She started sleeping around and all that crap and left the church and for a long time was very very bitter. It consumed her, the animosity she felt to the church and, in her words, the "devastating culture of guilt and shame" that ruined her life, tainted her relationships with everyone. We had some long, often painful, discussions of what the church meant to all of us (my wife and I and her siblings). I really felt for her, even while her siblings lashed out, since they were also dealing with some of the emotional issues from their shared childhood (if you look up "dysfunctional family" in the dictionary you get a photo of my wife's family).
Finally, after about a decade of this, it seemed almost overnight, my SIL had a change of heart. I got her to talk about it one day and what she said mirrored what you say here almost exactly.
Her change of heart was not coming back into the LDS fold, but rather, being at peace with her own belief system. She felt at odds with her family, and herself, and she realized it was not "their" problem, it was hers. What you described about feelings is EXACTLY what she said brought her peace. She had fasted and prayed and read the bible, wanting to find peace. She had an epiphany (her words) that, although the mormon church is ABSOLUTELY wrong, it isn't necessarily evil. It doesn't have to be viewed as the enemy. She said her feelings told her that the path she was on was ABSOLUTELY correct. She described "feeling the spirit" exactly how we learn about it in the MTC (no she never went on a mission). She said the spirit helped her forgive the mormons she felt set her up to fail in her young life (my wife confirms her ward was like this more than others, driving every little thing home as if it were another chain dragging you to hell with no hope of release). And she felt she received forgiveness from the spirit for the contentions she caused in her family. She has worked to make amends since then as well.
It very obviously brought her peace, as the discussions around religion do not get mean and ugly any more. She "bares her testimony" of the falseness of the mormon church, of the truth of the bible and the freedom and warm spirit and peace she felt after her long nights "pouring out her soul" to God, and accepting, and being accepted and forgiven by, her Savior. She says she knows God lives, and knows that the LDS church is not his church since the spirit whispered it to her so clearly.
The evidence in her is astounding, if you knew her. She is very outspoken and often puts her foot in her mouth (even today but much less so). This is in no way something she could fake. She was always so bitter it showed in her face. She could not be around mormons without making comments. Even in random conversation she would blurt out that they were going to hell and they are destroying their children and should go to jail for raising their kids in such a damaging environment. It was painfully obvious she was not living a happy life. She has been far happier since her "spiritual rebirth" (her words), and I would say one of the most spiritual people I have known. She shows long-suffering and charity in ways she never even could before. And it has now been over a decade.
She is now far more christian in her words and deeds than her (somewhat overly-pious) brother who has been in the bishopric and/or stake presidency for the past 12 years or so, since he was about 26. My SIL shows a true testimony of Christ far stronger in its outward manifestations than my BIL ever has. I would be forced to say that I think she truly had a mighty change of heart, and received his image in her countenance. And it was in opposition to the Church.
So did the spirit whisper the truth to her? If not, how do you explain it?
Here's my take.
I don't believe the god will necessarily take them away from the church that you are referring to. I'm not sure about this (is anyone really?). I guess it depends on the grand scheme of things that god already knows.
However, I think what happened to your sister was the following:
She had a self realization/spiritual experience with god that allowed her to be at peace. It sounded to me like she had issues with keeping the commandments and the guilt or shame or social rejection (which can happen to LDS wards) seemed to be worse than the actual sin itself. I think in many cases, bishops and other leaders struggle with members with these issues. The fact? Bro/Sis had sex. The fact? Time machines haven't been invented yet, so go through the repentance process (whatever the case might be) and get over it.
Unfortunately, many people don't get over it.
I have a friend who fell into porn while serving his LDS mission. The guilt and depression led him to other problems. It has been nearly 4 years since the end of his mission, and he's no longer a member (but still believes in the gospel and is working to be baptized once again). He's gotten over the shame stuff mostly, since losing church membership, friends and family knowing what he had done, huge embarrassment, getting kicked out of BYU (and losing his scholarship), etc was tough. What motivates him now isn't to be socially accepted or to appease vanity in "keeping the commandments." It's that, he prefers an addicitionless and righteous life. Where he has girlfriends for their companionship, beauty, and love, rather for personal physical gratification. He wants to be in control of his body and mind. He wants to be able to participate in church callings and ordinances that he liked to participate in previously. He wants peace and happiness back into his life.
So, IMO, your sister felt that keeping the commandments brought about much guilt. Much like breaking the laws in society. However, it appears that to a degree, her perspective changed that night from "I must keep the commandments because they're commandments" to "I want to live a good clean life (which is keeping the commandments) because living so will bring me peace, joy, and happiness.
IMO, too many members of most Christian and non-Christian faiths look for quantitative data to base their faith on. I'm keeping xxxxxxx commandment so I must feel good about myself. It's almost like a checklist. When in reality, righteous living should bring about good feelings (and blessings).