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Three Things That Have Happened To You

When I was in the 4th grade I lived in northern Utah. I lived in a kid heavy neighborhood and behind this neighborhood was trees, bushes and trails. Nothing fancy, just undeveloped land. Well me and 3 friends were walking on the trails on a Saturday during the summer and something happened where two of them got in a fight. Soon sides were chosen and it ended up two on two. Well those trails where fairly popular among the kids in the area and soon about 30 kids were involved. Fairly evenly matched #s wise. It got fairly aggressive where a couple BB guns, sticks, rocks and anything else at hand were being used as weapons.

Well at that point one of my friends mom and dad were walking their full grown German Shepard name Romo. They happen upon our fight and yell real loud. We all turn to look at which point the Dad grabs Romo's leas and unhooks him and yells "get'em" Man we scattered in a second. The dog actually treed me at one point but kept running after some other kids. So I made it home thinking it was all over and I got away with helping start this big fight.

Well about 30 minutes later my Mom comes down and says that Mr. So and So is on the phone and was asking about a giant brawl and that a neighboorhood meeting was being held at another neighbors house. So all the parents and their kids gather at this house and the kids are all told to go into the back yard and stay there. Well we are all fine by this point (despite being very divided in the fight) and are laughing and talking. Not so much with the parents. Apparently one mom (not mine) got in another moms (not mine) face in defense of one of my older brothers who was accused of using a BB gun (he totally did). It turns out that mom #1 used to date mom #2s husband and that the husband dumped #1 for #2. #1 brought this up in front of everyone and accused #2 of stealing him and they got into a fist fight. Well that was that and we all went home. 2-3 months later #2 and her husband got divorced.
 
Stoked said:
3. I was crushed between two cars and the doctors thought I'd never walk again. Was wheelchair bound for three months. All I have now is a sore left knee (torn tendon)
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Man, at times I'll go a month without coming to this site and I know this story about you.
 
QuinSnydersHair said:
Great thread. Loved Stoked's just now. Was LOL'ing at our public pool. Moar please, Jazzfanz.
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I have a couple more, but that's about it.

1. I've performed CPR twice. Once successful, once not. It's a very bad experience, and a good reason I said **** the police for a long time.

2. When I was 17 I went camping with a friend in the west desert. We started drinking a couple beers when we hit the dirt and pulled up on this sand dune packed with a big camp of rowdies who were in their 20's -- pretty big age difference at that point in life. We had a few beers and laughs by the fire and these older girls were trying to get us to go off and smoke some weed. The attention was odd with all the guys there, and we were sure something was up so we left. We got into the truck and headed off the side of the sand cliff face when my buddy says "my speakers are gone". I said no dude, it's probably just a loose wire, and he says "no they're ****ing gone they ****ing took them". This crazy sum bitch decides it's a good idea to confront a group of at least 20 dudes about stealing his stuff and headed back. I thought we were going to die, but the chumps let him search their camp all friendly like while I prepared to **** myself in front of the girls.

We made camp down wind and sat by the fire drinking more beers. I passed out and he stewed like a **** on it, then woke me up at 5 a.m. for our planned unplanned revenge. He pulls up to the base of the sand hill and asks "what are we going to do". Still drunk, I say wait here and jump out to retrieve my hatchet. I run up the hill and pound the window of a white f-250 with a shell that a couple was sleeping inside of. 1, 2, 3 bam! window shatters.

I didn't know wtf I was doing and drunk ran back down the hill, falling over myself and throwing the hatchet off to the side so I didn't claim an artery or something. I grabbed it and jumped into the truck and we ran.

Vigilante justice is the most rewarding thing ever. I don't give a damn if that dude had nothing to do with it ... hang with thieves, die with thieves.


3. I beat the S&P by over 30% in 2008 despite having 1 stock make up 1/3 my portfolio and losing 92%. I've accomplished little in life, so this is my crown jewel.
 
Nothing really crazy in my life but once I was waiting for bus and there was this drunk guy wobbling around the bus station. It took blink of an eye and he somehow fell right in front approaching bus. Even if the speed of the bus was slow it was enough to to crush his skull and splatter his brain all over the road. After initial shock passed I noted about cherry size piece of brain with blood on my shoe. So after that episode nothing really grosses me out anymore.
 
AKMVP said:
Nothing really crazy in my life but once I was waiting for bus and there was this drunk guy wobbling around the bus station. It took blink of an eye and he somehow fell right in front approaching bus. Even if the speed of the bus was slow it was enough to to crush his skull and splatter his brain all over the road. After initial shock passed I noted about cherry size piece of brain with blood on my shoe. So after that episode nothing really grosses me out anymore.
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You preface that story with 'nothing really crazy in my life'? Wtf? Maybe I just have a bad stomach for that type of ish, but I am, and will be, disturbed by your story for some time.
 
1. I had a threesome with two gorgeous girls about 16 years ago. I was pretty drunk so unfortunately I don't remember it like I would like to. It was awkward the next day.

2. I was once attacked by a tiger shark miles away from shore in a sea kayak. It was small (about 9 feet) but knocked me in the water. If it had wanted to eat me, it could have. Luckily I was with friends who quickly pulled me in their kayak. I still love the ocean, but like rivers more. After the incident I noticed in the local paper not to swim at the beach I was at due to a tiger shark sighting the day before. The kayak was ruined (a rental) but luckily I had insurance.

3. My best friend's brother's sister is my dog.
 
LazyD said:
You preface that story with 'nothing really crazy in my life'? Wtf? Maybe I just have a bad stomach for that type of ish, but I am, and will be, disturbed by your story for some time.
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Sorry about it. It happened so fast that I was not even sure it was real at first. Only after other people in bus station started screaming and trying to pull guy from under the bus it hit me that I just witnessed human life end in front of my eyes in most brutal fashion.
 
JAZZGASM said:
1. I had a threesome with two gorgeous girls about 16 years ago. .
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Lucky. Only threesome I had was with one not so gorgeous girl who wanted to experience two guys at the same time. We were very drunk so don't remember a lot of details to be honest.
 
AKMVP said:
Lucky. Only threesome I had was with one not so gorgeous girl who wanted to experience two guys at the same time. We were very drunk so don't remember a lot of details to be honest.
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Haha. It's not gay if it's a three-way. Or so I hear from SNL.
 
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My parents had a way, way more interesting/romantic life than me. I was always really well behaved, and I grew up in safe schools and neighbourhoods



1) got in a fight with a group of 6 kids who randomly spat all over my car while we were inside a Denny's.
2) I've had porn pop up on my laptop while I was sitting in the front row of a 400 person lecture. Many laughs ensued, I stood up, and fist-pumped.


3) I used to work at IKEA, and my jon entailed collecting carts from the parking lot, and bringin them inside. I worked with a good pal of mine from school.


We had both started our first years of high school in September, and around November my friend/coworker walkie-talkies me, saying "'Dalamon', dude, my cousin Allison is coming with *insert the names of the three most hot, and popular girls in our school* and she'll be here in 30 minutes!!!".

Cue in my excitement, and sweaty palms.


Anywho. I keep collecting carts, go to the washroom, make sure my grill is looking good. Sweep my hair to the right a couple of times with the aid of saliva. Check. Off I go.


As I leave the washroom I notice a couple strange looks. I look at my reflection in the window. Nothing. I keep going



So I meet the group, exchange heys, and try and act super suave and cool. One of the girls says "Hey 'Dalamon', nice ***".

I'm like "haha uhh, thanks, I work out lots". *nervous shrug*


"No literally, nice ***...!!!"



I turn around, realize that my entire back right pocket of my jeans was ripped and folded over, like the lid of a can of sardines. I also had a gnarly wedgie from pushing carts all day, so my boxers looked like a g-string.
 
AKMVP said:
Lucky. Only threesome I had was with one not so gorgeous girl who wanted to experience two guys at the same time. We were very drunk so don't remember a lot of details to be honest.
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I'm dying. Lithuania gets down.
 
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dalamon said:
3) I used to work at IKEA, and my jon entailed collecting carts from the parking lot, and bringin them inside. I worked with a good pal of mine from school.


We had both started our first years of high school in September, and around November my friend/coworker walkie-talkies me, saying "'Dalamon', dude, my cousin Allison is coming with *insert the names of the three most hot, and popular girls in our school* and she'll be here in 30 minutes!!!".

Cue in my excitement, and sweaty palms.


Anywho. I keep collecting carts, go to the washroom, make sure my grill is looking good. Sweep my hair to the right a couple of times with the aid of saliva. Check. Off I go.


As I leave the washroom I notice a couple strange looks. I look at my reflection in the window. Nothing. I keep going



So I meet the group, exchange heys, and try and act super suave and cool. One of the girls says "Hey 'Dalamon', nice ***".

I'm like "haha uhh, thanks, I work out lots". *nervous shrug*


"No literally, nice ***...!!!"



I turn around, realize that my entire back right pocket of my jeans was ripped and folded over, like the lid of a can of sardines. I also had a gnarly wedgie from pushing carts all day, so my boxers looked like a g-string.
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Holy **** that got me laughing. Awesome.
 
infection said:
You and Andrei?
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I joined soon after taking this picture...


th
 
I've had a dull life. Some things I'm fairly sure I have not shared before.

1) When I was 11 (or so), I had a car pull to a full stop with a tire on top of one of my ankles.
2) In high school theater, I won an award for doing the most work behind the scenes, when no one else was around.
3) The only pets I've ever liked were the gerbils I had as a kid. I'm not fond of dogs nor cats.
 
So here is an experience I thought of as I have read this thread. Not sure it is report-worthy but it always makes me smile.

My dad and I started working out together after my cancer treatment, partly because during my cancer treatment my dad had multiple bypass surgery so we were supporting each other in the effort to get back in shape and take care of ourselves. We got memberships to Gold's and met 3 or 4 days a week in the morning before work.

One day we both had a rough start to the day, we got there late, my dad had a bad headache but wanted to get in his workout anyway, some other crap I can't remember just kind of put us in a rough mood. We walked the treadmill first, in silence because we were both in a funk of sorts. Then we went back to the weight room to lift a bit. In that Gold's the weight area was down a ramp behind the cardio area. As we walked down the ramp some machines were visible and on the very first machine, a seated leg lift, was a seriously hot girl in a very very tight-fitting outfit. She was obviously trying to lift a little too much weight, and was straining at it, holding onto the handles on the side of the machine for leverage. Right as we were within about 10 feet of her, her top slipped and a very nicely formed and rather large breast popped out and just kind of hung there because she couldn't just drop the weight to adjust anything. We both walked right by, and I know I was trying to be nonchalant about it. We got past her and I glanced at my dad. He had a broad grin on his face, looked at me and said "well this is going to be a good day." I just about fell on the floor laughing.
 
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